An IED blast hit Owen’s vehicle so hard that his head crashed against a hatch. Diagnosed with a traumatic brain injury, he became angry and frustrated, because it was harder for him to do some of the things he used to easily do. Once he connected with VA, he found that many of his difficulties – and his anger – could be overcome.
View Video TranscriptOwen:
I'm Owen. This November will be 22 years in the military with the U.S. Army. Where I've been... I've been to the Gulf War, been to Panama, been to Afghanistan, been to Iraq.
My tour in Afghanistan, where I got wounded, that affected my mental health. My vehicle was hit by an IED. I was launched from my seat into the ceiling of the vehicle and I broke open a three-quarter inch steel hatch with my hat, well I had my helmet on. I was knocked unconscious, didn’t really…. I don’t remember the blast, don’t remember a lot of anything, and honestly, I never knew anything was wrong with me until I actually came home.
I’d say the biggest thing that I had to deal with was frustration. I couldn’t speak right. I didn't know why. I couldn’t communicate well. I didn’t know why. Everything seemed out of place. Even though military life is a little chaotic at times, it’s structured, you know, for a reason. You know what you’re gonna do every single day. And when I came home to my wife and my three kids, which is complete chaos and anarchy, you know, I couldn’t function very well.
What I didn’t know, you know, when I couldn’t speak very well is because I have a traumatic brain injury that affects my speech. I couldn’t communicate well because I have attention deficit due to my brain injury. I have balance problems due to my brain injury, memory due to my brain injury. And, you know, overseas they… “Hey, he’s fine.” You know, of course I am fine because I know what I’m going to be doin, but when I come home it is completely different. And it wasn’t until a friend of mine, who happens to be a Veteran Affairs Service Officer, he goes, “You know, maybe you should go get it checked out.” And was l like, “Oh, what do you mean?” “Go ask them to see if you have a TBI.” I was like, “What’s a TBI?” And he told me and sure enough, I go to the VA here in Minneapolis and, yup, I got one.
One of the biggest things I felt was frustration with myself because I’m normally very in control of myself and with my brain injury, I just couldn’t speak right, I couldn’t act right and it was something I couldn’t control, so I‘d get frustrated with myself and get angry with myself. And whenever my wife would try to help me, I would get angry at her because she was trying to help me. And my kids… you know, the first couple of years was kinda scary for ‘em because they wouldn’t know what would make me angry and what wouldn’t. The best example, my son spilled a cup of water, I didn’t say anything to him, I just cleaned it up. My daughter spilled a cup of water and I totally freaked out on her. That’s part of the brain injury that, you know, is frustrating because you don’t know what it affects and what it doesn’t affect, when it’s gonna affect, when it’s not gonna affect, things like that.
When I got to the VA, you know, I got assigned a general physician and I explained to them what I was going through and then they just started lining me up with the right clinics and I got lined up with the Polytrauma Unit, which means multiple injuries basically. It was there that they diagnosed my TBI. They zeroed in on what exactly is affected. They gave me the right meds to deal with the problems. You know, I started speaking more clearly. I became less frustrated, less angry. And then at the same time, I got to speak to somebody, you know, every month if I want to or more. And talking the problems out probably helped more than anything else.
I was your typical, you know, solider where if I say I got a problem that’s a sign of weakness, you know. I, you know, the big strong Paratrooper type where, you know, if I admit I have a mental problem then they’re going to kick me out. It was like an attack on my manhood if you will. You know, back then I took it serious, now it’s just kinda silly. But, you know, talking to my doctor helps. You know, she’ll ask me what’s going on, I tell her. You know, she’ll pick out either key phrases or something, she’ll start to talk about that, and then I’ll talk, you know, about what she talked about, and you know, by the end of the hour it’s just, Oh, okay.” You kinda understand what you’re going through, and you’re able to deal with the situation when it arises again, because it will arise again. Just talking to her has helped me learn how to deal with a lot of the problems I have, cope with a lot of the problems I have. Some of the things I can’t change, a lot of the behavioral things I can change, and it’s helped me a tremendous deal.
It has been my experience as a Soldier, as a leader of Soldiers, as a member of the Law Enforcement community, as a Veteran, the number one trick, the number one drug, the number one therapy, the number one thing that gets people away from suicide, away from divorce, away from, you know, criminal behavior, away from all the bad stuff is talking to somebody. The VA has untold amount of, you know, number of services and people and all they want to do is help you. It took a lot of swallowing of my pride to go talk to somebody and I did, and I’m better for it.
No matter what you may be experiencing, there is support for getting your life on a better track. Many, many Veterans have found the strength to reach out and make the connection.
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If you find yourself living with guilt or remorse about a past action or inaction, try to set aside time to think about your feelings. Remember that everyone has things they would have done differently—but no one can change the past or predict the future. Sometimes the experience is worse if you keep your feelings to yourself. Telling someone, like a family member or friend, about your regrets or guilty feelings can be a good first step to overcoming them. Learn more steps you can take on our Guilt page.
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If you are experiencing confusion, try to slow down and focus on the task at hand. Take regular breaks to avoid feeling tired and overwhelmed. Avoid drinking alcohol, which can make confusion worse. Talk to your health care provider to determine whether a medical condition such as TBI might be contributing to the problem. You can also talk to a pharmacist about the possible effects of medications you're taking. Learn more steps you can take on our Confusion page.
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If you are experiencing difficulty concentrating, avoid distractions like loud music or the television. Develop a routine and try to stick to a regular schedule. Additionally, take regular breaks to prevent feeling tired. Talk to your health care provider to determine whether a condition such as TBI, ADHD, or anxiety might be contributing to the problem. You can also talk to a pharmacist about the possible effects of medications you're taking. Learn more steps you can take on our Difficulty Concentrating page.
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If you are experiencing dizziness, lie down for a few minutes with your head slightly elevated. Lifestyle changes such as drinking more water, getting enough rest, and avoiding alcohol or drugs can help. Medications and medical conditions such as heart disease or ear issues can also cause dizziness; consult a medical provider if you get dizzy on a regular basis. If you suddenly lose function in part of your body (e.g., arm weakness, face drooping, difficulty speaking) along with experiencing vertigo, this can indicate a serious problem, such as a stroke. Call 911 and seek medical help immediately. Learn more steps you can take on our Dizziness page.
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A flashback can be distressing for you and those around you. Try grounding yourself by focusing on details of your surroundings or neutral physical sensations, such as the feeling of your feet on the floor. Call someone you trust and tell them what is happening. Your family, friends, or health care provider may be able to provide support and help you deal with your flashbacks. Learn more steps you can take on our Flashbacks page.
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Noise or Light Irritation
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Learn what triggers episodes of noise or light irritation. Try making adjustments to computer and TV screens, and ensure you get the right amount of sleep. If you're taking medication and want to know if it could be affecting your sensitivity to noise or light, talk to your doctor. Certain drugs or medications may cause vision or hearing problems. Never stop taking a prescription without first consulting a medical professional. Learn more steps you can take on our Noise or Light Irritation page.
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Nightmares
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To manage upsetting feelings after a nightmare, focus on what's real by touching and describing objects around you. If you're unable to sleep within 15 minutes, leave your bed briefly to wash your hands or drink water while avoiding any strenuous activity. Also, talk to your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're experiencing. They may be able to provide support and help you find solutions. Learn more steps you can take on our Nightmares page.
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High-Risk Activities
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What can I do about drinking or drug use?
There are many options for Veterans who want to cut down on or stop drinking alcohol or using drugs. One option is counseling, either one-on-one or in a group. Another involves medication to help reduce use. A third option is mutual-help groups. You can work with your doctor or counselor and try different types of treatment to find the one that's best for you. Learn more steps you can take on our Alcohol or Drug Misuse page.
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Gambling
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Video Title: Brenda found the support she needed to live well
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If I’m experiencing a gambling problem, what can I do about it right away?
The first step in addressing your challenges is to acknowledge that gambling has become a problem in your life and recognize that it is possible to make a change. Practice relaxation exercises such as deep breathing to manage stress and urges to gamble. Spend time with supportive people who do not gamble, and talk with your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're experiencing. They may be able to provide support and help you find solutions that are right for you. Learn more steps you can take on our Gambling page.
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Reckless Behavior
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What can I do if I’ve noticed myself engaging in reckless behavior?
There are ways to prevent yourself from engaging in risky behavior. Plan to avoid situations that might lead to recklessness. For example, leave early or late to avoid rush-hour traffic, or arrange a ride home if you'll be drinking. Talking with your family members, close friends, or a health care provider may help you find support and resources to address your challenges. Learn more steps you can take on our Reckless Behavior page.
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