“You can’t do it alone.” Veteran Opens Up About His Drug Recovery
I've been using alcohol and drugs since I was 13 years old. Some people leave treatment and don't ever have a chance to go back, thinking that they're just gonna go get one more and that's the last one. Some people really die.
Joey, US Army Reserve Logistics Specialist. Served from October 2005 to October 2013. I always wanted to be in the Army ever since I was a little kid. I wound up going Reserve. I wanted to go full-time Active Duty. It just didn't work out that way. During my time in the Army Reserves, I tested positive for cocaine. Field Grade Article 15 with a Chapter 11 discharge recommendation. I'm lucky I got a honorable discharge.
My addiction picked back up, you know? Strung out on heroin and there for about eight years, I was completely unemployable. I was living in the streets if I wasn't in prison. Living under a bridge in downtown Cincinnati. Everybody tried to help as long as they could and I was just distant from everybody. A big part of my story was self-loathing and self-hate. I tried to commit suicide several times. I've tried to overdose several times on purpose and I would always wake up at a hospital where I thought death was, those were the lucky ones.
I was in Veterans Treatment Court. I go in front of the judge and she's like "What do you want to do?" And I said "Go back to prison." She said "No, I'll give you a chance." So I went to a lockdown treatment facility in Cincinnati through Drug Court. A 12-Step group came in every night. At this point, I haven't spoken to really any of my family members for about a year or so. I remember a friend of mine that was in that 12-Step group came up and he said "Hey man, your parents told me you were here. They wanted to let you know to stick and stay and that they love you." They knew, you know? They always knew where I was.
Manic depression and then I've been diagnosed with substance use disorders. My experience with treatment and rehabs is you get out what you put in. I have a 12-year-old son. I wasn't able to see him for about five years. When I was doing my amends process with him, I said "Hey buddy, this is what I did. I wasn't there, there was neglect involved, right? 'Cause I was in active addiction." And he said "I just want you to be my dad." He forgave me right there. The minute I quit feeling sorry for myself and people calling me out and letting me know that I'm not the victim anymore, my perception changed.
I've been sober since January 10th of 2020. I have a fiance that's very supportive. We have children together. My two youngest have never seen that side of me. My life now, totally better than I could have ever imagined. I work for the Joseph House. It's a Veterans homeless shelter. We offer drug and alcohol treatment. I cherish the moments that I have with my kids. My son especially, he's been through a lot. Everything I've been taught about recovery is that you can't do it alone. If you have an opportunity to get with the VA, get with the VA, be surrounded by people. I think that's what works for me is surrounding myself with good people in the beginning. I did not think that I was worthy of a good life. That's not true. Everybody deserves a good, happy life.
