Nathan joined the Marines after 9/11, and he was excited to do his part. After two deployments and the loss of many friends, he was relieved to return home. But it was tough being around people he felt didn't understand him. His wife urged him to reach out, and he went to a Vet Center. Support has helped him find a more fulfilling life.
View Video TranscriptNathan:
I'm Nathan and I was in the Marine Corp for 8 years, and I joined right after 9/11, that was when I was 17 and then I spent 8 years in the Marine Corp as a combat engineer.
Nathan:
At the time I was just excited to do my job, should be interesting. My first deployment was just incredible. It was just stars in my eyes, wow this is crazy stuff, I'm like living in a movie, adrenaline rush.
Nathan:
For my second deployment, I was in Combat Outpost, Ramadi that was not a fun deployment that was my hardest deployment. We had a lot of casualties, and destruction and I had to relearn who I was, because I lost myself out there, and most of my friends died in OIF II, except for one who ended up committing suicide about 2 weeks after we got back.
Nathan:
Not deploying again, I was relieved on one hand, but also the other hand, every combat Veteran that I'm around, that I know, they still want to be a part of the fight, they don't want to leave their brothers over there.
Nathan:
After each deployment, they sit you down in those PTSD briefs and of course, just like most Marines, I rolled my eyes and went, right, PTSD, not me. I had a lot of reasons why I didn't think it would ever affect me. Looking back 20/20, it was affecting me already.
Nathan:
I felt like a stranger in my own home, let alone everywhere else. At least when I was in the military, whether I was in training or whether I was just working a normal schedule, I could go to work and people got it, people understood. All of a sudden, I wasn't surrounded by people who got it, my wife, my kids didn't understand why I was different, and I didn't understand them anymore. I couldn't understand the petty complaints, so I pulled away when I first got out, I thought it was everyone else's fault that they didn't get me. I was on the computer one time for 54 hours without sleeping, I didn't want to eat, and I didn't want to take a second to think about my life because that's where my life was at at that point. So as you could imagine, that could cause so problems in a marriage when you're ignoring the other person, your significant other, and so my wife said, very plainly, “Look, either you get help or I get out.” I did get help. I ended up finding help through the Vet Center. They also did marriage and family therapy with me and my wife a few times.
Nathan:
When I first got told that I had PTSD I actually went into a deep depression because, I mean here I was already having problems, then somebody says I have a disorder, and that word weighs heavy, really heavy on a person, and for me that was hard to hear. Understanding that that disorder doesn't have to be a part of your Post Traumatic Stress was a big part for me, and admitting that I had an issue, because then it's just a natural reaction, that's all it is. It's a reaction you're supposed to have to a traumatic situation. Those images are going to be there, those memories are not going to go away, but it doesn't have to completely destroy your life, that's all in how you deal with it. Now that I understand it better, that was my first step in creating a better household, understanding myself better, being able to understand why they didn't understand me.
Nathan:
So many people think that. “Oh, well you just need to suck it up and don't ask for a hand out.” It's simply the VA fulfilling the contract that you signed when you went in, because you said you were going to give your everything, and then they said they're going to take care of anything that happens to you in the service. I'm not asking for a handout when I go in and ask for help with my TBI, my PTSD, back issues, chest issues, IBS, I've got many different issues.
Nathan:
This is something that would happen to anybody, any Marine, and there's many other Marines who are seeking help, and that also helps too, because once you see that, okay, I'm not alone in this, it really helps to kind of forward that thinking on.
Nathan:
Now that I understand why I was feeling the way I felt, I was able to deal with it better. So loving my kids is easier, life is getting better, and just choosing one thing each day to improve on and just one step at a time getting better.
No matter what you may be experiencing, there is support for getting your life on a better track. Many, many Veterans have found the strength to reach out and make the connection.
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To manage upsetting feelings after a nightmare, focus on what's real by touching and describing objects around you. If you're unable to sleep within 15 minutes, leave your bed briefly to wash your hands or drink water while avoiding any strenuous activity. Also, talk to your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're experiencing. They may be able to provide support and help you find solutions. Learn more steps you can take on our Nightmares page.
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The first step in addressing your challenges is to acknowledge that gambling has become a problem in your life and recognize that it is possible to make a change. Practice relaxation exercises such as deep breathing to manage stress and urges to gamble. Spend time with supportive people who do not gamble, and talk with your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're experiencing. They may be able to provide support and help you find solutions that are right for you. Learn more steps you can take on our Gambling page.
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There are ways to prevent yourself from engaging in risky behavior. Plan to avoid situations that might lead to recklessness. For example, leave early or late to avoid rush-hour traffic, or arrange a ride home if you'll be drinking. Talking with your family members, close friends, or a health care provider may help you find support and resources to address your challenges. Learn more steps you can take on our Reckless Behavior page.
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