Justin was severely wounded in Iraq and sent home, even though he wanted to rejoin his unit. During his long recovery, Justin had issues with anger and trouble in crowds. He didn't understand what was happening to him, so he visited VA counselors. They helped him learn to cope with survivor guilt, PTSD, and physical injury in a healthy manner.
View Video TranscriptJustin:
My name is Justin. I'm still in the Marine Corp Reserve. I am a Major in the Reserves. I deployed to Iraq in the summer and fall of 2006 and I was injured on October 18, 2006. I was shot at by a sniper. We had been a convoy and we got out, we were on just a routine combat patrol and trying to - we knew there was a sniper in the area and we were just surveying the area, and he shot me behind my left ear. I went down immediately, in fact other Marines around me thought I was dead. I'm only here because a young Navy Corps man showed amazing courage under fire and saved my life. I woke up a couple weeks later in a hospital because of that.
Once I realized where I was I had incredible survivor guilt because I was a team leader, I was responsible for eight Marines, a small team. I felt terrible I was back in America and they were there in Iraq. I know it is odd, survivor’s guilt is a weird phenomenon. Frankly, of course my friends, they just finally got me there. They were able to do everything they needed to do. They probably felt worse about me being injured than I did. I just wanted to get back there and be with them back in Iraq.
The recovery has been a long time effort. I have had, I don’t know, somewhere between 20 and 25 surgeries although we were very fortunate in my recovery and all of that. Still, it is not like I didn’t have dark days and didn’t have issues. I would over-react to things. I, like many other Veterans, still don’t like being in crowds, I still don’t like loud noises, 4th of July is out of the question, stuff like that.
But on a more personal level I had a much shorter temper, I would get angry quicker and say a lot of things that normally I wouldn’t say and don’t say anymore, but pretty mean. The signs were definitely there. If I was just driving in a car and something would trigger a memory maybe I would start crying or I would feel emotional and I just didn’t understand why that was going on. I thought, that was 5 years ago, that was 4 years ago, why am I still feeling this way. I consider myself well educated, I have plenty of education but still I didn’t understand why my body was doing this. I want to get an understanding of what was going on just so on a daily basis if I encountered that I would know how to deal with it.
I was also looking to identify triggers and some techniques I could use when I can feel that happening inside me as well as I needed a good outlet for these things so my body could deal with them in a healthy manner instead of keeping them bottled up inside.
I do have a rating of posttraumatic stress disorder. I was diagnosed pretty early on when I first had my VA conversation analysis. That was probably within a year of being injured we knew, maybe even within six months. Since then I have gone to a fair amount of counseling and I am currently in counseling now even though it has been over 5 years. It is very helpful. I thought this is crazy not to take advantage and get free counseling and help fix myself. Now I go every two weeks.
I truly believe that asking for help is a sign of strength not weakness because it is easy not to ask for help. It is easy to self-medicate, but it is hard in our society which kind of teaches us especially in the military to keep quiet about your weakness. You don’t want to scout on yourself. I consider it a sign of strength and I was proud of myself for doing that. I am proud of every returning Veteran or service member who goes and asks for that help. I know it is a tough first step but you owe it to yourself and your family to do that.
No matter what you may be experiencing, there is support for getting your life on a better track. Many, many Veterans have found the strength to reach out and make the connection.
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Learn what triggers episodes of noise or light irritation. Try making adjustments to computer and TV screens, and ensure you get the right amount of sleep. If you're taking medication and want to know if it could be affecting your sensitivity to noise or light, talk to your doctor. Certain drugs or medications may cause vision or hearing problems. Never stop taking a prescription without first consulting a medical professional. Learn more steps you can take on our Noise or Light Irritation page.
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To manage upsetting feelings after a nightmare, focus on what's real by touching and describing objects around you. If you're unable to sleep within 15 minutes, leave your bed briefly to wash your hands or drink water while avoiding any strenuous activity. Also, talk to your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're experiencing. They may be able to provide support and help you find solutions. Learn more steps you can take on our Nightmares page.
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There are many options for Veterans who want to cut down on or stop drinking alcohol or using drugs. One option is counseling, either one-on-one or in a group. Another involves medication to help reduce use. A third option is mutual-help groups. You can work with your doctor or counselor and try different types of treatment to find the one that's best for you. Learn more steps you can take on our Alcohol or Drug Misuse page.
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The first step in addressing your challenges is to acknowledge that gambling has become a problem in your life and recognize that it is possible to make a change. Practice relaxation exercises such as deep breathing to manage stress and urges to gamble. Spend time with supportive people who do not gamble, and talk with your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're experiencing. They may be able to provide support and help you find solutions that are right for you. Learn more steps you can take on our Gambling page.
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Reckless Behavior
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There are ways to prevent yourself from engaging in risky behavior. Plan to avoid situations that might lead to recklessness. For example, leave early or late to avoid rush-hour traffic, or arrange a ride home if you'll be drinking. Talking with your family members, close friends, or a health care provider may help you find support and resources to address your challenges. Learn more steps you can take on our Reckless Behavior page.
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