I was living in Okinawa and I played with a women's team out there. There was a girl, her name was Penny. She was like, "You should play for the Marine team." Being in the military and being away from my family so young, I think it's really vital to have kind of like that community. My name is Jamie, served in the United States Marine Corps from 2002 to 2006, and my MOS was 6541, Ordinance Technician.
Serving during Don't Ask Don't Tell wasn't a big deal when I didn't know. But then when I kind of discovered that about myself, it was nerve-wracking. And so I think I knew right away that I would never re-up if I wanted to live authentically. Had an experience with a girl, another Marine, and that came out. I remember standing at attention in front of a whole line of officers and higher up NCOs. I tried to play it off as I was just being dumb and doing it for the boys. Fortunately, it didn't impact anything, and so I was able to discharge honorably.
Some of the symptoms I was experiencing before treatment was this huge weight of being overwhelmed and things stacking up. I couldn't focus on one thing, so I wasn't gonna focus on anything. And then my anxiety would go up and then depression would set in because I just couldn't function.
What led me to seek mental health treatment was Covid actually. I had a lot more time to think about things, but it was probably the most I had ever looked at myself internally. At some points, I felt like the military had held me back and my peers were ahead of me. I didn't go to college until later. I didn't start my job until later and I felt like this constant catch up and then all these things just started flooding like I should be here now. I think I struggled with that.
My diagnosis was ADHD with mild depression and anxiety. They put me through a mindfulness workshop. It really made me start paying attention to kind of my physical triggers, so to speak, and paying attention to what circumstances were making me feel this way and what does that mean and not so much holding onto where I should be and just enjoying where I'm at. When I was receiving the talk therapy, it initially was telehealth because it had started during Covid, telehealth or in-person, I don't think there's one that I prefer. I think there's benefits to both and I would seek either. It was I think a relief when I started and when I was able to start telling people. And so I just started telling everybody and just being who I was and I could tell that was easing my stress and anxiety once people saw me for me. I feel more support today than I ever have, and I think that's in part because I've chosen and been more selective about the people that are in my circle and I surround myself with.
As far as activities and hobbies, I play softball. Staying active and staying in kind of a team setting and that social aspect really I think is just good for the soul.
I wanted to share my story with "Make the Connection" because there aren't very many women in the military. There aren't very many queer women in the military. If my journey can help somebody else find their journey, that'd be pretty cool.
