After Semaj served in Vietnam, he had trouble adjusting to life back home. He used drugs and didn't want to leave his house. A close friend suggested that he go to VA, and he started counseling and group therapy. Support from his wife and others has helped him move forward with his life.
View Video TranscriptSemaj:
My name is Semaj. I served in the Army and I was in Vietnam. I remember it like yesterday. We were walking on this trail. He was, the Sergeant was in back of me and I stopped because the radio strap was cutting into my chest, so I said, “well let me just stop to adjust this.” You can't, the line can't stop. Everything keeps moving, so they passed around me. They kept moving. There was a large explosion, and he stepped on an anti-personnel mine. Which, to date, I was never really a religious person, but at that moment, I knew that there had to be a higher force working, because if I hadn't stopped to adjust the strap, I would have stepped on the mine.
I got home, ironically around, this is crazy, on the 4th of July, which is not the best time to come home, because you’ve got firecrackers and stuff going off. It took me about a month or so, I stayed in the house a lot during that time. A lot of self-medication, vis-à-vis, marijuana, for the guys my age who, that was the drug of choice. I had a difficult time. I had a very difficult time adjusting.
And then I had to report back, because I still had a year of military time to complete. The transition for me from there to coming home and then to being back to assigned to Brooklyn, the drug thing was still prevalent. The marijuana stuff was still prevalent. That was still there as my source of coping.
I was 22 when I got married and my wife was 20, and we were clear after the divorce. We stayed together for three years. We weren’t really connecting. Wife number two, again, it seemed like all of these relationships weaved in and out of drugs and getting high and what-have-you. And she got pregnant, we lost the baby, so that was very traumatic. Then we had another child who survived. For me, having a baby was a sobering event. It was real, this is not like something making up now, this is real.
I had a very close friend of mine who I grew up with, and interestingly enough he became a Veteran’s rep. He said, “you need to look about maybe going to school, going back to school, see if you can get some kind of skills. But more so, you need to look at talking to somebody, talking to somebody at the VA.” Basically, they said “well, you’re definitely dealing with post traumatic stress disorder.” They said, “you need to start coming in and meeting with a Therapist, Psychologist and start getting some help, some counseling, some coaching, some support.”
I would get to what they call a breakthrough, and I would pull away and stop going. And then something would happen, and I’d go back. I started doing groups, I started doing one-on-one counseling, I’m having a pretty good time. I’m saying like OK, I’m making another turn now. On top of that, I got introduced to this woman, wonderful woman by the way, who I’m still married to. She was very, very, very instrumental in supporting me, you and I got into a couple of groups and then got, after going around the block a few times, got re-integrated back into the VA and started going to them on a regular basis.
You can’t do it by yourself, you can’t live in a cave. And I tried that, I really did, I tried to be a loner and let, and just like the world is out there and I’m in here and I’m cool. And that was the self-medication. That’s not going to do it, because then you end up, you go through your whole life and you look back and you say “damn, where did 40 years go? Where did 50 years go, and what do I have to show for my life?” Because I think those Veterans, those Vietnam Veterans could be very helpful to our present young men and women. They need to find a place, a space where they can find some release and move forward in their lives.
No matter what you may be experiencing, there is support for getting your life on a better track. Many, many Veterans have found the strength to reach out and make the connection.
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If you are experiencing dizziness, lie down for a few minutes with your head slightly elevated. Lifestyle changes such as drinking more water, getting enough rest, and avoiding alcohol or drugs can help. Medications and medical conditions such as heart disease or ear issues can also cause dizziness; consult a medical provider if you get dizzy on a regular basis. If you suddenly lose function in part of your body (e.g., arm weakness, face drooping, difficulty speaking) along with experiencing vertigo, this can indicate a serious problem, such as a stroke. Call 911 and seek medical help immediately. Learn more steps you can take on our Dizziness page.
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A flashback can be distressing for you and those around you. Try grounding yourself by focusing on details of your surroundings or neutral physical sensations, such as the feeling of your feet on the floor. Call someone you trust and tell them what is happening. Your family, friends, or health care provider may be able to provide support and help you deal with your flashbacks. Learn more steps you can take on our Flashbacks page.
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Noise or Light Irritation
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Learn what triggers episodes of noise or light irritation. Try making adjustments to computer and TV screens, and ensure you get the right amount of sleep. If you're taking medication and want to know if it could be affecting your sensitivity to noise or light, talk to your doctor. Certain drugs or medications may cause vision or hearing problems. Never stop taking a prescription without first consulting a medical professional. Learn more steps you can take on our Noise or Light Irritation page.
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Nightmares
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To manage upsetting feelings after a nightmare, focus on what's real by touching and describing objects around you. If you're unable to sleep within 15 minutes, leave your bed briefly to wash your hands or drink water while avoiding any strenuous activity. Also, talk to your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're experiencing. They may be able to provide support and help you find solutions. Learn more steps you can take on our Nightmares page.
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High-Risk Activities
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What can I do about drinking or drug use?
There are many options for Veterans who want to cut down on or stop drinking alcohol or using drugs. One option is counseling, either one-on-one or in a group. Another involves medication to help reduce use. A third option is mutual-help groups. You can work with your doctor or counselor and try different types of treatment to find the one that's best for you. Learn more steps you can take on our Alcohol or Drug Misuse page.
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Gambling
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If I’m experiencing a gambling problem, what can I do about it right away?
The first step in addressing your challenges is to acknowledge that gambling has become a problem in your life and recognize that it is possible to make a change. Practice relaxation exercises such as deep breathing to manage stress and urges to gamble. Spend time with supportive people who do not gamble, and talk with your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're experiencing. They may be able to provide support and help you find solutions that are right for you. Learn more steps you can take on our Gambling page.
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Reckless Behavior
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What can I do if I’ve noticed myself engaging in reckless behavior?
There are ways to prevent yourself from engaging in risky behavior. Plan to avoid situations that might lead to recklessness. For example, leave early or late to avoid rush-hour traffic, or arrange a ride home if you'll be drinking. Talking with your family members, close friends, or a health care provider may help you find support and resources to address your challenges. Learn more steps you can take on our Reckless Behavior page.
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