Mike’s second deployment in the Navy was difficult because he missed his family. After he got out, he faced financial challenges and felt hopeless. Recognizing he needed to stay strong to support his family, he reached out to VA. He is living well after depression treatment, and he knows he can get support whenever he needs it.
View Video TranscriptMike:
Hi, my name is Mike. I entered the Delayed Entry Program September of 1998. I had just started my senior year. I did not join the service until June 21st, 1999 in the Navy. I enlisted in as a cryptologic technician technical, CTT. I greatly enjoyed the Navy as an individual. I enjoyed my job on the sea, I loved the water, the blue, but it was lonely when I started having children. My first deployment I had been married maybe a year or so...the second deployment my daughter was a little girl. I cried like a baby and didn't mind anyone seeing it, I just hugged her because I knew six months is a long time, so it was mixed emotions, and when I got out of the Navy, came home, had a job with my Dad, it went under.
Now I’ve got a house, no car, no job. I made a promise to my wife I’d always provide for her and be there for her. Here she is, struggling, don’t have money for groceries. The home was being foreclosed, the lights are out, we’re, you know, no power, no water. I battled stomach problems, I battled headaches, I got to understanding why people did suicide. I never got where I said, “Okay, how am I going to do it?” I didn’t want my kids to have a dad who committed suicide, so I never got that point, but I got to where I understood why people did it. That’s when I started to get help. That’s when I called the VA and said, “Here’s my feelings, what can you do for me?” And eventually they got me to a one-on-one therapist.
The first couple psychs I saw, they were very conscious on why I was feeling this way. This guy had a different idea. He says, “I don’t care why. You’ll always have these thoughts in the back of your mind, but it’ll be a different relationship, where you learn how to live with them, you ignore them, don’t let them impact your life, but you can’t get rid of them.” He taught me that your thoughts are not you and try to see your thoughts as a separate object, and that helped me a lot for some reason. I would go through that practice every time I feel depression or the thought or frustration or guilt or shame, I would try to just wait, let the feeling be there, but just picture myself away from it, and that’s what we spent about 18 weeks working on.
I’m not healed, per se, he’s right, I probably will fight these my whole life, but I have a much better control. I may go a year, I may go two years, but I’ll probably always find some way of keeping in touch, just because it does give me an outlet. When I can’t burden my wife with it or when she doesn’t have the answers for me, I’ll go somewhere that can, and it’s been a big blessing in my life, giving me an outlet.
Spirituality is a very delicate subject when depression and mental illness or whatever, mental health, because there’s that stigma that, “Well, you have God, you shouldn’t have depression,” you know, “If you’re depressed you’re just not praying enough,” but I was always talking to my pastor, I’ve always had a spiritual authority that I submitted to and he encouraged me, he says “No, that’s not the case. You take medicine for cholesterol, you know, mental illness is a disease that you can help. Don’t feel guilty, you don’t feel guilty for diabetes, you don’t feel guilty for getting the flu.”
You’re not weak. You’re not at fault. You know, you would laugh, if a grown man drowned in two inches of water, you’d call him an idiot because all you had to do was stand up. It’s the same thing not seeking help with the VA. All we’ve got to do is stand up and get help.
No matter what you may be experiencing, there is support for getting your life on a better track. Many, many Veterans have found the strength to reach out and make the connection.
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Learn what triggers episodes of noise or light irritation. Try making adjustments to computer and TV screens, and ensure you get the right amount of sleep. If you're taking medication and want to know if it could be affecting your sensitivity to noise or light, talk to your doctor. Certain drugs or medications may cause vision or hearing problems. Never stop taking a prescription without first consulting a medical professional. Learn more steps you can take on our Noise or Light Irritation page.
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To manage upsetting feelings after a nightmare, focus on what's real by touching and describing objects around you. If you're unable to sleep within 15 minutes, leave your bed briefly to wash your hands or drink water while avoiding any strenuous activity. Also, talk to your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're experiencing. They may be able to provide support and help you find solutions. Learn more steps you can take on our Nightmares page.
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What can I do about drinking or drug use?
There are many options for Veterans who want to cut down on or stop drinking alcohol or using drugs. One option is counseling, either one-on-one or in a group. Another involves medication to help reduce use. A third option is mutual-help groups. You can work with your doctor or counselor and try different types of treatment to find the one that's best for you. Learn more steps you can take on our Alcohol or Drug Misuse page.
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Gambling
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If I’m experiencing a gambling problem, what can I do about it right away?
The first step in addressing your challenges is to acknowledge that gambling has become a problem in your life and recognize that it is possible to make a change. Practice relaxation exercises such as deep breathing to manage stress and urges to gamble. Spend time with supportive people who do not gamble, and talk with your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're experiencing. They may be able to provide support and help you find solutions that are right for you. Learn more steps you can take on our Gambling page.
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Reckless Behavior
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What can I do if I’ve noticed myself engaging in reckless behavior?
There are ways to prevent yourself from engaging in risky behavior. Plan to avoid situations that might lead to recklessness. For example, leave early or late to avoid rush-hour traffic, or arrange a ride home if you'll be drinking. Talking with your family members, close friends, or a health care provider may help you find support and resources to address your challenges. Learn more steps you can take on our Reckless Behavior page.
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