Edmond served in the Marines and deployed to Iraq. Coming home and adjusting to civilian life was challenging. He didn't feel motivated, and he no longer enjoyed being with other people. Anger and trouble sleeping took a toll. Edmond's family recommended he go to VA. He began attending PTSD group sessions, where he felt understood and accepted.
View Video TranscriptEdmond:
My name's Edmond, I was in the Marine Corps from '98 till 2006, and my MOS was satellite technician. I was deployed to Kuwait and then we went to Iraq from there. That was probably the most intense time in my life. We went up there on this convoy and we go through these areas and you're nervous and terrified because you don't know what's going to happen. Being overseas and in combat, you feel different when you come back stateside. You feel a lot better, you feel a bigger appreciation for the small things, you know. You're not so in a rush, but the problem is you're not motivated to do anything because here everything is kind of generated by money and materialistic things and stuff like that, but over there you see people are dying and starving really for water and food, so immediately when I got back it was “Okay, I don't really feel like doing anything here because it's not worth it, you know, there's not anything to do it for, there's no reasons.”
A few years after that my family started noticing differences like temper, attitude, kind of, like, not really wanting to go outside or deal with people. I was really social before and then once I got back was kind of, like, an introvert, not really too social, not many friends. I didn’t sleep, I just stayed always up. Anger issues, I was always angry or on edge, expecting something and always waiting for something to happen, easily startled, loud noises, relationship-wise just didn’t want to relate with anyone, couldn’t understand, like, what someone would cry about and the emotion. Like “What are you crying for? You’re not bleeding, you’re not hurt, there’s no reason to cry.”
No one really understands what you’ve been through or where you’re going, and no one—you can’t say “Okay, you know how it was in Iraq” or whatever because they weren’t there, so you’re not going to get the perspective that you got, you know, when you’re there, so everybody don’t understand, and then as a Marine especially, or as a man, it’s hard to ask for help. You’re trained to adapt and overcome, so whatever comes up I “okay, I can deal with this or I’ll figure out away around that.”
I was there for about a year, so for a year you’re on pins and needles and terrified, you don’t know what the hell’s going to happen. So then you come home and there’s a feeling of relief but then you’re—I don’t know if it’s, you know, something within your body but you’re craving, like, “Okay what’s next, like, this is—this feels wrong, to feel this way,” like, to be at ease or, you know, you’re just anticipating the storm.
I had a daughter in 2009, and, like, right before she was born my mother was telling me, like, you know, “You should get checked out, you’re having a daughter, you need to make sure that you’re fit to raise her, that you’re not having any issues or there’s going to be some problems later,” and then when I mentioned it, you know, I was passing the idea over other family members and they were like, “Yeah, we’ve thought this for a while now, it’s a good idea that you do go.”
Initially I called the VA and I was looking—I kind of just sat in, like, those…they have these groups there and they have, like, a group session where everyone sits around and they talk about, you know, their emotions and feelings and what’s going on with them, and it was a PTSD group, so I went and I kind of sat in the back for a while just to hear what was going on, because I was like “If this doesn’t make sense to me I’m not going to go any further,” but then as I go in there and I start hearing, like, the guys talk and I could relate to all of it. Like, I’m sitting there and “Okay, I understand that and can’t sleep, I understand that, nightmares, I understand that, you know, being up all night, finding all kinds of things to do, you know, having to always be involved or thinking of something so that way your mind doesn’t wander.” And I could identify with a lot of what the guys were saying, so then I got the instructor’s card, because you pass them out, like, at the class there and take them, and then I called there and made an appt and then I went down there and talked to her and then they set me up with a, like, an evaluation. They recommended medication and that I did, like, one-on-one counseling sessions and I’ve been doing it ever since.
The biggest improvement overall is now I go to sleep, which is, you know, it sounds small to somebody else, but to be able to know that you’re going to go to bed in your room and go to sleep is a big deal. If I’m going to raise someone else, I should at least be…make sure that, you know, I’m okay.
You know yourself better than anybody else does, and if you know there’s a difference or if you even think there is, then just go and take a look. There can’t be any harm in just researching or checking it out, and that’s how I did it. I went in and I went to the group and I sat in the back and I just listened until something that struck me as, you know, like, “Okay, I’m going through that too.” You didn’t go into the military alone, and there’s—you’re definitely not the only person, and that’s ultimately how I had to look at it. There’s other people who are going through the same thing that I’m going through, and just to kind of give them, you know, if nothing else they can see that there’s something else for them and that there is hope.
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If you are experiencing dizziness, lie down for a few minutes with your head slightly elevated. Lifestyle changes such as drinking more water, getting enough rest, and avoiding alcohol or drugs can help. Medications and medical conditions such as heart disease or ear issues can also cause dizziness; consult a medical provider if you get dizzy on a regular basis. If you suddenly lose function in part of your body (e.g., arm weakness, face drooping, difficulty speaking) along with experiencing vertigo, this can indicate a serious problem, such as a stroke. Call 911 and seek medical help immediately. Learn more steps you can take on our Dizziness page.
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A flashback can be distressing for you and those around you. Try grounding yourself by focusing on details of your surroundings or neutral physical sensations, such as the feeling of your feet on the floor. Call someone you trust and tell them what is happening. Your family, friends, or health care provider may be able to provide support and help you deal with your flashbacks. Learn more steps you can take on our Flashbacks page.
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Learn what triggers episodes of noise or light irritation. Try making adjustments to computer and TV screens, and ensure you get the right amount of sleep. If you're taking medication and want to know if it could be affecting your sensitivity to noise or light, talk to your doctor. Certain drugs or medications may cause vision or hearing problems. Never stop taking a prescription without first consulting a medical professional. Learn more steps you can take on our Noise or Light Irritation page.
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Nightmares
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To manage upsetting feelings after a nightmare, focus on what's real by touching and describing objects around you. If you're unable to sleep within 15 minutes, leave your bed briefly to wash your hands or drink water while avoiding any strenuous activity. Also, talk to your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're experiencing. They may be able to provide support and help you find solutions. Learn more steps you can take on our Nightmares page.
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There are many options for Veterans who want to cut down on or stop drinking alcohol or using drugs. One option is counseling, either one-on-one or in a group. Another involves medication to help reduce use. A third option is mutual-help groups. You can work with your doctor or counselor and try different types of treatment to find the one that's best for you. Learn more steps you can take on our Alcohol or Drug Misuse page.
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Gambling
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If I’m experiencing a gambling problem, what can I do about it right away?
The first step in addressing your challenges is to acknowledge that gambling has become a problem in your life and recognize that it is possible to make a change. Practice relaxation exercises such as deep breathing to manage stress and urges to gamble. Spend time with supportive people who do not gamble, and talk with your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're experiencing. They may be able to provide support and help you find solutions that are right for you. Learn more steps you can take on our Gambling page.
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Reckless Behavior
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What can I do if I’ve noticed myself engaging in reckless behavior?
There are ways to prevent yourself from engaging in risky behavior. Plan to avoid situations that might lead to recklessness. For example, leave early or late to avoid rush-hour traffic, or arrange a ride home if you'll be drinking. Talking with your family members, close friends, or a health care provider may help you find support and resources to address your challenges. Learn more steps you can take on our Reckless Behavior page.
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