Lisa's husband, Jeffrey, came back from deployment with PTSD and depression. She learned to recognize signs that he was having a tough time, and discovered ways she could help him. Reflecting on her father's experiences after the Korean War, Lisa is thankful her husband is getting support right away and improving his life.
View Video TranscriptLisa:
My name is Lisa; my husband Jeffrey served in Iraq. Living with someone who has PTSD I've had to learn to not take things personally. I've had to learn to try to identify things that would trigger anger or depression in him. One of the things I've tried to do is be prepared. For example, I know that certain times of the year he's going to be more sensitive than others. Certain times of the year he's going to be more depressed than others. So, I try to prepare myself more for those times of the year. When I notice him starting to get into a depressed state, I try to refocus him. The signs are there it's just a matter of noticing them. A lot of people say, “The person who left is not the person who comes back.” And in a lot of cases that I've seen with friends of ours the response was to split up or to just say, “I just can't take this anymore.” And leave.
Even the people who say, “I’m okay, I’m fine, I’m fine, I’m fine.” Behind the scenes they’re not and that’s when it takes somebody to say, “You need help; you have to get help. We’ll get help together.” Everybody has changed it’s just a matter that not all people admit to being different. My dad is a Korean war Vet and, in his era, soldiers never talked about what they went through. Does it mean they didn’t go through anything? Absolutely not but it was just you keep it to yourself and you never speak about it.
Now, do I think he carries with him everything that he went through? Definitely and when I see it in my husband, I see that there’s a lot that he’s been through. Thank God he’s getting the help that he needs but even with the help… The help is not going to erase anything that anybody’s been through. It’s just going to help them deal with what they’ve gone through. Tomorrow will be different; see what tomorrow holds. Hold onto the hope that the good days are coming.
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If you are experiencing confusion, try to slow down and focus on the task at hand. Take regular breaks to avoid feeling tired and overwhelmed. Avoid drinking alcohol, which can make confusion worse. Talk to your health care provider to determine whether a medical condition such as TBI might be contributing to the problem. You can also talk to a pharmacist about the possible effects of medications you're taking. Learn more steps you can take on our Confusion page.
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If you are experiencing dizziness, lie down for a few minutes with your head slightly elevated. Lifestyle changes such as drinking more water, getting enough rest, and avoiding alcohol or drugs can help. Medications and medical conditions such as heart disease or ear issues can also cause dizziness; consult a medical provider if you get dizzy on a regular basis. If you suddenly lose function in part of your body (e.g., arm weakness, face drooping, difficulty speaking) along with experiencing vertigo, this can indicate a serious problem, such as a stroke. Call 911 and seek medical help immediately. Learn more steps you can take on our Dizziness page.
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A flashback can be distressing for you and those around you. Try grounding yourself by focusing on details of your surroundings or neutral physical sensations, such as the feeling of your feet on the floor. Call someone you trust and tell them what is happening. Your family, friends, or health care provider may be able to provide support and help you deal with your flashbacks. Learn more steps you can take on our Flashbacks page.
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Learn what triggers episodes of noise or light irritation. Try making adjustments to computer and TV screens, and ensure you get the right amount of sleep. If you're taking medication and want to know if it could be affecting your sensitivity to noise or light, talk to your doctor. Certain drugs or medications may cause vision or hearing problems. Never stop taking a prescription without first consulting a medical professional. Learn more steps you can take on our Noise or Light Irritation page.
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To manage upsetting feelings after a nightmare, focus on what's real by touching and describing objects around you. If you're unable to sleep within 15 minutes, leave your bed briefly to wash your hands or drink water while avoiding any strenuous activity. Also, talk to your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're experiencing. They may be able to provide support and help you find solutions. Learn more steps you can take on our Nightmares page.
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There are many options for Veterans who want to cut down on or stop drinking alcohol or using drugs. One option is counseling, either one-on-one or in a group. Another involves medication to help reduce use. A third option is mutual-help groups. You can work with your doctor or counselor and try different types of treatment to find the one that's best for you. Learn more steps you can take on our Alcohol or Drug Misuse page.
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The first step in addressing your challenges is to acknowledge that gambling has become a problem in your life and recognize that it is possible to make a change. Practice relaxation exercises such as deep breathing to manage stress and urges to gamble. Spend time with supportive people who do not gamble, and talk with your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're experiencing. They may be able to provide support and help you find solutions that are right for you. Learn more steps you can take on our Gambling page.
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There are ways to prevent yourself from engaging in risky behavior. Plan to avoid situations that might lead to recklessness. For example, leave early or late to avoid rush-hour traffic, or arrange a ride home if you'll be drinking. Talking with your family members, close friends, or a health care provider may help you find support and resources to address your challenges. Learn more steps you can take on our Reckless Behavior page.
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