After multiple deployments in the Marines, Frank began feeling angry and had trouble sleeping. His medical officer referred him to a doctor to learn coping techniques. When he left the Marines, Frank and his wife often argued, so he went to VA. Through treatment, Frank felt as if a weight was lifted, and he could get back to enjoying life.
View Video TranscriptFrank:
Hi, my name is Frank, and I served with the US Marines. I started out as a tank crewman, working my way from a driver all the way up from a loader to a gunner to a tank commander as well to a section leader. I also had the opportunity to go to Iraq and Afghanistan between my eight years in service from May 2003 to September of 2011. I just got used to deploying. I kept telling myself if you plan on going to war, plan on dying.
I started to notice effects when my wife brought it up to me in 2008, I believe, when I was still in the service. She kept telling me I’m always angry, I was always irritated. What’s going on with you? I talked to my medical officer at my BH. I said, “Hey, I need to talk to somebody. I’m angry. I’m just angry. Something is wrong with me.” I could barely sleep, and I can’t be happy. So, they sent me to a psychologist where she taught me some techniques how to stay calm, how to release some stress out of you.
I went through more deployments and I was able to deal with it and I still had help and all that. And then this last deployment in August of 2011 is the one that got me most. I saw more tragedies, dealing with more IEDs. I even had friends in tanks who were grunts who got blown up. It was just one injury after another. I went to go try to see my same psychologist just before I was getting out. She could tell I had no emotion in 2011. It’s like, you’re a different man.
Of course, I didn’t have enough time to see anybody. So, when I got out, me and my wife would just be arguing. What are we going to do? What’s going on with you? Find help. So, I went to the VA. They told, “Tell me what’s wrong with you. Tell me everything you need to know. What are you having issues with?” I pretty much gave them a whole list. I’m angry. I’m mad. I have nightmares. This is going on. That was going on. All right, not a problem.
I went to go see a psychologist and a psychiatrist to see what was going on. And probably the best time I’ve ever had to help me get through. They challenged me. They show me ways and techniques to make me better, to show like, hey, it’s okay. You’re not alone.
They wanted to do a ten-week session for me, and it helped. Every week I could hear myself like a weight got off my shoulders. I can talk about it. And it was great. You can’t get rid of the memories. They’re always going to be there. But how you cope with them is a different story.
We go through a lot. We’ve been through a lot. We sacrifice a lot. But our loved ones as well. We’re not alone. They’re with us through thin and thick and they’re there to support us and try to figure us out. They’ll probably never understand, but they’re there to support us. So, let them be supportive. Be patient. Take advantage of what you have. There’s things out there that any member from the armed services, Marine, Army, Navy, Air Force. That we rate so much stuff that we are taken care of that they don’t realize it.
So, I say go take advantage of your benefits. Go online. Go speak to a VA rep. Get on top of that right now. Take advantage of it because they will take care of you and you will be taken care of.
No matter what you may be experiencing, there is support for getting your life on a better track. Many, many Veterans have found the strength to reach out and make the connection.
An online source of information for persons seeking treatment facilities in the United States or U.S. territories for substance abuse/addiction and/or mental health problems.
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If you find yourself living with guilt or remorse about a past action or inaction, try to set aside time to think about your feelings. Remember that everyone has things they would have done differently—but no one can change the past or predict the future. Sometimes the experience is worse if you keep your feelings to yourself. Telling someone, like a family member or friend, about your regrets or guilty feelings can be a good first step to overcoming them. Learn more steps you can take on our Guilt page.
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If you are experiencing loss of interest or pleasure, try to plan a pleasurable activity daily, even if it's something small. Physical activity can improve your mood and help you sleep better. Talking to your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're feeling can also be helpful. They may be able to provide support and help you discover what is causing you to lose interest in things you once enjoyed. Learn more steps you can take on our Loss of Interest or Pleasure page.
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Allowing social withdrawal or social isolation to continue unchecked will only make your situation more challenging. Consider reaching out to your family members, friends, or health care provider, even though it may be the last thing you feel like doing. Connect with Veterans' groups or participate in clubs or hobbies focused on something you like. Research shows that spending time talking with others improves your mood and has a positive effect on health. Learn more steps you can take on our Social Withdrawal and Isolation page.
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If you are experiencing headaches, try to rest with your eyes closed and head supported. Getting enough sleep, eating regularly without skipping meals, staying hydrated, and maintaining good posture are simple lifestyle changes that can help you avoid or reduce headaches. Talk to your doctor if you experience frequent or recurring headaches, which can be a sign of a medical issue. Learn more steps you can take on our Headaches page.
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There are several ways to improve your sleep right away: (1) Make your bedroom a place just for sleeping—not for activities like watching TV, reading, working, or listening to the radio. (2) Avoid light exposure from screens at night, which can throw off your sleep cycle. (3) Avoid alcohol and large meals near bedtime. (4) Maintain a regular sleep schedule. In addition, talking with your family members, close friends, or a health care provider may help you find support and resources to address your challenges. Learn more steps you can take on our Trouble Sleeping page.
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If you are experiencing confusion, try to slow down and focus on the task at hand. Take regular breaks to avoid feeling tired and overwhelmed. Avoid drinking alcohol, which can make confusion worse. Talk to your health care provider to determine whether a medical condition such as TBI might be contributing to the problem. You can also talk to a pharmacist about the possible effects of medications you're taking. Learn more steps you can take on our Confusion page.
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If you are experiencing difficulty concentrating, avoid distractions like loud music or the television. Develop a routine and try to stick to a regular schedule. Additionally, take regular breaks to prevent feeling tired. Talk to your health care provider to determine whether a condition such as TBI, ADHD, or anxiety might be contributing to the problem. You can also talk to a pharmacist about the possible effects of medications you're taking. Learn more steps you can take on our Difficulty Concentrating page.
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If you are experiencing dizziness, lie down for a few minutes with your head slightly elevated. Lifestyle changes such as drinking more water, getting enough rest, and avoiding alcohol or drugs can help. Medications and medical conditions such as heart disease or ear issues can also cause dizziness; consult a medical provider if you get dizzy on a regular basis. If you suddenly lose function in part of your body (e.g., arm weakness, face drooping, difficulty speaking) along with experiencing vertigo, this can indicate a serious problem, such as a stroke. Call 911 and seek medical help immediately. Learn more steps you can take on our Dizziness page.
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Flashbacks
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A flashback can be distressing for you and those around you. Try grounding yourself by focusing on details of your surroundings or neutral physical sensations, such as the feeling of your feet on the floor. Call someone you trust and tell them what is happening. Your family, friends, or health care provider may be able to provide support and help you deal with your flashbacks. Learn more steps you can take on our Flashbacks page.
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Noise or Light Irritation
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If I'm experiencing noise or light irritation, what can I do about it right away?
Learn what triggers episodes of noise or light irritation. Try making adjustments to computer and TV screens, and ensure you get the right amount of sleep. If you're taking medication and want to know if it could be affecting your sensitivity to noise or light, talk to your doctor. Certain drugs or medications may cause vision or hearing problems. Never stop taking a prescription without first consulting a medical professional. Learn more steps you can take on our Noise or Light Irritation page.
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Nightmares
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If I’m having nightmares, what can I do about it right away?
To manage upsetting feelings after a nightmare, focus on what's real by touching and describing objects around you. If you're unable to sleep within 15 minutes, leave your bed briefly to wash your hands or drink water while avoiding any strenuous activity. Also, talk to your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're experiencing. They may be able to provide support and help you find solutions. Learn more steps you can take on our Nightmares page.
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High-Risk Activities
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Alcohol or Drug Misuse
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What can I do about drinking or drug use?
There are many options for Veterans who want to cut down on or stop drinking alcohol or using drugs. One option is counseling, either one-on-one or in a group. Another involves medication to help reduce use. A third option is mutual-help groups. You can work with your doctor or counselor and try different types of treatment to find the one that's best for you. Learn more steps you can take on our Alcohol or Drug Misuse page.
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Gambling
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If I’m experiencing a gambling problem, what can I do about it right away?
The first step in addressing your challenges is to acknowledge that gambling has become a problem in your life and recognize that it is possible to make a change. Practice relaxation exercises such as deep breathing to manage stress and urges to gamble. Spend time with supportive people who do not gamble, and talk with your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're experiencing. They may be able to provide support and help you find solutions that are right for you. Learn more steps you can take on our Gambling page.
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Reckless Behavior
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What can I do if I’ve noticed myself engaging in reckless behavior?
There are ways to prevent yourself from engaging in risky behavior. Plan to avoid situations that might lead to recklessness. For example, leave early or late to avoid rush-hour traffic, or arrange a ride home if you'll be drinking. Talking with your family members, close friends, or a health care provider may help you find support and resources to address your challenges. Learn more steps you can take on our Reckless Behavior page.
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