Women discuss the challenges they faced during and after their time in the military. Listen as they recount some experiences that are specific to women Veterans, and others that are shared by women and men alike. By reaching out for support, these women overcame obstacles and improved their lives.
View Video TranscriptInterviewee1:
Society as a large, they have this opinion that Veterans should be men and not women, and if women are Vets and they've gone over there, then they've stayed on post and they're nurses and they push papers and that they're not Combat Vets. And I am a Combat Vet.
Interviewee2:
The female to male ratio in Guantanamo Bay is about 15 or 20, so for every 20 males there's one female. So it's kind of hard to get acclimated to that, especially being young, being defined as being attractive. It becomes a problem because everyone's thinking either you're getting ahead because you're attractive or well this girl must be very promiscuous because clearly she's running through guys. Although, just perceptions were really strident.
Interviewee3:
It's still tough for women here. We still have a hard time. We still have to watch our backs. We still have to pay attention to where we are and where we're going.
Interviewee4:
It can be particularly challenging for women because women have been integrated in so many ways, into lots of different roles in the military. But when you come out, like I found it a little difficult, I think, to relate to non-military women.
Interviewee3:
When I first got back, large groups just could not happen for me. I couldn't even be in a place. There was so much anxiety that if I walked into a space, coliseum, football field, auditorium. I could manage an auditorium if I stood at the back of the room by the door. That was about as much as I could handle.
Interviewee4:
Well I was used to talking to people every day all the time. I wasn't used to being alone.
Interviewee2:
I felt like I was tired all the time. If I wasn't out running, I was sleeping, which of course is very militaristic; you're work or you're sleeping.
Interviewee5:
I was having issues with like proximity of people coming close to me or loud sounds and stuff.
Interviewee6:
A friend of mine said, “You know, you're really, you're not getting out of bed, you're not doing anything, you're not taking a shower and you really need to get some help besides medication and besides just laying around.”
Interviewee7:
Believe it or not it was a long time before I actually went to the VA, simply because of my son. I was afraid they would take my son for admitting to some issue, so it was a long time before I went.
Interviewee8:
At the VA that I belong to, they're very sensitive to women's issues. They have a women's program just for women.
Interviewee9:
And so I get care from Women's Health Clinic to Mental Health to a Primary Care Provider, and now actually with the VA, they have that new system where you can actually email your doctor. It's amazing.
Interviewee2:
I've been doing much better at trying to manage my symptoms and cope with them as they happen or even prevent them.
Interviewee10:
But the biggest thing was the groups and just getting to talk to the other women.
Interviewee11:
So I encourage women, if you need to talk to somebody seek another woman because they understand. There are great men and women providers at the VA. I've had both. But you've just gotta keep pushing through.
Interviewee6:
And help is the biggest thing. You can't do it on your own. It's not something you can read a book and figure it out. No, you actually need someone that's trained and can sit and listen to you and help you and tell you maybe you need this medication or maybe you just need somebody to talk to.
Interviewee7:
Even though you're having this issue, even though things come up, you can get past it. You're not by yourself, you're not, like I say I always feel like that man out on the island, and that's just not so. There's so many different people who are going through the exact same thing.
No matter what you may be experiencing, there is support for getting your life on a better track. Many, many Veterans have found the strength to reach out and make the connection.
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Some anger management strategies include walking away from the situation, maintaining a regular sleep schedule, taking slow, deep breaths, and exercising regularly. You can also talk to your family, friends, or health care provider about your anger and irritability. They may be able to provide support and help you find resources that are right for you. Learn more steps you can take on our Anger and Irritability page.
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Feeling on Edge
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If you are feeling on edge, breathe deeply. Try grounding yourself by focusing on your surroundings or neutral physical sensations, like the feeling of your feet on the floor. Your family, friends, or health care provider may be able to provide support and help you find treatment that is right for you, so turn to them whenever you are ready. Learn more steps you can take on our Feeling on Edge page.
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If you are a Veteran or know a Veteran who is feeling hopeless or having thoughts of suicide, talk to someone right away. Consider sharing what you're feeling and thinking with your family, friends, or health care provider. In addition, you can call the Veterans Crisis Line: Dial 988 and then Press 1, chat online at VeteransCrisisLine.net, or send a text to 838255. The Veterans Crisis Line offers free, confidential support, 24/7. Learn more steps you can take on our Feelings of Hopelessness page.
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Guilt
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If I'm experiencing guilt, what can I do about it right away?
If you find yourself living with guilt or remorse about a past action or inaction, try to set aside time to think about your feelings. Remember that everyone has things they would have done differently—but no one can change the past or predict the future. Sometimes the experience is worse if you keep your feelings to yourself. Telling someone, like a family member or friend, about your regrets or guilty feelings can be a good first step to overcoming them. Learn more steps you can take on our Guilt page.
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Loss of Interest or Pleasure
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If you are experiencing loss of interest or pleasure, try to plan a pleasurable activity daily, even if it's something small. Physical activity can improve your mood and help you sleep better. Talking to your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're feeling can also be helpful. They may be able to provide support and help you discover what is causing you to lose interest in things you once enjoyed. Learn more steps you can take on our Loss of Interest or Pleasure page.
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Social Withdrawal & Isolation
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If I’m withdrawing from others or isolating myself, what can I do about it right away?
Allowing social withdrawal or social isolation to continue unchecked will only make your situation more challenging. Consider reaching out to your family members, friends, or health care provider, even though it may be the last thing you feel like doing. Connect with Veterans' groups or participate in clubs or hobbies focused on something you like. Research shows that spending time talking with others improves your mood and has a positive effect on health. Learn more steps you can take on our Social Withdrawal and Isolation page.
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If you're experiencing stress and anxiety, try practicing relaxation techniques, such as deep breathing, to help you cope when things upset you or don't go according to plan. In addition, talk to your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're experiencing. They may be able to provide support and help you find solutions. Learn more steps you can take on our Stress and Anxiety page.
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Many Veterans have overcome relationship problems that arose after time away from family or after stressful situations. Try making a "communication plan" to express your thoughts and feelings with loved ones by considering what to say and how. Writing down these thoughts can help your family and friends better understand your circumstances and assist you in finding support. Learn more steps you can take on our Relationship Problems page.
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If you are experiencing chronic pain, there are a few things you can do to improve your well-being: (1) Tell your doctor about it. They can help develop a treatment plan. (2) Find ways to stay physically active, according to your doctor's recommendations. (3) Keep a "pain diary," where you can record your progress with pain and how it affects your life. Learn more steps you can take on our Chronic Pain page.
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Eating Problems
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If I'm experiencing eating problems, what can I do about it right away?
If you are experiencing eating problems, find healthy ways to manage stress, such as taking a walk, going for a run, practicing relaxation exercises like deep breathing or meditation, or doing something nice for yourself like watching a movie or reading. Also, talk to your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're experiencing. They may be able to provide support and help you find solutions. Learn more steps you can take on our Eating Problems page.
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Headaches
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If I'm experiencing headaches, what can I do about it right away?
If you are experiencing headaches, try to rest with your eyes closed and head supported. Getting enough sleep, eating regularly without skipping meals, staying hydrated, and maintaining good posture are simple lifestyle changes that can help you avoid or reduce headaches. Talk to your doctor if you experience frequent or recurring headaches, which can be a sign of a medical issue. Learn more steps you can take on our Headaches page.
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Trouble Sleeping
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If I’m having trouble sleeping, what can I do about it right away?
There are several ways to improve your sleep right away: (1) Make your bedroom a place just for sleeping—not for activities like watching TV, reading, working, or listening to the radio. (2) Avoid light exposure from screens at night, which can throw off your sleep cycle. (3) Avoid alcohol and large meals near bedtime. (4) Maintain a regular sleep schedule. In addition, talking with your family members, close friends, or a health care provider may help you find support and resources to address your challenges. Learn more steps you can take on our Trouble Sleeping page.
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Cognitive Symptoms
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Confusion
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If I'm experiencing confusion, what can I do about it right away?
If you are experiencing confusion, try to slow down and focus on the task at hand. Take regular breaks to avoid feeling tired and overwhelmed. Avoid drinking alcohol, which can make confusion worse. Talk to your health care provider to determine whether a medical condition such as TBI might be contributing to the problem. You can also talk to a pharmacist about the possible effects of medications you're taking. Learn more steps you can take on our Confusion page.
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Difficulty Concentrating
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If I'm experiencing difficulty concentrating, what can I do about it right away?
If you are experiencing difficulty concentrating, avoid distractions like loud music or the television. Develop a routine and try to stick to a regular schedule. Additionally, take regular breaks to prevent feeling tired. Talk to your health care provider to determine whether a condition such as TBI, ADHD, or anxiety might be contributing to the problem. You can also talk to a pharmacist about the possible effects of medications you're taking. Learn more steps you can take on our Difficulty Concentrating page.
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Dizziness
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If I'm experiencing dizziness, what can I do about it right away?
If you are experiencing dizziness, lie down for a few minutes with your head slightly elevated. Lifestyle changes such as drinking more water, getting enough rest, and avoiding alcohol or drugs can help. Medications and medical conditions such as heart disease or ear issues can also cause dizziness; consult a medical provider if you get dizzy on a regular basis. If you suddenly lose function in part of your body (e.g., arm weakness, face drooping, difficulty speaking) along with experiencing vertigo, this can indicate a serious problem, such as a stroke. Call 911 and seek medical help immediately. Learn more steps you can take on our Dizziness page.
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Flashbacks
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If I’m experiencing a flashback, what can I do about it right away?
A flashback can be distressing for you and those around you. Try grounding yourself by focusing on details of your surroundings or neutral physical sensations, such as the feeling of your feet on the floor. Call someone you trust and tell them what is happening. Your family, friends, or health care provider may be able to provide support and help you deal with your flashbacks. Learn more steps you can take on our Flashbacks page.
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Noise or Light Irritation
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If I'm experiencing noise or light irritation, what can I do about it right away?
Learn what triggers episodes of noise or light irritation. Try making adjustments to computer and TV screens, and ensure you get the right amount of sleep. If you're taking medication and want to know if it could be affecting your sensitivity to noise or light, talk to your doctor. Certain drugs or medications may cause vision or hearing problems. Never stop taking a prescription without first consulting a medical professional. Learn more steps you can take on our Noise or Light Irritation page.
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Nightmares
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If I’m having nightmares, what can I do about it right away?
To manage upsetting feelings after a nightmare, focus on what's real by touching and describing objects around you. If you're unable to sleep within 15 minutes, leave your bed briefly to wash your hands or drink water while avoiding any strenuous activity. Also, talk to your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're experiencing. They may be able to provide support and help you find solutions. Learn more steps you can take on our Nightmares page.
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High-Risk Activities
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Alcohol or Drug Misuse
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What can I do about drinking or drug use?
There are many options for Veterans who want to cut down on or stop drinking alcohol or using drugs. One option is counseling, either one-on-one or in a group. Another involves medication to help reduce use. A third option is mutual-help groups. You can work with your doctor or counselor and try different types of treatment to find the one that's best for you. Learn more steps you can take on our Alcohol or Drug Misuse page.
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Gambling
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If I’m experiencing a gambling problem, what can I do about it right away?
The first step in addressing your challenges is to acknowledge that gambling has become a problem in your life and recognize that it is possible to make a change. Practice relaxation exercises such as deep breathing to manage stress and urges to gamble. Spend time with supportive people who do not gamble, and talk with your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're experiencing. They may be able to provide support and help you find solutions that are right for you. Learn more steps you can take on our Gambling page.
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Reckless Behavior
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What can I do if I’ve noticed myself engaging in reckless behavior?
There are ways to prevent yourself from engaging in risky behavior. Plan to avoid situations that might lead to recklessness. For example, leave early or late to avoid rush-hour traffic, or arrange a ride home if you'll be drinking. Talking with your family members, close friends, or a health care provider may help you find support and resources to address your challenges. Learn more steps you can take on our Reckless Behavior page.
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