Joe’s time in the Marines included work in Mortuary Affairs. He focused on honoring the fallen and caring for grieving families, yet the job took a toll. When Joe got home, he buried his anger and other emotions. He reached out for support and found a counselor. With treatment, Joe has learned to manage his grief so he can re-engage with life.
View Video TranscriptJoe:
Joe, United States Marine Corps, stayed in there for 17 years. Never really left the Marine Corps, just kind of stayed with it the whole time, even when I was out, I did a couple special projects. Came back into it right after September 11th matter of fact. Came back in to go over to Iraq. My experiences, for when it came down to the combat experience, was actually before that because before I actually got back in I was an Activated Reservist. That's how I got back into the Marine Corps.
When I was an Activated Reservist trying to get back into active duty, I actually did Mortuary Affairs for a year. So, I end up getting there and their like, “Well you’re the senior man, so you’re in charge. Well, we’re a year backlogged on getting personal effects to families and to different people.” I’m like, “What do you mean personal effects? Like what are we dealing with here?” Personal effects are basically anything that you have on your body in combat and anything you bring to combat is your personal effects. I’ve never done this before; I was a mechanic. Tell me to get a wrench and replace a blower or a turbocharger, I’m there with you. Tell me to go grab someone’s remains and somehow successfully and professionally prepare this for their mom and dad to look at ‘em was… who trains for that?
The hardest part of that job is what people don’t understand is we were taking care of other people and we were so worried about taking care of the family and the person, we were so busy, we were so involved that we forgot about us.
When I came back, I didn’t even really know I had a problem. I mean, I guess I did know but I, you know, typical Marine Corps fashion, I don’t have a problem. I’m a leader, I lead, leaders don’t have problems, leaders get over it, we drink water, we suck it up, we’re gonna keep going. Biggest thing I found was I started gettin upset, I’d just get angry. I’d get angry about being upset. So, then you start burying your emotions through anger. I actually went and they did the post-health deployment, then went down to the VA and they asked a couple questions. And I remember we talked about the Mortuary Affairs side, and they were like “You did what? And then you went where? We didn’t know you did this. Had we known you did this, we probably wouldn’t have sent you to Iraq, we would have put you in a different area.” So, they said “Hey, you gotta go get help. Would you take a referral to go get help?”
The mental health side of it was good in the fact that, you know, they did say “Hey, you’re not a problem, you have a problem. We can fix this problem. We can get through this problem. Let us help you. It’s not gonna go away. Quit trying to forget it. Quit trying to act like it didn’t happen.” And because it’s not going away, it doesn’t mean I can’t keep working on it. And it doesn’t mean that I have to be the guy that tells my story to everybody, it’s okay to be quiet. But it’s also okay to know that you have somebody that when you want to speak, they’re there to hear you. You’ve gotta find someone, and a counselor’s great. A counselor will listen to you. They’re here to hear your story.
Like I said, anyone who has PTSD knows what you deal with. It’s okay, you’re normal, you’re fine. Don’t be afraid to let the anger go. Don’t be afraid to let the other emotions come in. Yeah, it’s overwhelming because they’re all going to hit you at once. And that’s what happens. I know what it’s like to cry, I know what it’s like to laugh, I know what it’s like to be frustrated, and I understand what anger is. And I know how to be all for these emotions when I need to be these emotions. I’m a happy person today. I can smile, I can laugh. I have bad days. I have horrible days. Everybody does. But our great days are great.
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If you are experiencing dizziness, lie down for a few minutes with your head slightly elevated. Lifestyle changes such as drinking more water, getting enough rest, and avoiding alcohol or drugs can help. Medications and medical conditions such as heart disease or ear issues can also cause dizziness; consult a medical provider if you get dizzy on a regular basis. If you suddenly lose function in part of your body (e.g., arm weakness, face drooping, difficulty speaking) along with experiencing vertigo, this can indicate a serious problem, such as a stroke. Call 911 and seek medical help immediately. Learn more steps you can take on our Dizziness page.
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Learn what triggers episodes of noise or light irritation. Try making adjustments to computer and TV screens, and ensure you get the right amount of sleep. If you're taking medication and want to know if it could be affecting your sensitivity to noise or light, talk to your doctor. Certain drugs or medications may cause vision or hearing problems. Never stop taking a prescription without first consulting a medical professional. Learn more steps you can take on our Noise or Light Irritation page.
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To manage upsetting feelings after a nightmare, focus on what's real by touching and describing objects around you. If you're unable to sleep within 15 minutes, leave your bed briefly to wash your hands or drink water while avoiding any strenuous activity. Also, talk to your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're experiencing. They may be able to provide support and help you find solutions. Learn more steps you can take on our Nightmares page.
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There are many options for Veterans who want to cut down on or stop drinking alcohol or using drugs. One option is counseling, either one-on-one or in a group. Another involves medication to help reduce use. A third option is mutual-help groups. You can work with your doctor or counselor and try different types of treatment to find the one that's best for you. Learn more steps you can take on our Alcohol or Drug Misuse page.
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The first step in addressing your challenges is to acknowledge that gambling has become a problem in your life and recognize that it is possible to make a change. Practice relaxation exercises such as deep breathing to manage stress and urges to gamble. Spend time with supportive people who do not gamble, and talk with your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're experiencing. They may be able to provide support and help you find solutions that are right for you. Learn more steps you can take on our Gambling page.
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Reckless Behavior
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What can I do if I’ve noticed myself engaging in reckless behavior?
There are ways to prevent yourself from engaging in risky behavior. Plan to avoid situations that might lead to recklessness. For example, leave early or late to avoid rush-hour traffic, or arrange a ride home if you'll be drinking. Talking with your family members, close friends, or a health care provider may help you find support and resources to address your challenges. Learn more steps you can take on our Reckless Behavior page.
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