Dealing with the death of friends

Justin:

We were patrolling one day and, you know, in our Bradleys and I was in the gun and, you know, our driver, we were going down a dirt road and we hit an IED and he ended up losing his foot because of that. And so, you know, that happened which was kind of really shook you up a little bit. So, I got one day off after this had happened.

The very next patrol I went out on, we hit another one. So, it just all kind of came in at one time, but then after that had happened, probably one of the most significant was one of my really good friends was, they were out patrolling and they hit a large IED and two of ‘em were killed. They were both in the same Humvee and one of my friends lost his legs and so.

Yeah. I listened to the whole thing like unfolding on the radio. Just randomly, we were doing radio checks because we were going on a mission the next day and I was about to do a radio check with our headquarters and I heard, you know, one of my friends call in over the radio. Called in and just said, they had hit an IED and it was really bad. So that, just listening to that whole thing unfold and feeling so incredibly helpless, like, that was probably one of the more significant ones that had happened.

You know, for I think it was a couple of days where you don’t really process it all, like it’s just not. It’s just like you’re kind of every waking moment is just like a reoccurring nightmare or like you’re just living it and, you know, it’s bad enough losing a really good friend, but knowing that the next day you’ve gotta go out to that same, you know, that same area, that same spot and just do your job, you know. When you’re in that environment, you really don’t have, I mean, we had a Memorial Service which was cool, but, you know, like you never really have closure on something like that. I mean because you’re really, you know, reliving it every single day, I mean just because, you know, the same thing could happen to, you know, me, any number of my friends. You know, it’s like at the drop of a hat, something could happen again.