Negative public opinion for the Gulf War had an impact on Michael. Some people looked down on his service. He had trouble finding work, felt on-edge, and angry. After his wife died, things got worse. Hear how a VA nurse helped Michael get over concerns about seeing a mental health professional and guided him on the path to PTSD recovery.
View Video TranscriptMichael:
My name is Michael, and I was in the U.S. Navy for two and a half years, damage control chemical warfare. First off, we went for our med cruise and then we got some things done in Panama, first. That was one campaign. The second campaign we went to Libya where we did some stuff there. And then obviously, Kuwait was invaded while we were out there.
Well, it first started off with my knee. It gave out. They call it steel deck syndrome. I have deterioration in my left knee. So, after everything was over with, I got out and a couple years later I was classified as having chronic PTSD.
First off, a lot of people were against what I did, so that didn’t help any. I remember filling lots of applications out. People were getting ready to hire me until they flipped the back page over and said, “You’re in the military.” And I said, “Yeah.” “Were you in the Gulf War?” I said, “Yes, I was.” And they said, “We’ll call you.” Nobody would ever call. A lot of people were totally against the war. I got a lot of people that talked down to me quite a bit. It was pretty difficult.
I would wake up in cold sweats just screaming or something and yelling. I drank quite a bit actually. I was drinking about three 6-packs of beer along with whatever else you put in front of me. I was smoking quite a bit at the same time. I knew something was wrong but wasn’t quite sure what.
I experienced a lot of road rage. Getting angry for no reason, getting sad for no reason. Crying, waking up, like I said, thinking somebody was going to attack me. I hated nighttime. I couldn’t stand it. I knew that during the night those dreams would come to me and I was trying to do the best I could to get rid of them by drinking.
I don’t like nighttime still. I don’t like it. I sleep in the middle of the bed. The blinds are closed and that’s it.
I have physicals every 6 months at the VA hospital. One day the nurse came in asked me, “We’re supposed to ask you these questions now. Do you feel suicidal? Depressed? Anxiety? Crying a lot?” And I kind of looked at her and said, “Yeah, a little bit.” She goes, “Are you willing to see psychiatry?” And I said, “No, because I’m not crazy.” And she said, “Well, we’re not saying you’re crazy.” She kind of pushed me towards making appointments to see a psychologist and psychiatry.
A lot of people deny having PTSD, and the ones that do have it are in denial with it. I think they’re a little bit hesitant to go and see a psychiatrist because it’s something new that you’ve never had to do before. But in the long run, you’re probably going to put yourself in a position that I was in because I used to drink a lot and I almost died from it.
So, I think anybody out there who thinks they need to see somebody, please do it now because it gets worse and worse and worse. You have to come out of your shell eventually because it’s not going to get any better. I think that if you have PTSD or anything else that came with the military, you shouldn’t be ashamed to get help out there. Because obviously, I didn’t want to get help at first, but I was talked into it. And I’m damn glad I did because if I hadn’t gotten help back then I wouldn’t be here now.
No matter what you may be experiencing, there is support for getting your life on a better track. Many, many Veterans have found the strength to reach out and make the connection.
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If you are experiencing dizziness, lie down for a few minutes with your head slightly elevated. Lifestyle changes such as drinking more water, getting enough rest, and avoiding alcohol or drugs can help. Medications and medical conditions such as heart disease or ear issues can also cause dizziness; consult a medical provider if you get dizzy on a regular basis. If you suddenly lose function in part of your body (e.g., arm weakness, face drooping, difficulty speaking) along with experiencing vertigo, this can indicate a serious problem, such as a stroke. Call 911 and seek medical help immediately. Learn more steps you can take on our Dizziness page.
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A flashback can be distressing for you and those around you. Try grounding yourself by focusing on details of your surroundings or neutral physical sensations, such as the feeling of your feet on the floor. Call someone you trust and tell them what is happening. Your family, friends, or health care provider may be able to provide support and help you deal with your flashbacks. Learn more steps you can take on our Flashbacks page.
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Learn what triggers episodes of noise or light irritation. Try making adjustments to computer and TV screens, and ensure you get the right amount of sleep. If you're taking medication and want to know if it could be affecting your sensitivity to noise or light, talk to your doctor. Certain drugs or medications may cause vision or hearing problems. Never stop taking a prescription without first consulting a medical professional. Learn more steps you can take on our Noise or Light Irritation page.
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Nightmares
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To manage upsetting feelings after a nightmare, focus on what's real by touching and describing objects around you. If you're unable to sleep within 15 minutes, leave your bed briefly to wash your hands or drink water while avoiding any strenuous activity. Also, talk to your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're experiencing. They may be able to provide support and help you find solutions. Learn more steps you can take on our Nightmares page.
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What can I do about drinking or drug use?
There are many options for Veterans who want to cut down on or stop drinking alcohol or using drugs. One option is counseling, either one-on-one or in a group. Another involves medication to help reduce use. A third option is mutual-help groups. You can work with your doctor or counselor and try different types of treatment to find the one that's best for you. Learn more steps you can take on our Alcohol or Drug Misuse page.
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Gambling
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If I’m experiencing a gambling problem, what can I do about it right away?
The first step in addressing your challenges is to acknowledge that gambling has become a problem in your life and recognize that it is possible to make a change. Practice relaxation exercises such as deep breathing to manage stress and urges to gamble. Spend time with supportive people who do not gamble, and talk with your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're experiencing. They may be able to provide support and help you find solutions that are right for you. Learn more steps you can take on our Gambling page.
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Reckless Behavior
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What can I do if I’ve noticed myself engaging in reckless behavior?
There are ways to prevent yourself from engaging in risky behavior. Plan to avoid situations that might lead to recklessness. For example, leave early or late to avoid rush-hour traffic, or arrange a ride home if you'll be drinking. Talking with your family members, close friends, or a health care provider may help you find support and resources to address your challenges. Learn more steps you can take on our Reckless Behavior page.
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