Bill came back from his tour in Vietnam and immersed himself in his work, which kept him from thinking about the things he had seen. Alcohol and feelings of intense anger began to take a toll on his life. Following one episode of overwhelming anger, Bill went to the Vet Center, opened up to a professional and received the care he needed.
View Video TranscriptBill:
My names Bill. I'm now retired, but I went to Vietnam in 1970, stayed there 70 through 71, was with the First Calvary Division. I was a field soldier. I was 11 Bravo, so we were everywhere. It was rough so you did whatever you had to do to cope with whatever it is that you need to deal with every day, day in and day out. Sometimes you would drink too much, the other thing is I would always smoke way too much. I used to work 14, 15 hours a day just to keep my mind busy and I went about 25 years doing the same thing over and over and over again. Getting fired from this job, fired from that job, you know getting, letting my temper get the best of me and my wife left me. I mean, things were going downhill fast. We had gone over the deep edge somewhere, didn't know that there was anything wrong. It took a lot of years to finally realize it.
You hear different triggers from different people. I mean, people will tell me, yeah, the helicopter makes me really scared, well to me a helicopter meant they're bringing me something, they're bringing me food, they're bringing me ammunition, they're coming to get me. It was always good. Claustrophobia on the other hand, I still have it. I was a tunnel rat to boot, so I can't take it, big large crowds, I just can't do it. I'm very conscious of exactly where I am in a room, what's around me. I know who's moving, who's not moving. I know everything that’s going on around me. It was actually my third company that I had opened, and things have gone pretty good and then something really, really terrible happened. I was really, I wasn't suicidal I was homicidal. I was really, really upset with some people and that was when I finally went down to the Denver Vet Center and said, "I need some help."
First, she started seeing me every week, and then she got me into a psychiatrist to get me some meds and suddenly I was able to sleep, and I was able to think again. She ended up sending me down to the VA, and to the PTSD Clinic which was a 7-week in-hospital program, and that was like night and day for me. It just, it just brought my whole world together. It made me deal with some things that I obviously hadn't dealt with in 25 years and it had come out okay, and knowing that there was so many other guys there that were the same was the biggest thing that there was because now you know you're not the only one.
The big thing is I'm happy with who I am now, where I wasn't, I wasn't happy with who I was. I believe I'm much calmer now, just better, I'm just better, I’m just better, I feel better. I feel good about who I am.
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To manage upsetting feelings after a nightmare, focus on what's real by touching and describing objects around you. If you're unable to sleep within 15 minutes, leave your bed briefly to wash your hands or drink water while avoiding any strenuous activity. Also, talk to your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're experiencing. They may be able to provide support and help you find solutions. Learn more steps you can take on our Nightmares page.
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The first step in addressing your challenges is to acknowledge that gambling has become a problem in your life and recognize that it is possible to make a change. Practice relaxation exercises such as deep breathing to manage stress and urges to gamble. Spend time with supportive people who do not gamble, and talk with your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're experiencing. They may be able to provide support and help you find solutions that are right for you. Learn more steps you can take on our Gambling page.
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There are ways to prevent yourself from engaging in risky behavior. Plan to avoid situations that might lead to recklessness. For example, leave early or late to avoid rush-hour traffic, or arrange a ride home if you'll be drinking. Talking with your family members, close friends, or a health care provider may help you find support and resources to address your challenges. Learn more steps you can take on our Reckless Behavior page.
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