Relating to civilians was a challenge for Schuyler after he got out of the Army. He felt on edge, and sometimes he had trouble managing his frustration. He didn't believe he had PTSD, but he knew something wasn't right. Learning he had a traumatic brain injury led him to VA and Vet Center resources that helped him turn his life around.
View Video TranscriptSchuyler:
My name is Schuyler. I was in the army, active duty, 6 years.
Schuyler:
I think the overall experience of being in a combat zone stays with you forever.
Schuyler:
I think my vehicle got blown up directly, maybe 4 times and then indirectly, a handful of times. So, I think there's like an anxiety that sticks with you about stuff like that.
Schuyler:
Getting out of the military, it's scary, you know? Because you have this whole life that you learned. For me it was six years active duty in an infantry unit and now I have to all of sudden go be a civilian.
Schuyler:
I didn't have any army buddies around, so I didn't have people that I could talk to and hang out with, and I kind of felt alienated from the civilian world because I didn't share anything in common.
Schuyler:
When I got out, I didn't think that I had PTSD, I almost thought PTSD was something that people who couldn't handle the intensity of their job, had. And when I got out, I didn't think that I had any issues or mental health issues that would affect me in the civilian life.
Schuyler:
I found that I was having trouble controlling my emotions sometimes. My anger, my frustrations, it was easier for me to get frustrated and when I did get frustrated, I took it more seriously, as if something serious was going on. If I was running late to a movie, I felt like I was running late to a mission and people's lives were at stake, but that wasn't the reality.
That personality characteristic, that intensity, that drive makes you succeed in the military, but it doesn’t in the civilian world. It alienates you. And I had to back off and let that go, and that was hard. It took a lot of other people coming up to me and telling me “Hey, I think you have PTSD,” or “Hey, I think that you have things going on that you need to talk about or you need help with.” And I said “No, I don’t think I have PTSD” “What could I have PTSD from?” and I was always thinking there has to be some specific event.
I don’t have a constant nightmare where I wake up and I’m reliving a specific situation. I’m not constantly bunkered down in my house behind sandbags, waiting for the invading army to attack. I don’t have any of those things going on. But there is something kind of wrong, you know. I do have this agitation, this anxiety, this hypervigilance from time to time. Maybe something’s not right.
Schuyler:
So, I went down to the VA and they asked me, they said “Have you ever been blown up before?” “Or have you ever been exposed to a blast?” And I said, “Yeah, quite a few times.” And they were like “How many?” And I told them, and they were like, “Wow, well you probably have traumatic brain injury.”
Schuyler:
They helped with my memory and concentration issues and how to regulate my mood and stuff like that, and that was a really productive experience because at one point I felt hopeless. I felt like I'm on the road to not recovering. I'm on the road, I'm on a downward spiral into some abyss of like mental disability. But working with speech pathology and TBI clinic at the VA, I mean they had me turned around quick. And in a few months, I was in school.
Schuyler:
I got to the Boulder Vet Center but there seems to be one located within proximity of every VA hospital. My therapist was an infantry solider. He was deployed to Vietnam twice and speaking with him, working with him, it made me feel comfortable to talk about my stories because I knew they were familiar to him. He knew the same emotions that I knew. He had the same feelings that I had.
Schuyler:
Vet Centers are great because they have this group dynamics aspect where you meet all these other combat Vets and I think that requirement alone creates a little brotherhood that makes me feel comfortable walking into a group. Because I say these guys know what I'm talking about. They know what I know, they've seen what I've seen. If I'm going to open up or feel uncomfortable or be in an awkward situation, it's not going to be awkward because they have those same feelings and any advice they have for me is going to be beneficial and I can take it to heart because it's coming from somebody with the same experiences.
Schuyler:
You're a civilian now and the best way to come to peace with all of that stuff, the best way to come to terms with all your experiences, is to talk about it, is to find other Vets in the community, is to go to a local Vet Center down to the VA and talk about those experiences.
Schuyler:
The first thing I would say to anybody is it's not abnormal, you know. All the issues you're dealing with, you're not alone. You are not the only one. You are not weak.
Schuyler:
And the second thing I would say is go down to the VA. There is no better place to get help for a Veteran than a place that is employed by Veterans, run by Veterans and is designed to work around Veterans.
Schuyler:
I want to be a behavioral and cognitive therapist that works with combat veterans. So, I'd go from Schuyler the high school dropout, to Staff Sergeant to Schuyler the Rugby player to doctor.
Schuyler:
That's a path that I couldn't have even started without the VA. They set you up with the road to success there.
No matter what you may be experiencing, there is support for getting your life on a better track. Many, many Veterans have found the strength to reach out and make the connection.
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If you find yourself living with guilt or remorse about a past action or inaction, try to set aside time to think about your feelings. Remember that everyone has things they would have done differently—but no one can change the past or predict the future. Sometimes the experience is worse if you keep your feelings to yourself. Telling someone, like a family member or friend, about your regrets or guilty feelings can be a good first step to overcoming them. Learn more steps you can take on our Guilt page.
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Allowing social withdrawal or social isolation to continue unchecked will only make your situation more challenging. Consider reaching out to your family members, friends, or health care provider, even though it may be the last thing you feel like doing. Connect with Veterans' groups or participate in clubs or hobbies focused on something you like. Research shows that spending time talking with others improves your mood and has a positive effect on health. Learn more steps you can take on our Social Withdrawal and Isolation page.
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If you are experiencing confusion, try to slow down and focus on the task at hand. Take regular breaks to avoid feeling tired and overwhelmed. Avoid drinking alcohol, which can make confusion worse. Talk to your health care provider to determine whether a medical condition such as TBI might be contributing to the problem. You can also talk to a pharmacist about the possible effects of medications you're taking. Learn more steps you can take on our Confusion page.
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If you are experiencing difficulty concentrating, avoid distractions like loud music or the television. Develop a routine and try to stick to a regular schedule. Additionally, take regular breaks to prevent feeling tired. Talk to your health care provider to determine whether a condition such as TBI, ADHD, or anxiety might be contributing to the problem. You can also talk to a pharmacist about the possible effects of medications you're taking. Learn more steps you can take on our Difficulty Concentrating page.
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If you are experiencing dizziness, lie down for a few minutes with your head slightly elevated. Lifestyle changes such as drinking more water, getting enough rest, and avoiding alcohol or drugs can help. Medications and medical conditions such as heart disease or ear issues can also cause dizziness; consult a medical provider if you get dizzy on a regular basis. If you suddenly lose function in part of your body (e.g., arm weakness, face drooping, difficulty speaking) along with experiencing vertigo, this can indicate a serious problem, such as a stroke. Call 911 and seek medical help immediately. Learn more steps you can take on our Dizziness page.
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Flashbacks
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A flashback can be distressing for you and those around you. Try grounding yourself by focusing on details of your surroundings or neutral physical sensations, such as the feeling of your feet on the floor. Call someone you trust and tell them what is happening. Your family, friends, or health care provider may be able to provide support and help you deal with your flashbacks. Learn more steps you can take on our Flashbacks page.
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Noise or Light Irritation
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If I'm experiencing noise or light irritation, what can I do about it right away?
Learn what triggers episodes of noise or light irritation. Try making adjustments to computer and TV screens, and ensure you get the right amount of sleep. If you're taking medication and want to know if it could be affecting your sensitivity to noise or light, talk to your doctor. Certain drugs or medications may cause vision or hearing problems. Never stop taking a prescription without first consulting a medical professional. Learn more steps you can take on our Noise or Light Irritation page.
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Nightmares
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To manage upsetting feelings after a nightmare, focus on what's real by touching and describing objects around you. If you're unable to sleep within 15 minutes, leave your bed briefly to wash your hands or drink water while avoiding any strenuous activity. Also, talk to your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're experiencing. They may be able to provide support and help you find solutions. Learn more steps you can take on our Nightmares page.
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High-Risk Activities
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What can I do about drinking or drug use?
There are many options for Veterans who want to cut down on or stop drinking alcohol or using drugs. One option is counseling, either one-on-one or in a group. Another involves medication to help reduce use. A third option is mutual-help groups. You can work with your doctor or counselor and try different types of treatment to find the one that's best for you. Learn more steps you can take on our Alcohol or Drug Misuse page.
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Gambling
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If I’m experiencing a gambling problem, what can I do about it right away?
The first step in addressing your challenges is to acknowledge that gambling has become a problem in your life and recognize that it is possible to make a change. Practice relaxation exercises such as deep breathing to manage stress and urges to gamble. Spend time with supportive people who do not gamble, and talk with your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're experiencing. They may be able to provide support and help you find solutions that are right for you. Learn more steps you can take on our Gambling page.
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Reckless Behavior
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What can I do if I’ve noticed myself engaging in reckless behavior?
There are ways to prevent yourself from engaging in risky behavior. Plan to avoid situations that might lead to recklessness. For example, leave early or late to avoid rush-hour traffic, or arrange a ride home if you'll be drinking. Talking with your family members, close friends, or a health care provider may help you find support and resources to address your challenges. Learn more steps you can take on our Reckless Behavior page.
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