Hear Veterans share their stories of transitioning from military service or returning from deployment and adjusting to a new life. Support from family, friends, and VA helped make the difference and set these Veterans on the path to success.
View Video TranscriptDarren:
I had a lot of apprehensions when I got out of what I was going to do, where I would fit in, what kind of job I would get, and what I found out is that the skills that you bring out of the military, the leadership skills, the organizational skills, the commitment, the work ethic and all of that is highly valuable in civilian life, but you have to also realize that civilian life is not military life.
Stephanie:
It was scary going from being in the military to being a civilian. You've been in this one way of life for however long, four and a half years in my case, and everything's set. Then all of a sudden you can do whatever you want but you don't have the security either. It was an extra challenge trying to figure out how I was going to go from this very rigid life to something altogether different.
Owen:
When you get deployed I tell all my soldiers this, that it changes you, whether it be good for bad it doesn't matter, it's going to change you.
Jake:
I think it's just something that you have to accept. If you go to war and you do two deployments and you see everything that a guy in the infantry sees, if you're not changed when you come back then there's something wrong.
Nicole:
I think the biggest challenge for me was just the new perspective that you have. Once you've gone once, subsequently you know that the same person is not going to come back, but the people you leave behind, they don't know that. They don't realize that and they expect to be able to pick up right where you left off, and that's not the case.
Casey:
The way of life on a deployment, it's life or death and every little thing you don't look at or you do look at or if you turn your head the wrong way you could miss something and every little thing, if you're not alert and you miss it, it could cost not just your life but someone that you should be looking out for, their life, and when you get back from a deployment it's not like that here. You can settle down and things aren't life and death. Here there's all this other stress that other people have that you don't feel because you don't feel that it's life or death.
Justin:
Getting shot at, going through stuff that you go through and really just kind of being on the front lines of that and then coming back to life it's, like, “Really? Is this it?”
Nicole:
You bring back this perspective of the horror that people can do to each other, the living conditions that others are in, and when you hear your girlfriend going off about her lip gloss is too shiny or she burnt the chicken it's, like, “I know some people who would eat that chicken,” and it just becomes irritating.
Jake:
Coming back you kind of you lose the brotherhood. Suddenly you go from having this very tight-knit group that you trust with everything, that you share everything and that you've been through everything with, and now suddenly they're just gone.
Scott:
The first few months after I came home it was nice, it was fun, everybody comes up and it's, like, “Hey, nice to be home, good job,” and you're, like, this big war hero, and then after everybody's done that to you it's all of a sudden now I'm just every other guy on the street, you know? And that's when things started to really kind of hit me.
Justin:
You go from being America's hero and really doing something that you felt really mattered to going to college classes and then getting a job.
Jake:
You need to find someone that you can talk to, someone who can identify with what you're going through, and it doesn't have to be a Veteran. It often will be but it doesn't have to be, and just find someone whom you trust and just talk about it. They don't even have to say a word, all you have to do is just talk, and all they have to do is listen.
No matter what you may be experiencing, there is support for getting your life on a better track. Many, many Veterans have found the strength to reach out and make the connection.
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If you find yourself living with guilt or remorse about a past action or inaction, try to set aside time to think about your feelings. Remember that everyone has things they would have done differently—but no one can change the past or predict the future. Sometimes the experience is worse if you keep your feelings to yourself. Telling someone, like a family member or friend, about your regrets or guilty feelings can be a good first step to overcoming them. Learn more steps you can take on our Guilt page.
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If you are experiencing loss of interest or pleasure, try to plan a pleasurable activity daily, even if it's something small. Physical activity can improve your mood and help you sleep better. Talking to your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're feeling can also be helpful. They may be able to provide support and help you discover what is causing you to lose interest in things you once enjoyed. Learn more steps you can take on our Loss of Interest or Pleasure page.
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Allowing social withdrawal or social isolation to continue unchecked will only make your situation more challenging. Consider reaching out to your family members, friends, or health care provider, even though it may be the last thing you feel like doing. Connect with Veterans' groups or participate in clubs or hobbies focused on something you like. Research shows that spending time talking with others improves your mood and has a positive effect on health. Learn more steps you can take on our Social Withdrawal and Isolation page.
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If you're experiencing stress and anxiety, try practicing relaxation techniques, such as deep breathing, to help you cope when things upset you or don't go according to plan. In addition, talk to your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're experiencing. They may be able to provide support and help you find solutions. Learn more steps you can take on our Stress and Anxiety page.
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If you are experiencing eating problems, find healthy ways to manage stress, such as taking a walk, going for a run, practicing relaxation exercises like deep breathing or meditation, or doing something nice for yourself like watching a movie or reading. Also, talk to your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're experiencing. They may be able to provide support and help you find solutions. Learn more steps you can take on our Eating Problems page.
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If you are experiencing headaches, try to rest with your eyes closed and head supported. Getting enough sleep, eating regularly without skipping meals, staying hydrated, and maintaining good posture are simple lifestyle changes that can help you avoid or reduce headaches. Talk to your doctor if you experience frequent or recurring headaches, which can be a sign of a medical issue. Learn more steps you can take on our Headaches page.
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There are several ways to improve your sleep right away: (1) Make your bedroom a place just for sleeping—not for activities like watching TV, reading, working, or listening to the radio. (2) Avoid light exposure from screens at night, which can throw off your sleep cycle. (3) Avoid alcohol and large meals near bedtime. (4) Maintain a regular sleep schedule. In addition, talking with your family members, close friends, or a health care provider may help you find support and resources to address your challenges. Learn more steps you can take on our Trouble Sleeping page.
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Cognitive Symptoms
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If you are experiencing confusion, try to slow down and focus on the task at hand. Take regular breaks to avoid feeling tired and overwhelmed. Avoid drinking alcohol, which can make confusion worse. Talk to your health care provider to determine whether a medical condition such as TBI might be contributing to the problem. You can also talk to a pharmacist about the possible effects of medications you're taking. Learn more steps you can take on our Confusion page.
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Difficulty Concentrating
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If you are experiencing difficulty concentrating, avoid distractions like loud music or the television. Develop a routine and try to stick to a regular schedule. Additionally, take regular breaks to prevent feeling tired. Talk to your health care provider to determine whether a condition such as TBI, ADHD, or anxiety might be contributing to the problem. You can also talk to a pharmacist about the possible effects of medications you're taking. Learn more steps you can take on our Difficulty Concentrating page.
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Dizziness
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If you are experiencing dizziness, lie down for a few minutes with your head slightly elevated. Lifestyle changes such as drinking more water, getting enough rest, and avoiding alcohol or drugs can help. Medications and medical conditions such as heart disease or ear issues can also cause dizziness; consult a medical provider if you get dizzy on a regular basis. If you suddenly lose function in part of your body (e.g., arm weakness, face drooping, difficulty speaking) along with experiencing vertigo, this can indicate a serious problem, such as a stroke. Call 911 and seek medical help immediately. Learn more steps you can take on our Dizziness page.
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Flashbacks
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If I’m experiencing a flashback, what can I do about it right away?
A flashback can be distressing for you and those around you. Try grounding yourself by focusing on details of your surroundings or neutral physical sensations, such as the feeling of your feet on the floor. Call someone you trust and tell them what is happening. Your family, friends, or health care provider may be able to provide support and help you deal with your flashbacks. Learn more steps you can take on our Flashbacks page.
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Noise or Light Irritation
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If I'm experiencing noise or light irritation, what can I do about it right away?
Learn what triggers episodes of noise or light irritation. Try making adjustments to computer and TV screens, and ensure you get the right amount of sleep. If you're taking medication and want to know if it could be affecting your sensitivity to noise or light, talk to your doctor. Certain drugs or medications may cause vision or hearing problems. Never stop taking a prescription without first consulting a medical professional. Learn more steps you can take on our Noise or Light Irritation page.
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Nightmares
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If I’m having nightmares, what can I do about it right away?
To manage upsetting feelings after a nightmare, focus on what's real by touching and describing objects around you. If you're unable to sleep within 15 minutes, leave your bed briefly to wash your hands or drink water while avoiding any strenuous activity. Also, talk to your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're experiencing. They may be able to provide support and help you find solutions. Learn more steps you can take on our Nightmares page.
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High-Risk Activities
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Alcohol or Drug Misuse
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What can I do about drinking or drug use?
There are many options for Veterans who want to cut down on or stop drinking alcohol or using drugs. One option is counseling, either one-on-one or in a group. Another involves medication to help reduce use. A third option is mutual-help groups. You can work with your doctor or counselor and try different types of treatment to find the one that's best for you. Learn more steps you can take on our Alcohol or Drug Misuse page.
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Gambling
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If I’m experiencing a gambling problem, what can I do about it right away?
The first step in addressing your challenges is to acknowledge that gambling has become a problem in your life and recognize that it is possible to make a change. Practice relaxation exercises such as deep breathing to manage stress and urges to gamble. Spend time with supportive people who do not gamble, and talk with your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're experiencing. They may be able to provide support and help you find solutions that are right for you. Learn more steps you can take on our Gambling page.
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Reckless Behavior
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What can I do if I’ve noticed myself engaging in reckless behavior?
There are ways to prevent yourself from engaging in risky behavior. Plan to avoid situations that might lead to recklessness. For example, leave early or late to avoid rush-hour traffic, or arrange a ride home if you'll be drinking. Talking with your family members, close friends, or a health care provider may help you find support and resources to address your challenges. Learn more steps you can take on our Reckless Behavior page.
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