Maggie discusses how her spouse, Tracey, had a difficult time transitioning back into civilian life. Tracey couldn't sleep at night, was on edge all the time, and was dealing with posttraumatic stress. Listen as Maggie describes how Tracey was able to find help at VA.
View Video TranscriptMaggie:
My name is Maggie and I'm married to Tracy. When she came back from being deployed, she had a very difficult time just transitioning back into the civilian world. I think she held back a lot, especially any military connections or Veterans connections. She was reticent to check in with her unit that she had deployed with when they were getting together either the VFW or other social events. Just because it stirred up a lot of stuff and she wanted to see those people, she wanted to keep that connection, but it was difficult.
I was academically familiar with PTSD, but not personally. I was aware of the situation, I understood some of the psychologically, biologically what’s going on, but I had not had someone so close to me experiencing these things.
She was seldom sleeping at night and so she would sleep during the day. Tried to find work, but I think wasn’t quite ready to be working full time. When she did work, she ended up working at the VA, which had some advantages as it turns out, but also some disadvantages in that it was a little bit too close to home in terms of the struggles that she was going through.
One of the great things that happened because of that was that she was able to see some of the services that were available to her and so I think she reached out for some services earlier on in her transition than other people might have. And even though it was uncomfortable, and she didn’t want to, she knew it was important.
Tracy received some medical services at the VA, so that was important at a base level, helped physically take care of some of things happening with her. But then also her doctors were able to help connect her with a Counselor that she was visiting with on a regular basis and then also at times some of the women support groups. She was lucky in that the VA that she was first attending was really putting an effort towards reaching out to the women in particular.
When Tracy was getting ready to go back to school, she had a few things that came along with her. Not only was she returning to school as a transfer student who had been away for a while, which has its own struggles, she also was returning after being deployed and after having struggled to transition into a civilian life in general. She certainly did not feel like many of the people around her were her typical peers. I think at times it was frustrating in that it seemed they were so young and knew nothing about anything.
The VA knows more than anyone what the Veterans are doing, what they’re up to, what the trends have been. So, it’s nice to be in a place where that’s familiar. Where you don’t have to explain every acronym that you’re using to describe your experiences. Cause for the most part, whoever is on the other side of that tends to know what you’re saying, what you’re talking about, where you’re coming from. So not only is that important for the Veterans, I think it’s a good resource for family members and spouses as well.
No matter what you may be experiencing, there is support for getting your life on a better track. Many, many Veterans have found the strength to reach out and make the connection.
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If you are experiencing dizziness, lie down for a few minutes with your head slightly elevated. Lifestyle changes such as drinking more water, getting enough rest, and avoiding alcohol or drugs can help. Medications and medical conditions such as heart disease or ear issues can also cause dizziness; consult a medical provider if you get dizzy on a regular basis. If you suddenly lose function in part of your body (e.g., arm weakness, face drooping, difficulty speaking) along with experiencing vertigo, this can indicate a serious problem, such as a stroke. Call 911 and seek medical help immediately. Learn more steps you can take on our Dizziness page.
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A flashback can be distressing for you and those around you. Try grounding yourself by focusing on details of your surroundings or neutral physical sensations, such as the feeling of your feet on the floor. Call someone you trust and tell them what is happening. Your family, friends, or health care provider may be able to provide support and help you deal with your flashbacks. Learn more steps you can take on our Flashbacks page.
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Learn what triggers episodes of noise or light irritation. Try making adjustments to computer and TV screens, and ensure you get the right amount of sleep. If you're taking medication and want to know if it could be affecting your sensitivity to noise or light, talk to your doctor. Certain drugs or medications may cause vision or hearing problems. Never stop taking a prescription without first consulting a medical professional. Learn more steps you can take on our Noise or Light Irritation page.
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Nightmares
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To manage upsetting feelings after a nightmare, focus on what's real by touching and describing objects around you. If you're unable to sleep within 15 minutes, leave your bed briefly to wash your hands or drink water while avoiding any strenuous activity. Also, talk to your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're experiencing. They may be able to provide support and help you find solutions. Learn more steps you can take on our Nightmares page.
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What can I do about drinking or drug use?
There are many options for Veterans who want to cut down on or stop drinking alcohol or using drugs. One option is counseling, either one-on-one or in a group. Another involves medication to help reduce use. A third option is mutual-help groups. You can work with your doctor or counselor and try different types of treatment to find the one that's best for you. Learn more steps you can take on our Alcohol or Drug Misuse page.
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Gambling
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If I’m experiencing a gambling problem, what can I do about it right away?
The first step in addressing your challenges is to acknowledge that gambling has become a problem in your life and recognize that it is possible to make a change. Practice relaxation exercises such as deep breathing to manage stress and urges to gamble. Spend time with supportive people who do not gamble, and talk with your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're experiencing. They may be able to provide support and help you find solutions that are right for you. Learn more steps you can take on our Gambling page.
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Reckless Behavior
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What can I do if I’ve noticed myself engaging in reckless behavior?
There are ways to prevent yourself from engaging in risky behavior. Plan to avoid situations that might lead to recklessness. For example, leave early or late to avoid rush-hour traffic, or arrange a ride home if you'll be drinking. Talking with your family members, close friends, or a health care provider may help you find support and resources to address your challenges. Learn more steps you can take on our Reckless Behavior page.
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