Taking the first step to improve relationships
Interviewee 1:
I have to do everything by task the same way all the time to make sure. It drove my family nuts, drives them nuts. And it actually, it drove a pretty good wedge between us before we knew really what the problem, it was just dealing with your own stuff and you don't want the family to see what you're dealing with, so you're trying to deal with it by yourself, but then oh it's just, I'm so surprised, actually, that we are still married, because we have really, really had to deal with some things.
Interviewee 2:
Me and my wife actually split up. I wasn't the same person anymore. She wanted me to get help, and I was sort of fighting that a little bit. I distanced myself from all my family and everybody. I didn't talk to anyone, even friends.
Interviewee 3:
My family was great. You know, I had a really fantastic support system. But there's always going to be a little bit of a schism there because they're going through their own ordeal while you're away, and you're going through, obviously, what you're going through while you're there.
Interviewee 4:
I just didn't, it didn't seem like I fit in anymore, you know. I probably didn't have the affection that I should have had, that I would have had before, you know. It's like the love was gone.
Interviewee 5:
It affected our marriage, because I got very aggressive towards her sometimes as well as to other people.
Interviewee 6:
I had a fiancé right when I got back. With my deployment, I became a little bit a different person and maybe what we had in common before we didn't necessarily have in common after, but we never really took the time to, I think, get to know each other again, which is I think something you almost have to do.
Interviewee 7:
My immediate family didn't understand, and that's what led to my divorce, is that I asked my wife to go to counselling with me. And she didn't understand what it was, and finally when we had signed everything on the divorce, she started crying. And she said, “Now I just noticed that you were reaching out for the last two years.” But she didn't know how to reach back.
Interviewee 8:
My family, you know, they'd question me over something really trivial and I just wouldn't understand that it is important to them but it wasn't to me, and it was eventually them that told me like, “Brandon, you've changed. You need to go deal with this issue.” I think talking to the psychologist actually helped me be able to talk to my wife better. She has been super supportive and, I don't know, we have a very loving, happy relationship now.
Interviewee 9:
I've had a couple different relationships that failed because of my situation coming back. But the one I'm in now so far has been great. I came straight out and told her, this is what I'm going through. I've been very open about it. And I know that she understands what I'm going through, and if something happens, she is wiling to point it out rather than get mad with me.
Interviewee 10:
I'm engaged now. I want the best life for me and her. We have two kids. I want the best life for them. If it's a struggle with me every day, then it's going to be a struggle. All I can do is go get the help I need. That way I assure myself the best life that I can have right now, and not only for me but for them as well.
Interviewee 1:
If you take the opportunity to surround yourself with love, with understanding, with the people who really care about you, or people who relate to what it is that you are feeling, then only good can come from that. No one can do this alone.
