Ian’s spending was becoming a problem

Ian:

I spent money like crazy and I, you know, I--I was so focused on the fact that I just lived through this incredible experience and had come out you know physically unscathed. I just went wild. I was like whatever. I lived through that. Like I deserve this, I deserve spending, you know this money. I deserve, you know, I deserve buying this car; I deserve you know going out and

buying like you know this this nice whatever. And you know life goes on after the army life goes on when you get back from combat; it doesn't stop. I--you know-- I wish I could have the 10 however many thousands of dollars that I blew on you

know on needless things.

You know I wish I could have that back absolutely. I think I woke up one day and realized like you know, [you] need to need to start moving on with my life. And I'd say the fiscal responsibility aspect of it and not drinking so much or where most of my money was going realizing that. Being able to suddenly like have a little bit of money so that I can you know take a vacation or not have to worry at the end of every month is whether or not I can eat or not was nice to say the least. But also, to feel, it was part of the moving on process of like I'm moving from this phase of my life to the next.

Like it was part of me moving on and moving on to the next phase of my life and that's what I look at the whole transition from the military and coming back to being a civilian again was—it was a-- it was a really long moving on process of getting through and working through all of those you know the myriad of issues that we have to deal with. And so I guess realizing that yes I lived through this, this you know incredibly you know awful experience, but I'm still here and so I have to come on with the rest of my life.That was a-- that was a big breakthrough for me was that I still have the rest of my life.