When James deployed to Iraq with the Marines, he saw a lot of combat. There were frequent attacks, and his squad leader was killed. When James came home, he shut down and ignored his challenges. James’ father urged him to go to VA. Being in a group with Veterans brought a sense of relief. He encourages other Veterans to reach out for support.
View Video TranscriptJames:
Hi my name is James. I was an 0331 Machine Gunner with 3rd Battalion 7th Marines Lima Company, Weapons Platoon. I served in Iraq from 2005-2006 for my first tour. I was supposed to leave in July for my second tour in 2007 and I left in April, right before my 21st Birthday.
The first time it was chaos. I couldn’t describe it any other way. IED’s every day. We had, I think it was around 1300 attacks in 9 months. So that is more than one a day. October 4th, 2005, we lost one of the youngest guys in our whole company and he was actually the squad leader, I was the section leader, so we were pretty close.
Processing it after it happens, I think the only way in country that I was able to literally was, I started smoking, started ignoring things, stopped talking to my family. I kind of shut down because a lot of people kept asking the dumb questions, “Have you killed anybody, has anyone been killed around you?” I got jaded. I felt that people just didn’t respect any of us and I was immediately checked in the VA, you know got that done, at my Father’s behest, he is a Vietnam Veteran. I started getting into the writing group and when I got into that I started venting everything onto paper. Then once people heard me read it or they read it themselves, then they went, “You really need help. Like we are Vietnam Veterans, you are us the day off the boat and you have been back and out of the military for 4 months, so you should be much further along than this and you are not.” That’s when I started getting into more groups, PTSD groups.
I didn’t think anyone got it. Then finally once I got in the group, other Veterans got it big-time. They were like “You are us 40 years ago kid.” And the VA is good with that, that there are so many Vietnam Veterans. It’s the passing of the baton so to speak. Go to the Veterans Centers, go to the VA. Ask people like patient advocates. You need to get the anger out and groups, for me, always gave me that, because you are sitting with Veterans. They are guys just like you and they have probably seen just as much or worse than you.
There is a term, at least in the Marines, we call it, put your pack down. You know you are done with your, you are retiring, put your pack down, you are going to kick off your pack. Let that pack down. Let the grudge go. That’s what the VA and talking to other Veterans taught me. Ask for help because if you don’t, not that I am saying everyone is going to end up the same, but if you don’t, no matter what, you are not going to end up where you want.
No matter what you may be experiencing, there is support for getting your life on a better track. Many, many Veterans have found the strength to reach out and make the connection.
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If you find yourself living with guilt or remorse about a past action or inaction, try to set aside time to think about your feelings. Remember that everyone has things they would have done differently—but no one can change the past or predict the future. Sometimes the experience is worse if you keep your feelings to yourself. Telling someone, like a family member or friend, about your regrets or guilty feelings can be a good first step to overcoming them. Learn more steps you can take on our Guilt page.
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There are several ways to improve your sleep right away: (1) Make your bedroom a place just for sleeping—not for activities like watching TV, reading, working, or listening to the radio. (2) Avoid light exposure from screens at night, which can throw off your sleep cycle. (3) Avoid alcohol and large meals near bedtime. (4) Maintain a regular sleep schedule. In addition, talking with your family members, close friends, or a health care provider may help you find support and resources to address your challenges. Learn more steps you can take on our Trouble Sleeping page.
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If you are experiencing confusion, try to slow down and focus on the task at hand. Take regular breaks to avoid feeling tired and overwhelmed. Avoid drinking alcohol, which can make confusion worse. Talk to your health care provider to determine whether a medical condition such as TBI might be contributing to the problem. You can also talk to a pharmacist about the possible effects of medications you're taking. Learn more steps you can take on our Confusion page.
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If you are experiencing dizziness, lie down for a few minutes with your head slightly elevated. Lifestyle changes such as drinking more water, getting enough rest, and avoiding alcohol or drugs can help. Medications and medical conditions such as heart disease or ear issues can also cause dizziness; consult a medical provider if you get dizzy on a regular basis. If you suddenly lose function in part of your body (e.g., arm weakness, face drooping, difficulty speaking) along with experiencing vertigo, this can indicate a serious problem, such as a stroke. Call 911 and seek medical help immediately. Learn more steps you can take on our Dizziness page.
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A flashback can be distressing for you and those around you. Try grounding yourself by focusing on details of your surroundings or neutral physical sensations, such as the feeling of your feet on the floor. Call someone you trust and tell them what is happening. Your family, friends, or health care provider may be able to provide support and help you deal with your flashbacks. Learn more steps you can take on our Flashbacks page.
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Learn what triggers episodes of noise or light irritation. Try making adjustments to computer and TV screens, and ensure you get the right amount of sleep. If you're taking medication and want to know if it could be affecting your sensitivity to noise or light, talk to your doctor. Certain drugs or medications may cause vision or hearing problems. Never stop taking a prescription without first consulting a medical professional. Learn more steps you can take on our Noise or Light Irritation page.
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Nightmares
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To manage upsetting feelings after a nightmare, focus on what's real by touching and describing objects around you. If you're unable to sleep within 15 minutes, leave your bed briefly to wash your hands or drink water while avoiding any strenuous activity. Also, talk to your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're experiencing. They may be able to provide support and help you find solutions. Learn more steps you can take on our Nightmares page.
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What can I do about drinking or drug use?
There are many options for Veterans who want to cut down on or stop drinking alcohol or using drugs. One option is counseling, either one-on-one or in a group. Another involves medication to help reduce use. A third option is mutual-help groups. You can work with your doctor or counselor and try different types of treatment to find the one that's best for you. Learn more steps you can take on our Alcohol or Drug Misuse page.
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Gambling
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If I’m experiencing a gambling problem, what can I do about it right away?
The first step in addressing your challenges is to acknowledge that gambling has become a problem in your life and recognize that it is possible to make a change. Practice relaxation exercises such as deep breathing to manage stress and urges to gamble. Spend time with supportive people who do not gamble, and talk with your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're experiencing. They may be able to provide support and help you find solutions that are right for you. Learn more steps you can take on our Gambling page.
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Reckless Behavior
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What can I do if I’ve noticed myself engaging in reckless behavior?
There are ways to prevent yourself from engaging in risky behavior. Plan to avoid situations that might lead to recklessness. For example, leave early or late to avoid rush-hour traffic, or arrange a ride home if you'll be drinking. Talking with your family members, close friends, or a health care provider may help you find support and resources to address your challenges. Learn more steps you can take on our Reckless Behavior page.
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