Army Veteran Encourages Others To “Be Vulnerable” in Order To Heal
I saw some combat-related things on that second deployment, opened my eyes to a lot of things. It completely changed my perspective on life.
Hi, I'm Lawrence. I served in the Army from 2008 to 2015, was an Intelligence Analyst. Grew up in a very patriotic family. The greater sense of purpose that the military gives you, the comradery, all of that is stuff I was looking for. The loss of my really good friend over there in 2012, that affected me quite a bit, and it still affects me today and every day.
Survivor's guilt, that is definitely something that I've struggled with quite a bit. Losing someone who was close to me over in Afghanistan, and having to come back home, I still keep in close contact with his wife and kids. Keeping that contact with her and their two kids is very important to me, so I've maintained that relationship the best I could.
Getting out of the military was definitely a culture shock. I moved back here to Atlanta, and going back to school was interesting. It was hard for me to build relationships. I struggled with making friends, not having much in common, and I still struggle with anxiety, depression. I get nervous in crowded areas. I mean, sometimes loud noises can also throw me off. Some trouble sleeping. Those are most of the symptoms that I deal with.
Coming out of the military, I started to identify those struggles, the anxiety, depression. I kind of reached a breaking point, and I decided to make it a priority in my life to seek mental health treatment.
Group therapy was much more beneficial for me. Just being able to hear other Veterans' stories, and realize there are a lot of other Veterans that are going through a lot of the same struggles I was going through. I'm diagnosed with PTSD through the VA, and through private care as well. Breathing, meditation really helps, basically to at certain times, know when to isolate myself, get a good understanding of like, what I'm feeling internally, and then basically know how to deescalate the anxiety and depression. Tools for that was huge for me. Going to therapy, taking the medication, going to the gym, being with friends and family, doing the things that I enjoy, my hobbies, things like that. I would say it's improved my relationships significantly. It's definitely made me a more patient person.
I think that being out in nature for me personally is just very relaxing. I think it's good to walk, very therapeutic. I would say the coffee industry is very enjoyable for me as well. It's cool to have something that I enjoy also be my business. We're Terminus Coffee, and we are a small-batch coffee roaster based out of Atlanta here. Roasting was just fascinating to me. The whole process of it that, be vulnerable. I think a lot of Veterans struggle with vulnerability. That is the key thing with healing. I felt like it was a good thing for me to give my time to basically, tell my story, and hopefully it will impact other Veterans to do the same.
