Nicole’s husband narrowly missed death in an attack on his vehicle. Although he provided emergency medical care to his wounded comrades, he still thought that he should have been the one who was hit. Nicole talks about the guilt her husband feels and how she is helping him to move beyond it by living with purpose.
View Video TranscriptNicole:
The one I think that haunts him the most is when he got injured, he was getting ready to go out into a convoy, and he usually rode the same place all the time. And in this particular time, he just decided he didn't want to ride there. He chose another vehicle and the convoy was attacked, and the seat that he would have been in was totally obliterated.
The vehicle that he was in, the gunner’s turret, received a mortar round and his gunner was burned pretty badly. He was sprayed with shrapnel and everything, and being that he was married to a medic, he’s a combat lifesaver. You know? He did his thing and I’m surprised because he hates blood… like really hates blood, but he did it. He’s like, “I was taking care of people,” and he didn’t even realize he was injured until he had gotten back to the aid station with the guys who were really severely burned.
And that just kind of is with him. He has survivor’s guilt that has really impacted our life and our marriage a lot. For us, it’s just… it’s a constant battle to remind him that you are here for a reason. Whatever, you know, power you believe in, you’re here and so it’s in vain if you don’t live. But it’s very hard for him to do that.
He's very quiet, very withdrawn, and it kind of hurts sometimes because you don’t know if it’s… Okay, is he not enjoying us or the family or what? I don’t know, it’s so much sadness inside of him.
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There are ways to prevent yourself from engaging in risky behavior. Plan to avoid situations that might lead to recklessness. For example, leave early or late to avoid rush-hour traffic, or arrange a ride home if you'll be drinking. Talking with your family members, close friends, or a health care provider may help you find support and resources to address your challenges. Learn more steps you can take on our Reckless Behavior page.
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