Marty had a challenging time when he returned home from his first two deployments. He had a good job, but his life felt empty. He was unmotivated and his relationships were strained. A church leader recommended he talk to a psychiatrist, who helped him understand what he was experiencing. After a third tour, he went to a VA counselor, who was a big help.
View Video TranscriptMarty:
My name is Marty. I served in the Army Reserve. I deployed to Afghanistan from 2002-2003. I deployed to Iraq from 2004-2005, and I deployed to Iraq a second time from 2007-2008. I felt proud that I was able to step up and do my job. My father had been in the military, my grandfather, and I felt like this is my time. This is my turn to watch the line.
Coming home was a little weird. I had a chance to jump on a flight before the rest of my detachment. And so, I came home by myself. I was back here in Virginia, and it’s a strange feeling. I almost don’t know how to describe it, and I struggled. I did not do real well. I felt like I didn’t fit in with most of the people. My experiences in Afghanistan were completely different than anything any of my classmates had gone through. My grades were failing. So, I worked out with my Reserve Unit. I asked if I could volunteer to go to Iraq, and I thought well, that seemed to be the only place that made sense to me. That coming back was much rougher even than my first tour. I found a job as an Electrician based off my military training. I would go to work. I didn’t feel like my job was important. I seemed to have every thing that you should have by the time you’re in your mid 20s, a decent career, a good girlfriend, had my own car, I was working, definitely working to buy a house, and it felt empty. I would wake up. It was hard for me to want to go to work. It was hard, I was moody. I was always angry. It was a pretty rough time. My relationship with my parents went into the sewer. I had done two tours, and I felt guilty for not having done more. I felt that nothing was ever going to be better. That I was always going to feel this way.
One day, I just sort of woke up. I was like, “I don’t have to feel like this.” And so, I started going back to church. I talked with the Bishop at my church, and we started working through a few things, and he suggested I go see somebody. He was a Psychiatrist that went to the same church I did. He helped bring some religious end of it, which brought me some healing I felt. And then, he was able to explain some of the brain chemistry behind why I was feeling and some of the way my brain was working as to what I was experiencing when and what I was feeling.
And so, the third tour, we went, we were part of the Surge in Iraq, and we happened to be in Southwest Baghdad, and even though that I had learned a lot of coping strategies from the Psychiatrist that I went to before, I found that I was having more difficulty using those coping strategies. This time, I went to the VA for counseling, and that has helped. I was in that therapy for about a year, nearly a year, and it helped me with a lot of the coping skills. I feel much better. I can deal with my emotions now. They don’t control every day, I can control what I do that day. My emotions don’t control me anymore, and that brings a huge amount of piece of mind, and hopefully the more of us that speak out about this, the more people will get help.
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If you are experiencing dizziness, lie down for a few minutes with your head slightly elevated. Lifestyle changes such as drinking more water, getting enough rest, and avoiding alcohol or drugs can help. Medications and medical conditions such as heart disease or ear issues can also cause dizziness; consult a medical provider if you get dizzy on a regular basis. If you suddenly lose function in part of your body (e.g., arm weakness, face drooping, difficulty speaking) along with experiencing vertigo, this can indicate a serious problem, such as a stroke. Call 911 and seek medical help immediately. Learn more steps you can take on our Dizziness page.
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Learn what triggers episodes of noise or light irritation. Try making adjustments to computer and TV screens, and ensure you get the right amount of sleep. If you're taking medication and want to know if it could be affecting your sensitivity to noise or light, talk to your doctor. Certain drugs or medications may cause vision or hearing problems. Never stop taking a prescription without first consulting a medical professional. Learn more steps you can take on our Noise or Light Irritation page.
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To manage upsetting feelings after a nightmare, focus on what's real by touching and describing objects around you. If you're unable to sleep within 15 minutes, leave your bed briefly to wash your hands or drink water while avoiding any strenuous activity. Also, talk to your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're experiencing. They may be able to provide support and help you find solutions. Learn more steps you can take on our Nightmares page.
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There are many options for Veterans who want to cut down on or stop drinking alcohol or using drugs. One option is counseling, either one-on-one or in a group. Another involves medication to help reduce use. A third option is mutual-help groups. You can work with your doctor or counselor and try different types of treatment to find the one that's best for you. Learn more steps you can take on our Alcohol or Drug Misuse page.
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The first step in addressing your challenges is to acknowledge that gambling has become a problem in your life and recognize that it is possible to make a change. Practice relaxation exercises such as deep breathing to manage stress and urges to gamble. Spend time with supportive people who do not gamble, and talk with your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're experiencing. They may be able to provide support and help you find solutions that are right for you. Learn more steps you can take on our Gambling page.
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Reckless Behavior
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There are ways to prevent yourself from engaging in risky behavior. Plan to avoid situations that might lead to recklessness. For example, leave early or late to avoid rush-hour traffic, or arrange a ride home if you'll be drinking. Talking with your family members, close friends, or a health care provider may help you find support and resources to address your challenges. Learn more steps you can take on our Reckless Behavior page.
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