Brad survived many explosions while in Iraq, but he didn't realize he had a traumatic brain injury (TBI). Adjusting to life at home was a challenge for him and his family. He felt angry and on edge. His wife, Dani, convinced him to get support. Through VA programs, Brad learned to manage his symptoms.
View Video TranscriptBrad:
My name is Brad. I was in the Army. I was Eleven Bravo infantry. I joined in 1998 and left in 2006. I was in a Stryker Unit 15 infantry before they went to Alaska. I was out of Fort Lewis, Washington, so we were their favorite things to attempt to destroy. I've gone through at least 12 IEDs. How many times was I unconscious? I couldn't tell you. I didn't really recognize that I had a TBI.
I got home and things were different. I come home and before I went to Iraq I wasn’t married. Well, I was married but I didn’t live with my wife. I come home, I’m married, live with my wife, live with my daughter, and now I have a dog and my wife is pregnant. So, that was a fairly quick change. I mean, going from literally absolute balls-to-the-wall destruction to the caring, loving husband and father. I would have problems with my anger. I would just, I tore a screen door off of our on-post housing, and one day I was just really, really pissed off and I was just, I wasn’t handling real well.
Dani:
He was extremely angry, extremely hypervigilant, constantly looking for the dangers in every situation.
Brad:
I get depressed, very depressed. I've had friends kill themselves over depression and what they've done and seen in Iraq, and I really don't want to follow suit but I've come pretty close.
Dani:
So, he all of a sudden was thrown into the civilian world and he was completely lost, didn't know how his skills translated to the real world.
Brad:
It sucked. It absolutely sucked. I've gone through five, six jobs.
Dani:
He would lose a job every three or four months, right when we were about to get insurance benefits, and after about a year and a half of that, I said, “I can't take this. I need more stability. You have got to just work on yourself,” and so he agreed. We were already in the process for disability benefits. One thing that did help him quite a bit is he was in the Voc Rehab Program, and he was going to school and he was having a really difficult time with some of his college classes.
Brad:
Yeah, school was really hard because every class I had new people.
Dani:
And the VA put him through a brain training program, and that program was actually pretty tremendous for him.
Brad:
They helped me with my word recall. Eight months ago I wouldn't be this good with my word recall.
Dani:
He used to have a stutter all the time and that has gone away. He used to do a thing where his eyes darted back and forth really fast when he was trying to have word recall and his brain wasn't getting the word out to his mouth, and that has almost gone away.
Brad:
I do one-on-one counseling. I've done a little bit of marital counseling with the wife.
Dani:
We went to mental health together and he said, I need you to come with me. And so, we went in for counseling services and we went down to the Denver VA and he actually got placed with a pretty amazing counselor, and she saw him individually for a while and he had me go with him until he felt comfortable seeing her alone, and then she also has done some couple's counseling with us.
Brad:
I love my wife and I'm in love with my wife. My wife and kids are the only things that keep me running on that straight arrow.
Dani:
He was learning a lot of skills that he didn't have before. He was learning a lot of different ways to deal with living in a family, basically. It's all about communication and the way that you deal with each other.
No matter what you may be experiencing, there is support for getting your life on a better track. Many, many Veterans have found the strength to reach out and make the connection.
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If you find yourself living with guilt or remorse about a past action or inaction, try to set aside time to think about your feelings. Remember that everyone has things they would have done differently—but no one can change the past or predict the future. Sometimes the experience is worse if you keep your feelings to yourself. Telling someone, like a family member or friend, about your regrets or guilty feelings can be a good first step to overcoming them. Learn more steps you can take on our Guilt page.
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If you are experiencing loss of interest or pleasure, try to plan a pleasurable activity daily, even if it's something small. Physical activity can improve your mood and help you sleep better. Talking to your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're feeling can also be helpful. They may be able to provide support and help you discover what is causing you to lose interest in things you once enjoyed. Learn more steps you can take on our Loss of Interest or Pleasure page.
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Allowing social withdrawal or social isolation to continue unchecked will only make your situation more challenging. Consider reaching out to your family members, friends, or health care provider, even though it may be the last thing you feel like doing. Connect with Veterans' groups or participate in clubs or hobbies focused on something you like. Research shows that spending time talking with others improves your mood and has a positive effect on health. Learn more steps you can take on our Social Withdrawal and Isolation page.
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There are several ways to improve your sleep right away: (1) Make your bedroom a place just for sleeping—not for activities like watching TV, reading, working, or listening to the radio. (2) Avoid light exposure from screens at night, which can throw off your sleep cycle. (3) Avoid alcohol and large meals near bedtime. (4) Maintain a regular sleep schedule. In addition, talking with your family members, close friends, or a health care provider may help you find support and resources to address your challenges. Learn more steps you can take on our Trouble Sleeping page.
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If you are experiencing confusion, try to slow down and focus on the task at hand. Take regular breaks to avoid feeling tired and overwhelmed. Avoid drinking alcohol, which can make confusion worse. Talk to your health care provider to determine whether a medical condition such as TBI might be contributing to the problem. You can also talk to a pharmacist about the possible effects of medications you're taking. Learn more steps you can take on our Confusion page.
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If you are experiencing difficulty concentrating, avoid distractions like loud music or the television. Develop a routine and try to stick to a regular schedule. Additionally, take regular breaks to prevent feeling tired. Talk to your health care provider to determine whether a condition such as TBI, ADHD, or anxiety might be contributing to the problem. You can also talk to a pharmacist about the possible effects of medications you're taking. Learn more steps you can take on our Difficulty Concentrating page.
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If you are experiencing dizziness, lie down for a few minutes with your head slightly elevated. Lifestyle changes such as drinking more water, getting enough rest, and avoiding alcohol or drugs can help. Medications and medical conditions such as heart disease or ear issues can also cause dizziness; consult a medical provider if you get dizzy on a regular basis. If you suddenly lose function in part of your body (e.g., arm weakness, face drooping, difficulty speaking) along with experiencing vertigo, this can indicate a serious problem, such as a stroke. Call 911 and seek medical help immediately. Learn more steps you can take on our Dizziness page.
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A flashback can be distressing for you and those around you. Try grounding yourself by focusing on details of your surroundings or neutral physical sensations, such as the feeling of your feet on the floor. Call someone you trust and tell them what is happening. Your family, friends, or health care provider may be able to provide support and help you deal with your flashbacks. Learn more steps you can take on our Flashbacks page.
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Noise or Light Irritation
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Learn what triggers episodes of noise or light irritation. Try making adjustments to computer and TV screens, and ensure you get the right amount of sleep. If you're taking medication and want to know if it could be affecting your sensitivity to noise or light, talk to your doctor. Certain drugs or medications may cause vision or hearing problems. Never stop taking a prescription without first consulting a medical professional. Learn more steps you can take on our Noise or Light Irritation page.
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Nightmares
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To manage upsetting feelings after a nightmare, focus on what's real by touching and describing objects around you. If you're unable to sleep within 15 minutes, leave your bed briefly to wash your hands or drink water while avoiding any strenuous activity. Also, talk to your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're experiencing. They may be able to provide support and help you find solutions. Learn more steps you can take on our Nightmares page.
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High-Risk Activities
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What can I do about drinking or drug use?
There are many options for Veterans who want to cut down on or stop drinking alcohol or using drugs. One option is counseling, either one-on-one or in a group. Another involves medication to help reduce use. A third option is mutual-help groups. You can work with your doctor or counselor and try different types of treatment to find the one that's best for you. Learn more steps you can take on our Alcohol or Drug Misuse page.
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Gambling
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If I’m experiencing a gambling problem, what can I do about it right away?
The first step in addressing your challenges is to acknowledge that gambling has become a problem in your life and recognize that it is possible to make a change. Practice relaxation exercises such as deep breathing to manage stress and urges to gamble. Spend time with supportive people who do not gamble, and talk with your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're experiencing. They may be able to provide support and help you find solutions that are right for you. Learn more steps you can take on our Gambling page.
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Reckless Behavior
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What can I do if I’ve noticed myself engaging in reckless behavior?
There are ways to prevent yourself from engaging in risky behavior. Plan to avoid situations that might lead to recklessness. For example, leave early or late to avoid rush-hour traffic, or arrange a ride home if you'll be drinking. Talking with your family members, close friends, or a health care provider may help you find support and resources to address your challenges. Learn more steps you can take on our Reckless Behavior page.
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