Adjusting to civilian life after time in Iraq was difficult for Tim, who felt he just didn't fit in anymore. After secluding himself for a year, battling depression, and attempting to end his own life, he decided he didn't have to live that way. VA provided the tools to help Tim address his problems and turn his life around.
View Video TranscriptTim:
I was in the United States Army. I was a PFC when I left and I served in OIF from '05 to '06. I was 24, I had a kid, and I was newly married and I felt like it was the right time to try to man up and doing something good with my life.
When I came home things had changed. Things had changed in my relationship with my wife. I was not the same person. I felt like I didn’t fit in anymore. It was like they wanted us to have a light switch. You go over there, you’re supposed to be this one person, and then when you step off the plane you’re supposed to turn that light switch off and be the person you were before you left. It was nearly impossible.
There were times when you’re just driving down the road and all of the sudden you see something in the broken up patch of road and then, it does send you back. It puts you right back in the Humvee and everything else. You wake up with nightmares. Sometimes you couldn’t even sleep. Loud noises would scare you. You know, the thoughts were running rampant and it got the best of me at times.
When I came home everybody was a stranger. I could not talk to many people. I secluded myself for nearly a year where I never went out of the house, I never dealt with anything, and I tried to stay away. My family would tell me constantly that I needed help. I spent several times in the hospital with suicidal attempts and stuff like that. It just took one day for me to say, “You know what, I need the help and I’m tired of living like this.”
I had started going to the VA before and then as things started going downhill for me I decided at that time that I didn’t want to go anymore. That was when I got into that year of depression and when I decided to pull myself out, I went to the VA and I said “I want help and I want help in any avenue I can get it.” We ran a lot of tests, we tried to figure out exactly what was going on with me and we enrolled into a very important program, the DBT program, and it has helped me tremendously.
They give us the tools to actually combat the feelings we have. I have been in it since November. Since November I have basically done a 180. You know, that’s the coolest thing about this group. When you’re in there, if another Veteran is talking about something, nine times out of ten the other Veterans in the room are shaking their head like they know what they’re going through.
There’s a bond there. We will always be brothers or sisters, but there’s a bond there especially when you’re going through the low times as well, knowing somebody is there with you. That’s the greatest feeling in the world. To know that you’re not alone, that they’re not alone. You’re all in this together.
No matter what you may be experiencing, there is support for getting your life on a better track. Many, many Veterans have found the strength to reach out and make the connection.
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Learn what triggers episodes of noise or light irritation. Try making adjustments to computer and TV screens, and ensure you get the right amount of sleep. If you're taking medication and want to know if it could be affecting your sensitivity to noise or light, talk to your doctor. Certain drugs or medications may cause vision or hearing problems. Never stop taking a prescription without first consulting a medical professional. Learn more steps you can take on our Noise or Light Irritation page.
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To manage upsetting feelings after a nightmare, focus on what's real by touching and describing objects around you. If you're unable to sleep within 15 minutes, leave your bed briefly to wash your hands or drink water while avoiding any strenuous activity. Also, talk to your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're experiencing. They may be able to provide support and help you find solutions. Learn more steps you can take on our Nightmares page.
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What can I do about drinking or drug use?
There are many options for Veterans who want to cut down on or stop drinking alcohol or using drugs. One option is counseling, either one-on-one or in a group. Another involves medication to help reduce use. A third option is mutual-help groups. You can work with your doctor or counselor and try different types of treatment to find the one that's best for you. Learn more steps you can take on our Alcohol or Drug Misuse page.
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Gambling
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If I’m experiencing a gambling problem, what can I do about it right away?
The first step in addressing your challenges is to acknowledge that gambling has become a problem in your life and recognize that it is possible to make a change. Practice relaxation exercises such as deep breathing to manage stress and urges to gamble. Spend time with supportive people who do not gamble, and talk with your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're experiencing. They may be able to provide support and help you find solutions that are right for you. Learn more steps you can take on our Gambling page.
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Reckless Behavior
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What can I do if I’ve noticed myself engaging in reckless behavior?
There are ways to prevent yourself from engaging in risky behavior. Plan to avoid situations that might lead to recklessness. For example, leave early or late to avoid rush-hour traffic, or arrange a ride home if you'll be drinking. Talking with your family members, close friends, or a health care provider may help you find support and resources to address your challenges. Learn more steps you can take on our Reckless Behavior page.
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