Stuart’s job in the Navy was exhausting and stressful. When he returned from the Persian Gulf, he had relationship difficulties and legal troubles. He drank heavily and had angry outbursts. His wife connected him with VA care, and he was treated for alcohol problems. Support enabled him to regain self-respect and confidence.
View Video TranscriptStuart:
My name's Stuart and I served in the United States Navy from ‘86 to ‘92. I really enjoyed it and when it came time for me to make a choice about reenlisting or not reenlisting, I chose not to. And, reflecting on it here lately, there were a lot more good times than bad times obviously but the bad times were really stressful, really, really physically exhausting, mentally exhausting. You know trying to come to grips with the fact that the side of my engine room could blow in at any moment and I just had to kinda wrap my head around that and do my job anyway.
When I first came back, I was very angry at myself, angry at everybody, at the wife I had at the time. I would just blow up for no reason. I was drinking really heavily pretty much on a constant basis and I surrounded myself with other people who also drank heavily, indulged in drugs.
I was on a really heavy drinking binge one night and my wife had already had me thrown in jail before for public intox, cursing at her, cursing at my daughter, really inappropriate behavior. And my wife in her wisdom, decided to call the VA and ask if they had some kind of program that would help me help myself to get away from the alcohol. And even in my blind, drunk stupor at the time, I remember my wife handing me the phone, she handed me her cell phone and she says, “Here this is the lady from the VA, she needs to talk to you.” The lady on the other end of the line says, “Do you need some help with your drinking?” And just in a moment of clarity I was like “Yeah, I do.”
I completed the 28-day program. I lost a lot of stuff. My golf clubs went into pawn, my guitars went into pawn, you know all my toys and stuff, I lost a bunch of those. But I gained myself back and that’s worth more than anything. I was able to look myself in the mirror and say, alright, you needed help, you got some help, way to go. And it was awesome.
I’ve talked to Psychiatrists about the stresses of being in the combat situations that I was in and help worked through those. Understand why I turned to drugs and alcohol. You’re treated with respect and dignity and courtesy and if you need to talk to a Psychiatrist or Psychologist or Doctors, they’re always available to talk to you. A lot of the staff up there are Veterans, Combat Veterans. So, they know the where’s and the what’s and how to identify and how to relate.
There were tons of different tools and things that I learned when I was in the counseling classes and even now I still go to a process group once a week. And a lot of those have to do with, how to deal with anxiety, how to basically rebuild your life in a nondrinking, non-drug addicted way. And I loved going to it. It’s a great bunch of guys, our facilitator is great.
As far as me personally, since I got out of the 28-day program, I’ve gone back to college, I just completed my second semester of like pre-med classes and got a GPA of a 3.64 now.
I decided to change me. I wasn’t happy with the way I was. I was not proud of who I had become. And, I realized that I have an opportunity right now to get my act together and move forward in a positive way and there’s no shame in asking for help. There’s no shame in asking for extra ammo when you’re in a foxhole. There’s no shame in utilizing your resources. There’s no shame in getting the help you need, when you need it.
No matter what you may be experiencing, there is support for getting your life on a better track. Many, many Veterans have found the strength to reach out and make the connection.
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If you are experiencing dizziness, lie down for a few minutes with your head slightly elevated. Lifestyle changes such as drinking more water, getting enough rest, and avoiding alcohol or drugs can help. Medications and medical conditions such as heart disease or ear issues can also cause dizziness; consult a medical provider if you get dizzy on a regular basis. If you suddenly lose function in part of your body (e.g., arm weakness, face drooping, difficulty speaking) along with experiencing vertigo, this can indicate a serious problem, such as a stroke. Call 911 and seek medical help immediately. Learn more steps you can take on our Dizziness page.
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A flashback can be distressing for you and those around you. Try grounding yourself by focusing on details of your surroundings or neutral physical sensations, such as the feeling of your feet on the floor. Call someone you trust and tell them what is happening. Your family, friends, or health care provider may be able to provide support and help you deal with your flashbacks. Learn more steps you can take on our Flashbacks page.
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Learn what triggers episodes of noise or light irritation. Try making adjustments to computer and TV screens, and ensure you get the right amount of sleep. If you're taking medication and want to know if it could be affecting your sensitivity to noise or light, talk to your doctor. Certain drugs or medications may cause vision or hearing problems. Never stop taking a prescription without first consulting a medical professional. Learn more steps you can take on our Noise or Light Irritation page.
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Nightmares
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To manage upsetting feelings after a nightmare, focus on what's real by touching and describing objects around you. If you're unable to sleep within 15 minutes, leave your bed briefly to wash your hands or drink water while avoiding any strenuous activity. Also, talk to your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're experiencing. They may be able to provide support and help you find solutions. Learn more steps you can take on our Nightmares page.
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What can I do about drinking or drug use?
There are many options for Veterans who want to cut down on or stop drinking alcohol or using drugs. One option is counseling, either one-on-one or in a group. Another involves medication to help reduce use. A third option is mutual-help groups. You can work with your doctor or counselor and try different types of treatment to find the one that's best for you. Learn more steps you can take on our Alcohol or Drug Misuse page.
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Gambling
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If I’m experiencing a gambling problem, what can I do about it right away?
The first step in addressing your challenges is to acknowledge that gambling has become a problem in your life and recognize that it is possible to make a change. Practice relaxation exercises such as deep breathing to manage stress and urges to gamble. Spend time with supportive people who do not gamble, and talk with your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're experiencing. They may be able to provide support and help you find solutions that are right for you. Learn more steps you can take on our Gambling page.
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Reckless Behavior
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What can I do if I’ve noticed myself engaging in reckless behavior?
There are ways to prevent yourself from engaging in risky behavior. Plan to avoid situations that might lead to recklessness. For example, leave early or late to avoid rush-hour traffic, or arrange a ride home if you'll be drinking. Talking with your family members, close friends, or a health care provider may help you find support and resources to address your challenges. Learn more steps you can take on our Reckless Behavior page.
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