Lidia, a Navy Veteran, lost a close fellow sailor in the USS Cole bombing. After her service, she lost her civilian job and became homeless and depressed. When Lidia hit rock bottom, she went to VA for treatment and became connected to women’s programs. The support she received got her back on her feet.
View Video TranscriptLidia:
My name is Lidia. I served in the United States Navy, and I served from 98 to 2006. I lost a very close friend of mine on the USS Cole bombing, and that was October the 12th of 2000, and we lost 17 sailors that day, and 39 of them were injured, and to see one of the most powerful ships on one of those boats on that platform, not in the water, but being dragged back to the United States, like it was injured. That was very traumatic.
So, September 11th happened. After we saw the airplanes hit, the television was cut off. Communications was gone. To me, experiencing that was like having a heart attack. A lot of the crew is my age, 19, not even 20 yet, you know. We’re young. We just got out of high school, and this happens, but the thing that I needed help with coping the most was when we went overseas, when we actually deployed going towards Iraq. The things that we were picking up out of the water were human bodies. A lot of the things that happened I never talked about. A lot of the things that a lot of the shipmates on our boat, we didn’t...we didn’t talk about it. So, that’s how we handled it.
When I first came to California, I had a job and a place to stay, and when I got here, the executive chef was fired, and there was no employment for me. A guy that I was going to give my security deposit to and stuff like that, he rented out the apartment. I didn’t know what to do, right. I had nowhere to sleep, because I didn’t know anything about shelters, right, and I found a shelter, and I could stay there, and I was sleeping literally on a cot, and I’m just thinking I just went from a queen size bed to a cot. I really thought me going to school, I wouldn’t face homelessness, and the reason being homeless really affected me, because it introduced me to depression.
I still had the mentality I am victorious. I am an overcomer. I can overcome this. Dude, if I can be on a ship with 5,000 people and you know carry on life as it is and get out and graduate from college and get a great job and then move from California, I can do anything, but I could not get out of skid row. I got into a fight, and that was the day I said, “I am truly disgusted in my own self.” That was the straw that broke the camel’s back. That was the day I had said, “You know what, I am an educated, beautiful, single, strong woman. What the F am I fighting for? I am fighting for a better job. I am fighting for a better environment to live in.” So, when I went to the VA that day to speak to a psychiatrist, I felt like I had to admit a lot of things that I was not ready to admit when I first got out, because I thought I was a macho mouse, and I thought I could handle everything.
Once you get to that point in your life, you just have to recognize that it is what it is. You know, you have to get help, and I was grateful that the downtown VA really helped us female Veterans, and now they’re starting up programs just for us. I’m not saying that we’re special or anything like that, but you know there is a difference how a man can take trauma versus a woman taking trauma, and to me, I am very impressed with what downtown is doing.
I say to my brothers and sisters out there, the VA’s a very interesting system, but there is people that are so in there that are Veterans just like us that want to help, but they don’t know. You have to come to them first. The quicker you get there, the better off you’re going to be, and I really believe that the VA is really transforming to help us Veterans. I really believe that.
No matter what you may be experiencing, there is support for getting your life on a better track. Many, many Veterans have found the strength to reach out and make the connection.
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To manage upsetting feelings after a nightmare, focus on what's real by touching and describing objects around you. If you're unable to sleep within 15 minutes, leave your bed briefly to wash your hands or drink water while avoiding any strenuous activity. Also, talk to your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're experiencing. They may be able to provide support and help you find solutions. Learn more steps you can take on our Nightmares page.
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There are many options for Veterans who want to cut down on or stop drinking alcohol or using drugs. One option is counseling, either one-on-one or in a group. Another involves medication to help reduce use. A third option is mutual-help groups. You can work with your doctor or counselor and try different types of treatment to find the one that's best for you. Learn more steps you can take on our Alcohol or Drug Misuse page.
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The first step in addressing your challenges is to acknowledge that gambling has become a problem in your life and recognize that it is possible to make a change. Practice relaxation exercises such as deep breathing to manage stress and urges to gamble. Spend time with supportive people who do not gamble, and talk with your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're experiencing. They may be able to provide support and help you find solutions that are right for you. Learn more steps you can take on our Gambling page.
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Reckless Behavior
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What can I do if I’ve noticed myself engaging in reckless behavior?
There are ways to prevent yourself from engaging in risky behavior. Plan to avoid situations that might lead to recklessness. For example, leave early or late to avoid rush-hour traffic, or arrange a ride home if you'll be drinking. Talking with your family members, close friends, or a health care provider may help you find support and resources to address your challenges. Learn more steps you can take on our Reckless Behavior page.
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