Steven was hit by an IED while serving in the Marines. Waking up in the hospital, he felt defeated. He thought he had let everyone down. He saw a Navy counselor, who supported him through his recovery. Counseling and connecting with other Veterans were key parts of his recovery.
View Video TranscriptSteven:
My name is Steven, a United States Marine. I was stationed in Okinawa, Japan, went to Camp Lejeune and then from there when to Iraq in 2005, did convoy security and route clearance for IEDs out there, and found a lot of IEDs and one finally got me. I woke up at the Naval hospital in Bethesda, Maryland. Still to this day I don't know exactly what happened. They said I was conscious but I don't remember anything. That was difficult, but it was also difficult because I woke up and my hands are tied down to the bed, I have tubes all in my mouth, I can partially see, I don't know where I'm at. That probably for me was the most scariest moment of— just the confusion, hopelessness, and then my parents came in the room and I just started crying, and I felt defeated, I felt weak. I felt like I'd let everybody down. I was around a bunch of guys that were lost legs, limbs. The hidden wounds you knew they were there but you still didn't talk about it.
I went to go see a Navy counselor there. He’d come in and, “Hey, so how are you feeling?” “I don’t know, I’m feeling fine.” “Oh, how are you sleeping?” “I guess I’m sleeping fine, I don’t know.” “How’s your sex life?” “Wait—why are you asking me this? What—why are you asking me this stuff?” And he was like, “Well, I need to get to know you,” so it was a lot different. This guy wasn’t just sitting there telling you that something’s wrong with you. This is letting us figure it out for ourselves, and he said, “Okay, well hey, why don’t we go out to lunch one day,” and so we go out to a mall. He said, “We’re going to go to the food court,” and I said “Nope, not going in there.” Because you start to feel—you get that feeling where your chest starts getting tight, you’re having trouble breathing, you start sweating a little bit, and that’s the, I guess you could call it a panic attack but it’s the symptom, one of the symptoms of PTSD and you start feeling it. And he said “All right, well, we don’t have to go in there,” but he would keep bringing me back to the same place, and slowly I’d be able to go in there and the term for all that was exposure therapy, which really helped me out.
I still have problems sleeping, I still get the nightmares, I still get the intrusive thoughts, but being able to talk to other Veterans, that’s the way that I heal, because I’m constantly getting it out of me. We’re always given an objective, we’re always given a mission. When we come back, we don’t have that, and so we feel lost. We don’t have direction, so what I did was I started volunteering at the VA. I started becoming a part of military organizations.
I can go watch movies and sit with a crowd all around me. Do I get the tingles? Yeah, I get the tingles and I still kind of look around and check around but I almost feel like—y—I still feel, I feel safe, I feel like if something happens I’m the guy who’s going to do something about it. I can drive, I can get out and talk to new people, which before you just didn’t. You kept to yourself because you felt like people were judging you. You can’t sit around and blame the military, you can’t blame your injuries, you can’t blame the enemy, you can’t blame the VA, you’ve got to be proactive. You’ve got to do something about it. You’ve got to reach out.
No matter what you may be experiencing, there is support for getting your life on a better track. Many, many Veterans have found the strength to reach out and make the connection.
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Learn what triggers episodes of noise or light irritation. Try making adjustments to computer and TV screens, and ensure you get the right amount of sleep. If you're taking medication and want to know if it could be affecting your sensitivity to noise or light, talk to your doctor. Certain drugs or medications may cause vision or hearing problems. Never stop taking a prescription without first consulting a medical professional. Learn more steps you can take on our Noise or Light Irritation page.
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Nightmares
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To manage upsetting feelings after a nightmare, focus on what's real by touching and describing objects around you. If you're unable to sleep within 15 minutes, leave your bed briefly to wash your hands or drink water while avoiding any strenuous activity. Also, talk to your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're experiencing. They may be able to provide support and help you find solutions. Learn more steps you can take on our Nightmares page.
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There are many options for Veterans who want to cut down on or stop drinking alcohol or using drugs. One option is counseling, either one-on-one or in a group. Another involves medication to help reduce use. A third option is mutual-help groups. You can work with your doctor or counselor and try different types of treatment to find the one that's best for you. Learn more steps you can take on our Alcohol or Drug Misuse page.
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Gambling
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If I’m experiencing a gambling problem, what can I do about it right away?
The first step in addressing your challenges is to acknowledge that gambling has become a problem in your life and recognize that it is possible to make a change. Practice relaxation exercises such as deep breathing to manage stress and urges to gamble. Spend time with supportive people who do not gamble, and talk with your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're experiencing. They may be able to provide support and help you find solutions that are right for you. Learn more steps you can take on our Gambling page.
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Reckless Behavior
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What can I do if I’ve noticed myself engaging in reckless behavior?
There are ways to prevent yourself from engaging in risky behavior. Plan to avoid situations that might lead to recklessness. For example, leave early or late to avoid rush-hour traffic, or arrange a ride home if you'll be drinking. Talking with your family members, close friends, or a health care provider may help you find support and resources to address your challenges. Learn more steps you can take on our Reckless Behavior page.
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