Ray was wounded during Vietnam, and many of his friends were killed. When he got home, he tried to bury his experiences and kept busy. He felt on edge and sometimes got angry. When his symptoms worsened, he reached out to VA. In counseling, Ray opened up about his experiences in Vietnam. Sharing his story has helped him move past his challenges.
View Video TranscriptRay:
My name's Ray and I was in the Military from '67 to '70. I was an Infantry Squad Leader. I went to Vietnam in '68. I was there for almost three months and I got wounded. I was in Khe Sanh and I went into the A Shau Valley and I came out of the A Shau Valley and came back to Camp Evans and we had a two-day stand down. We was getting rocket fire all the time from out in the sand dunes so, we went out in the sand dunes and actually that's where I got wounded at. A friend of mine was killed and that was a lot of hatred there for me okay because he was sitting right beside me and a sniper shot him right between the eyes.
And then when I come home, of course the Army just turned us loose, okay. I got a job, I worked for them for 36 years. I put Vietnam out of my mind, okay. I did drink, you know. I never took drugs. I just said, “I’m gonna make something of myself.” Okay, so I got into my work, and every job I had, I did a good job on it. And if I get to having too much problems, I actually would take on more work. I worked 16 hours a day at my job and come home and raise a garden, mow the yard and keep my house up.
When I come home, I just was a different person and if somebody should throw a firecracker, I’m on the ground okay. The Fourth of July, I can’t stand it. I try to stay in the house because all the neighbors shoot fireworks off. And if… like if a firecracker goes off and I don’t know it’s going off, my heart starts pounding. And I had an anger problem. Every time something didn’t go right for me, I’d get mad, okay.
I retired in 2005 and it was good for about a year, you know. I kept myself really busy doing things around the house that I always wanted to do, okay. And then after that year, things began to change. I began to have the nightmares more often and the night sweats more often, and I’d wake up screaming and hollering. I went to the VA and actually talked to my doctor and she said, “Ray, we can get you in to see a counselor.” So, I got in to see my counselor. It wasn’t easy for me to go, okay. But you know when you have a nightmare and hit your wife, or you go off the handle on her all the time, and you can’t tell your kids that you love them, you’ve got to get some help, okay. And I realized it, okay. It wasn’t easy, but I went. When she started to talk to me, I said “I ain’t talkin about no damn Vietnam now, okay.” And she says “Okay, we won’t talk about it.” Well, it took about a couple months, three months, and I seen her about every week. After a while, I finally broke down and told her, and we both cried, okay. And that’s when she told me, she said “You ain’t less a man because you cry, that’s just because you feel for somebody.” So anyway, I’ve been going to her ever since and she’s helped me a lot.
I’m in a group a Vietnam group down at the VA in Lawrenceburg. We don’t actually talk about Vietnam every time, but when we go in, our counselor.. the counselor there will say “How was your week?” And we’ll go around a circle, there’s about nine or ten of us in there.
When I go into a restaurant, I’m gonna look for a way out. I don’t sit in the middle, I sit my back to the wall, and there’s going to be a door pretty close to me, okay. And you know my wife says “Ray, Ray, Ray, you’re not in Vietnam.” That’s what she tells me all the time, “You’re not in Vietnam, your home.” Used to be we wouldn’t go anywhere where there’s a lot of people, okay. And there’s times that I can’t. I still go, but I might not stay, I might leave, okay.
And she knows why, but me and her, we do a lot of things together. We go fishing, like we got a fishing boat, we go fishing. Everywhere I go, she goes. And everywhere she goes, I go most of the time. We do a lot together. You know, we go to our family functions together. I could tell any of the Veterans, you know, if you think you need help, go get help, okay.
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To manage upsetting feelings after a nightmare, focus on what's real by touching and describing objects around you. If you're unable to sleep within 15 minutes, leave your bed briefly to wash your hands or drink water while avoiding any strenuous activity. Also, talk to your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're experiencing. They may be able to provide support and help you find solutions. Learn more steps you can take on our Nightmares page.
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There are many options for Veterans who want to cut down on or stop drinking alcohol or using drugs. One option is counseling, either one-on-one or in a group. Another involves medication to help reduce use. A third option is mutual-help groups. You can work with your doctor or counselor and try different types of treatment to find the one that's best for you. Learn more steps you can take on our Alcohol or Drug Misuse page.
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The first step in addressing your challenges is to acknowledge that gambling has become a problem in your life and recognize that it is possible to make a change. Practice relaxation exercises such as deep breathing to manage stress and urges to gamble. Spend time with supportive people who do not gamble, and talk with your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're experiencing. They may be able to provide support and help you find solutions that are right for you. Learn more steps you can take on our Gambling page.
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Reckless Behavior
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What can I do if I’ve noticed myself engaging in reckless behavior?
There are ways to prevent yourself from engaging in risky behavior. Plan to avoid situations that might lead to recklessness. For example, leave early or late to avoid rush-hour traffic, or arrange a ride home if you'll be drinking. Talking with your family members, close friends, or a health care provider may help you find support and resources to address your challenges. Learn more steps you can take on our Reckless Behavior page.
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