Air Force Veteran Finds Sobriety After 26 Years of Drug Misuse
I had been in rehabs to save jobs, did not work. I lost the jobs. I had been in rehabs to save marriages, did not work. I lost those marriages. For some reason, this time what they had to offer was logical.
My name is Anthony. My branch of service is the United States Air Force. My MOS is Munition Specialist, and I served from 1974 to 1976. Now, there was an incident. I had broken up with a high school sweetheart, knew I had to report to a duty station the next day, so in order to facilitate sleep faster, I took some sleeping pills. Felt like they weren't working, so I took more. Of course, I thought they weren't working, so I took more. I was awakened by someone kicking down my dorm room door, taken to the hospital.
I was informed later that I hadn't reported for my duty station for two days, and every time they sent someone to my dorm room, the same music was playing. The thing is, I just purchased an eight track and you know if you put a eight track in, that thing will play forever and forever until you take it out. And as far as they were concerned, it was a suicide attempt.
They also offered me an opportunity to separate honorably. So I took that. The challenge of transitioning to the civilian environment, it really had an impact on me.
I believe it was my first time freebasing, and the moment I took that first inhalation, I didn't feel a thing. That discomfort, I now understand it as pain now, but all of it was gone. And from that point on, I was looking for a coping method and that became it.
The drug of my choice was stimulant. If it was a stimulant, it was about me. And so we're talking about 26 years bouncing around the country. I did a lot of damage to people. I had done a dreadful thing to my mother who was in her early 80s, ripping her off. Really tipped that, we'll call it spiritual damage, really tipped it. That's when I began my recovery in earnest.
What happened was I found myself in a shelter. I was there for two days before someone assessed me. The determination was that I was suffering from clinical depression, service connected. They put me in a Veteran shelter. It was good. I was there for three years. Therapist there to talk to you. From 2000 to today, I can tell you the VA care has blossomed like night and day. The VA is a little more aware of some of the issues that military service can create.
We use lived experience to help each other. I still have a therapist that I see on a regular basis. I have a life now. I have three grown children, two boys and a girl. And so we have a wonderful relationship. I've been able to support her in some things.
Now, I played drums with some local bands growing up, and most of my friends are musicians, but it really was more therapy. I only have now, right? The past is a wrap. I learned how to identify what I can and what I can't control. Let the world be crazy. I don't have any control over anyone but me. Let me fix me. And so if anyone is in need of help, then I can be in the position to be available to them, but if I don't get well, I won't be able to do anything for anyone else.
