Chrissy talks about the road to recovery for her husband, Stan, who lost a leg while serving in Iraq. It wasn't always easy as they worked through a long recovery, pain, and emotional stress. But, through counseling and their love for one another, Chrissy and Stan worked to overcome his depression and found ways to keep their family strong.
View Video TranscriptChrissy:
I'm a Marine Corps wife whose husband lost his leg in Iraq on June 6, 2007. I thought he was on patrol but I got a call and it didn't really zone into anything other than “How would you feel if I came home missing a limb, and I would not be mad at you if you did not want to stay with me.” And I was like, “You're—what's going on, you know, no, of course I'd stay with you, you know, I didn't—you know, your leg does not make you...my, you know, soon to be husband,” because we were engaged, and then I talked with another guy who said they'd be in contact with me to let me know the details. I have medical training, but it still didn't prepare me. He was not himself, he was on heavy narcotics and his spirits were down, you know, but I could tell when I came in the room his spirits were up again, and it was a good visit, and everybody was welcoming and it was just good to be by his side finally.
We were at Walter Reed for almost two years. He went through extensive therapy where I would see him screaming or crying and he would just be like “Just push harder, just push harder,” you know? And it was a lot because you really have to push those muscles in order to gain even 2% back, use. It was really hard, because my husband’s a Marine and to be able to take those physical things that he can’t do, he was not ready to admit that, so it was very important for the medical care, whoever’s beside the person, it I found out was so important for them to be able to know when to push, know when to back off.
He had some mood swings. He would just be miserable; he would not want to get out of bed until four o’clock in the evening. He would wake up and he would just be sweating, and he would be, like, at first he wouldn’t—I think he had more nightmares than what I know, but the ones that I know about he would just wake up and he would just not know where he was, and then sooner or later once he got into the counseling and he started, you know, he thought he was doing it for me, he started realizing that he needed some of it, and it was just a process. It’s like losing someone in your family. He lost his leg, you know? The man he came back is not the same man that went, you know, and so he had to relearn how to live in that man’s body.
I knew he had a problem and I knew that he was depressed, but I knew how I would handle it, but soldiers coming back from war are so different, and so that therapist knew how to talk to him. He started seeing that it’s okay, you know, “I can do this, I can talk with someone who knows what’s going on and it’s not bad to talk about it,” you know, and so that’s what he got from it.
I’d say it took him about a year to get out of the woods totally. He still has—he just started working, which was a big thing for him because he needed it. He needed some type of being. When they’re in the military they have a purpose, they have a job, you know, he didn’t have that anymore, and so he needed that. There are going to be good days, there are going to be bad days, and they’re just days. If I can help anyone to know that you can make it, you know, you can fight this and it’s a long fight, you know, but it’s worth fighting.
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If you are experiencing dizziness, lie down for a few minutes with your head slightly elevated. Lifestyle changes such as drinking more water, getting enough rest, and avoiding alcohol or drugs can help. Medications and medical conditions such as heart disease or ear issues can also cause dizziness; consult a medical provider if you get dizzy on a regular basis. If you suddenly lose function in part of your body (e.g., arm weakness, face drooping, difficulty speaking) along with experiencing vertigo, this can indicate a serious problem, such as a stroke. Call 911 and seek medical help immediately. Learn more steps you can take on our Dizziness page.
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Learn what triggers episodes of noise or light irritation. Try making adjustments to computer and TV screens, and ensure you get the right amount of sleep. If you're taking medication and want to know if it could be affecting your sensitivity to noise or light, talk to your doctor. Certain drugs or medications may cause vision or hearing problems. Never stop taking a prescription without first consulting a medical professional. Learn more steps you can take on our Noise or Light Irritation page.
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Nightmares
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To manage upsetting feelings after a nightmare, focus on what's real by touching and describing objects around you. If you're unable to sleep within 15 minutes, leave your bed briefly to wash your hands or drink water while avoiding any strenuous activity. Also, talk to your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're experiencing. They may be able to provide support and help you find solutions. Learn more steps you can take on our Nightmares page.
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There are many options for Veterans who want to cut down on or stop drinking alcohol or using drugs. One option is counseling, either one-on-one or in a group. Another involves medication to help reduce use. A third option is mutual-help groups. You can work with your doctor or counselor and try different types of treatment to find the one that's best for you. Learn more steps you can take on our Alcohol or Drug Misuse page.
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If I’m experiencing a gambling problem, what can I do about it right away?
The first step in addressing your challenges is to acknowledge that gambling has become a problem in your life and recognize that it is possible to make a change. Practice relaxation exercises such as deep breathing to manage stress and urges to gamble. Spend time with supportive people who do not gamble, and talk with your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're experiencing. They may be able to provide support and help you find solutions that are right for you. Learn more steps you can take on our Gambling page.
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Reckless Behavior
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What can I do if I’ve noticed myself engaging in reckless behavior?
There are ways to prevent yourself from engaging in risky behavior. Plan to avoid situations that might lead to recklessness. For example, leave early or late to avoid rush-hour traffic, or arrange a ride home if you'll be drinking. Talking with your family members, close friends, or a health care provider may help you find support and resources to address your challenges. Learn more steps you can take on our Reckless Behavior page.
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