Pat served in the Army during the Vietnam War. As a medic, he was affected by the numerous injuries he treated and the stressful environment. Later, he had his first panic attack. He tried to bury his feelings. He drank heavily and wanted to end his life. He found resources for support at VA to become sober and turned his life around.
View Video TranscriptPat:
My name's Pat. I was in the Army Medical Corp in Vietnam. They sent me north to Da Nang. I was attached to the first of the 46th Infantry. We also worked at a aide station. As a medic, it would get very hectic. Choppers flying in, dumping off the wounded, and you'd take care of them as best you could, really just affected me.
I had my first panic attack, which I didn’t even know what the hell that was, at the time, where you’d walk onto a ward, and the beds sort of just lined up, both sides, all walls, just hundreds of beds in an open bay ward, and I started sweating, having heart palpations. I swear to God I thought I was having a heart attack and dying. When I got out of the Army, it was like, okay, you’ve been through a real shitty deal. You had your life before. Then, you went in the Army. So, let’s just take this experience, put it in a box, put a bow on it, stuff in the shelf and go on, and that’s what I tried to do. I went to college and started working in business and worked my way up. I was drinking, drinking pretty heavy. In a black out, I tried to commit suicide. My wife got the gun away from me, and I woke up the next morning, and she said, “Do you know what you did last night?” And I said, “Nah, not really.” And she said, “Well, you were sitting on the deck with a shotgun in your mouth.” So, that was a real wakeup call, and I said, “Damn, you know, I got to do something.” So, a friend of mine worked for the VA, and he got me into a program. It was sort of a dry out kind of lockdown program for about two weeks, I think it was.
You got a big dilemma when you have coexisting conditions, and mine was alcohol and PTSD. So, I’d dry out for periods of time, and still had the mental issues going on. What I finally came to realize about three years ago was that you really can’t deal with things going around in your head while your brain is screwed up, be it drugs or alcohol. So, that’s when I really got serious about addressing the issues. It was a great experience to finally get to a VA that did have a more comprehensive PTSD group. I entered it, first of all, sober, and these people really care, and they’re professionals, and through certain techniques, cognitive behavioral therapy, to be able to understand why you’re having these feelings of guilt, safety, intimacy, all the facets of life really.
I don’t feel like I have to be so angry all the time, and I don’t feel like I’m threatened as much, and life is so much easier, so much more peaceful existence and you know once I surrendered and say, “Well, you know, you’ve got...” and you accept it, then you can really start dealing with it. There’s no magic wand. There’s no magic pill that you can take. You have to put forth the effort, but if you do, the rewards are remarkable.
No matter what you may be experiencing, there is support for getting your life on a better track. Many, many Veterans have found the strength to reach out and make the connection.
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Learn what triggers episodes of noise or light irritation. Try making adjustments to computer and TV screens, and ensure you get the right amount of sleep. If you're taking medication and want to know if it could be affecting your sensitivity to noise or light, talk to your doctor. Certain drugs or medications may cause vision or hearing problems. Never stop taking a prescription without first consulting a medical professional. Learn more steps you can take on our Noise or Light Irritation page.
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Nightmares
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To manage upsetting feelings after a nightmare, focus on what's real by touching and describing objects around you. If you're unable to sleep within 15 minutes, leave your bed briefly to wash your hands or drink water while avoiding any strenuous activity. Also, talk to your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're experiencing. They may be able to provide support and help you find solutions. Learn more steps you can take on our Nightmares page.
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There are many options for Veterans who want to cut down on or stop drinking alcohol or using drugs. One option is counseling, either one-on-one or in a group. Another involves medication to help reduce use. A third option is mutual-help groups. You can work with your doctor or counselor and try different types of treatment to find the one that's best for you. Learn more steps you can take on our Alcohol or Drug Misuse page.
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Gambling
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If I’m experiencing a gambling problem, what can I do about it right away?
The first step in addressing your challenges is to acknowledge that gambling has become a problem in your life and recognize that it is possible to make a change. Practice relaxation exercises such as deep breathing to manage stress and urges to gamble. Spend time with supportive people who do not gamble, and talk with your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're experiencing. They may be able to provide support and help you find solutions that are right for you. Learn more steps you can take on our Gambling page.
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Reckless Behavior
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What can I do if I’ve noticed myself engaging in reckless behavior?
There are ways to prevent yourself from engaging in risky behavior. Plan to avoid situations that might lead to recklessness. For example, leave early or late to avoid rush-hour traffic, or arrange a ride home if you'll be drinking. Talking with your family members, close friends, or a health care provider may help you find support and resources to address your challenges. Learn more steps you can take on our Reckless Behavior page.
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