Harlan, an Army Veteran, began drinking heavily after he returned from Vietnam. When he stopped working decades later, he didn’t take pleasure in anything. His marriage ended, he had financial problems, and then he became homeless. When he finally turned to VA, Harlan found acceptance and support to overcome depression and symptoms of PTSD.
View Video TranscriptHarlan:
My name is Harlan. I served in the United States Army. I was with the 591st Military Police. I was a clean-cut, All-American kid and yet when it was time for me to go, I was drafted in that first lottery draft. And I had no problem. I just went and I was glad I served my country.
I went through training and I ended up in Fort Bliss. And my unit was supposed to go overseas, but for some reason it never happened. It was very hot down there. I started drinking a lot. It was a whole new world for me having never been out of Brooklyn.
I think way back then I was lost more than anything else because I had some issues before I went in the Military. So, by the time I got out, I was drinking heavily.
In 2004, after a 21-year career in nursing, it was hard for me to get out of bed every morning. I was lethargic. I had anhedonia, which means I had no pleasure from anything that I did. I already had a substance abuse problem, and I had suicidal ideation. And I had a little bit of a plan to turn around, and walk in front of a car.
My wife at the time said, “I had enough,” She left. Then I couldn’t make the house payment. And then I got the car repossessed. So, it was a progression and all of a sudden, I found myself out in the streets with nowhere to go. That’s when I went to the VA.
While I was homeless, the requirement is that you went to a group called Willingness, at the VA. They want to see how willing you really were to get help. And I had to wait 11 days where I would take a bus from the VA back to a shelter every night to stay. I guess I really wanted treatment at that point because I finally had reached the point where I said, “You know what, I’m going to stay clean until I can get into this program.” And I did.
The Psychiatrist told me I had long-term chronic depression. And he said, “You’ve had this for years.” And I was really shocked to know that. I didn’t know. That’s why I started medicating. That’s why I didn’t get very much joy out of life. So, it kind of opened up the doorway for the first time in my life to say, “Oh, that’s what it is.”
At that point, they told me I suffered from PTSD. And I said, “How could I… I was never in combat, how could I have post-traumatic?” Well, it doesn’t have to be the Military. It happened way back when in my childhood. I went over into the PTSD group, and I found that there were some other guys in there that didn’t have combat experience. And then I got to listen to the guys that did go through it, and my heart went out to them. And you know, they accepted me. I was a fellow Military guy, and that’s the way they looked at me.
How my life has changed? I go to the gym five days a week. I’m going to be 67 years old in a couple of months. I’m in better shape than when I was 30 years ago. I have no desire to use. I’ve very active in the NA community, which they were the conduit to get me there. I actually was able to deal with the death of my wife. This VA, I don’t know how to say… and I know that all the VAs are becoming this way today. They are always there with open arms to help you. They fed me for a while. They put me into sober living for a while. I owe a debt of gratitude that I shall never be able to repay.
If any of what I’m talking about today helps any of the guys that are my age or in my age or even younger, you know what, don’t be scared of the VA. It’s a great place to go, and they will help you if you want. But you gotta reach out.
No matter what you may be experiencing, there is support for getting your life on a better track. Many, many Veterans have found the strength to reach out and make the connection.
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To manage upsetting feelings after a nightmare, focus on what's real by touching and describing objects around you. If you're unable to sleep within 15 minutes, leave your bed briefly to wash your hands or drink water while avoiding any strenuous activity. Also, talk to your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're experiencing. They may be able to provide support and help you find solutions. Learn more steps you can take on our Nightmares page.
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There are many options for Veterans who want to cut down on or stop drinking alcohol or using drugs. One option is counseling, either one-on-one or in a group. Another involves medication to help reduce use. A third option is mutual-help groups. You can work with your doctor or counselor and try different types of treatment to find the one that's best for you. Learn more steps you can take on our Alcohol or Drug Misuse page.
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The first step in addressing your challenges is to acknowledge that gambling has become a problem in your life and recognize that it is possible to make a change. Practice relaxation exercises such as deep breathing to manage stress and urges to gamble. Spend time with supportive people who do not gamble, and talk with your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're experiencing. They may be able to provide support and help you find solutions that are right for you. Learn more steps you can take on our Gambling page.
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What can I do if I’ve noticed myself engaging in reckless behavior?
There are ways to prevent yourself from engaging in risky behavior. Plan to avoid situations that might lead to recklessness. For example, leave early or late to avoid rush-hour traffic, or arrange a ride home if you'll be drinking. Talking with your family members, close friends, or a health care provider may help you find support and resources to address your challenges. Learn more steps you can take on our Reckless Behavior page.
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