Mike spent years keeping his combat-related emotions locked inside—yet depression, anger, and stress kept building up. A hunting trip spent reminiscing with fellow Veterans finally prompted him to reach out for help. See how he overcame the challenges he faced with assistance from VA.
View Video TranscriptMike:
My name is Mike. I served in the United States Army from 1966 to 1969. I lived in a fourth-floor walk-up on Kings Highway in Brooklyn. There was one particular night. The windows are open, it's a hot summer night. You're laying in bed. You're half asleep. And, the lull of a tractor trailer outside at the stoplight was just idling. I guess there was a car stopped in front of him. The driver reached over and gave him a couple of toots with the airhorn. Well, that airhorn was our warning for a rocket attack. I took my wife and rolled off onto the floor. That I believe was one of the first times that I really felt that something is still in my mind that I can't get it out.
I found myself up at our hunting lodge, which I wouldn’t go hunting for a good 15 years. But I found myself up there with a bunch of my friends. A few started talking about combat instances, and that sort of triggered a whole new batch of emotions coming out. I tried to hold those emotions back, tried to hold everything back, but still the thoughts, the dreams of years ago of what had happened in a combat area, all these things start to accumulate on you and almost get the best of you.
I have 3 of the most fantastic children. Truly blessed with 3 fantastic girls. Between them, they’ve given me 2 grandchildren. Two boys that are 2 boys that I never had. They are fantastic. They learned, I guess, a long time ago that if dad’s quiet leave him alone. If dad’s having a good time, we’re all going to have a good time. But just once in a while if he seems to be a little bit depressed, let him sit.
I have a fantastic wife, almost 45 years’ worth. Stuck by me with anger at times. Stuck by me with explosiveness and not just say in the household, but outside too. It was very difficult sometimes dealing with just…I’m not saying road rage or anything like that, but probably those symptoms even in a store. You had to have somebody brush by you like do I really need this in my life? I guess as you get older you get to the point where the heart and mind are still 20 years old, the body is not. Either you’re going to learn how to calm down or you’re not going to be around too long.
What I see from the young people coming back today, sometimes they’re a little on the edgy side. Sometimes they’re not. But take them in because these are our kids. They’re our children. It’s really tough to see them go overseas. You’re happy when they come home, when they come home as whole as possible. Sometimes they’re missing limbs. The body armor is a lot better than what we had, so the survival rate is a lot better. But a lot of times they are coming home and they’re not as whole as they appear. These are the young people that should seek help, should seek counseling, come into a Veteran organization where you’re around people who had the same experiences.
We all have that one common comradery. If a Veteran does need help, a Veteran organization and other Veterans are those that are going to help you get through whatever you need to get through. Even if you think you don’t need help, relax, hang out with another vet. You’ll feel better.
I do go to counseling now. It’s amazing what they can do. Once you get beyond those emotions, you get beyond those emotions and I think it’s a little bit more cope-able to get by in life. It does help at the VA, but the counseling, counseling I think is the number one thing. You’re talking to another Veteran. The counselor that I see, he’s a Veteran. He wasn’t in a combat zone, but somehow, some way, you develop a rapport with him. And this counselor can pretty much help you through those rough edges. Just a few of the questions, I know they get emotional sometimes, but it’s always better just to get it out.
I wish that I would have maybe seen a counselor 40 years ago. And maybe I would have maybe been able to have a more fulfilling life in some respects. But I’m a strong believer in it’s never too late.
No matter what you may be experiencing, there is support for getting your life on a better track. Many, many Veterans have found the strength to reach out and make the connection.
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If you find yourself living with guilt or remorse about a past action or inaction, try to set aside time to think about your feelings. Remember that everyone has things they would have done differently—but no one can change the past or predict the future. Sometimes the experience is worse if you keep your feelings to yourself. Telling someone, like a family member or friend, about your regrets or guilty feelings can be a good first step to overcoming them. Learn more steps you can take on our Guilt page.
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If you are experiencing dizziness, lie down for a few minutes with your head slightly elevated. Lifestyle changes such as drinking more water, getting enough rest, and avoiding alcohol or drugs can help. Medications and medical conditions such as heart disease or ear issues can also cause dizziness; consult a medical provider if you get dizzy on a regular basis. If you suddenly lose function in part of your body (e.g., arm weakness, face drooping, difficulty speaking) along with experiencing vertigo, this can indicate a serious problem, such as a stroke. Call 911 and seek medical help immediately. Learn more steps you can take on our Dizziness page.
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A flashback can be distressing for you and those around you. Try grounding yourself by focusing on details of your surroundings or neutral physical sensations, such as the feeling of your feet on the floor. Call someone you trust and tell them what is happening. Your family, friends, or health care provider may be able to provide support and help you deal with your flashbacks. Learn more steps you can take on our Flashbacks page.
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Learn what triggers episodes of noise or light irritation. Try making adjustments to computer and TV screens, and ensure you get the right amount of sleep. If you're taking medication and want to know if it could be affecting your sensitivity to noise or light, talk to your doctor. Certain drugs or medications may cause vision or hearing problems. Never stop taking a prescription without first consulting a medical professional. Learn more steps you can take on our Noise or Light Irritation page.
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Nightmares
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To manage upsetting feelings after a nightmare, focus on what's real by touching and describing objects around you. If you're unable to sleep within 15 minutes, leave your bed briefly to wash your hands or drink water while avoiding any strenuous activity. Also, talk to your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're experiencing. They may be able to provide support and help you find solutions. Learn more steps you can take on our Nightmares page.
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High-Risk Activities
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What can I do about drinking or drug use?
There are many options for Veterans who want to cut down on or stop drinking alcohol or using drugs. One option is counseling, either one-on-one or in a group. Another involves medication to help reduce use. A third option is mutual-help groups. You can work with your doctor or counselor and try different types of treatment to find the one that's best for you. Learn more steps you can take on our Alcohol or Drug Misuse page.
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Gambling
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If I’m experiencing a gambling problem, what can I do about it right away?
The first step in addressing your challenges is to acknowledge that gambling has become a problem in your life and recognize that it is possible to make a change. Practice relaxation exercises such as deep breathing to manage stress and urges to gamble. Spend time with supportive people who do not gamble, and talk with your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're experiencing. They may be able to provide support and help you find solutions that are right for you. Learn more steps you can take on our Gambling page.
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Reckless Behavior
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What can I do if I’ve noticed myself engaging in reckless behavior?
There are ways to prevent yourself from engaging in risky behavior. Plan to avoid situations that might lead to recklessness. For example, leave early or late to avoid rush-hour traffic, or arrange a ride home if you'll be drinking. Talking with your family members, close friends, or a health care provider may help you find support and resources to address your challenges. Learn more steps you can take on our Reckless Behavior page.
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