If I would've obviously taken my life, I wouldn't have, you know, remarried. I wouldn't have younger children. I wouldn't get to experience all the, the, you know, amazing things that I have been able to experience with them and I would've missed out on.
Hi, I am John. I was in the Marine Corps from 2002 to 2022. I was originally a 3533, a Motor Transport Operator, and I retired as an 8999, a First Sergeant. I was young, married 18, divorced at 19. I got married again at 20, and then I got divorced again before I was 23. What I thought would be something that I received, you know, some type of support from my leadership on the drill field, I didn't, so just, you know, all those things, just feeling completely
kind of alone. And that was my kind of driving factor. Work sucked. My marriage sucked. I thought my life sucked, so therefore, if I was to go away, who would, who would miss me? And that was the, for me, my breaking point.
But initially when I first saw mental health, it was a Navy doctor, two to three times a week, up to two hours, depending on, you know, what was
being discussed or what we were covering. That was initially, you know, very in depth and, and intense. I saw another mental health therapist, this one was a civilian, and then now I see one through Tricare for more of kind of just ensuring and bettering myself.
Initially, my biggest tool was, at the end of the day, you care more about yourself, so you're taking care of yourself that truly can ensure that you are the best, whatever version of you to whoever else is around you.
You can bottle things up and sometimes it just kind of disappears, but at the same time, it might get to a level where it's no longer something that you can bottle up. When you sit there and you talk to somebody and you can kind of let things out or let the steam kind of, you know, get out, it gives you a good reset. And I think for me, that's kind of my escape in some ways.
I usually just try to go out and do something completely by myself. Not this last year, but the year before that I went, I went hiking probably, you know, four or five hours and just went and stopped and just, you know, did a lot of remembering things and, and looking at my life and looking, you know, where I was in certain times in my life and, and now to where I am. And in a
weird way, seeing what I would've missed.
You might not get the best therapist on the first time. Try it, and if you don't like it, try it again. Don't throw the baby out with bath water. Just because you have a bad experience, that doesn't mean that you should completely just throw it away, the thought, or the idea of, of seeing someone else. You might find one that you absolutely love and can help you. It just takes some time.
My family knows, you know, the struggles that I've been through, they know that, that I've went, you know, and, and saw a therapist and, and different stuff like that. And it's really their small opinion of that small core
group of family members that I really, truly care about. So I could care less what, what others outside, you know, believe.
Every situation is serious and we, we have to take it serious even if, you know, we don't necessarily believe that an individual might actually harm themselves. We have to be there for 'em. We have to attempt to get them the help that they need until, you know, realize that their life is worth living.
