While serving in the Navy, Carla was sexually assaulted by one of her superiors. She blamed herself for what happened. After she left the service, she experienced relationship problems and felt hopeless. When she reached out for VA support, she was connected to treatment and learned effective ways for overcoming her challenges.
View Video TranscriptCarla:
My name is Carla. I served in the US Navy from 1980 to 1987. I was stationed at Bermuda, New Orleans, Oceania and Norfolk, Virginia. I took care of all the enlisted records and did education and training. I also made ID cards for active duty and dependents.
I joined the Navy because I wanted to travel, and I thought it would be a good way to advance. I loved meeting all the different people. I made some great friends when I was in the military.
There was a lot of sexual harassment going on, even in 1980 when it was supposed to be the new Navy. Someone who was superior in rank to me, we attended an event. I got very inebriated and this person took advantage of me. And I had to see this person almost every day. So, it was very difficult for me. I was embarrassed. I was ashamed. I didn’t understand. I thought maybe it was my fault that the person took advantage of me.
When I got out of the Navy, I became a military wife. I wanted to trust people, but I didn’t, especially men. I didn’t go out by myself. If I drank, I stayed home because I was too afraid of other people. I’d have panic attacks. My ability to cope with stress was very limited. And still, you know, I didn’t seek help. I was still ashamed.
It made it difficult to hold down a job. My relationships suffered as a result. It had an affect on everything; my children, my family, my employment because my ability to cope with any stress was very limited. I had spiraled down into a dark depression. I found myself isolating myself from my friends and family. And it wasn’t working. I was having suicidal thoughts.
I woke up one day and I was just…I didn’t think I could take it anymore, and there were only two options. Either seek help or commit suicide. I decided to seek help, and I’m glad I did.
I went to the VA. They decided, I decided too, that I needed the inpatient to get my medications right and to get some counseling that I needed right away. So, I stayed there for a week. And talked to counselors, talked to social workers.
It’s worked out very well for me. I go to group counseling once a week. I see a therapist and psychiatrist for my medication. Everyone’s very helpful.
I like the individual therapy because I can say things that I can’t necessarily say in group therapy. But I really like the group therapy because it’s all women and a lot of us have similar circumstances. And we’re friends now, and we keep in contact. I don’t isolate myself anymore. I try to get out. Now, I won’t tell you that I’m cured, but I’m in a much better position than I was back in 2011.
I have reconnected with family and friends. I am not employed, but I am looking for work. My anxiety is a lot better. I don’t have the panic attacks…I still have a few, but not like I did before. I am living on my own. I wish I would’ve went sooner after I’d been discharged instead of waiting for so long and suffering for so long because now I’m in a much better place than I was before.
Anyone who has physical or mental problems and is a Veteran should seek help from the VA. They’re very helpful, very understanding. They have a women’s clinic. They have therapy just for women, therapists just for women. And they understand women’s issues. It’s meant the world to me. And I take one day at a time and the VA is responsible for my survival.
No matter what you may be experiencing, there is support for getting your life on a better track. Many, many Veterans have found the strength to reach out and make the connection.
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There are ways to prevent yourself from engaging in risky behavior. Plan to avoid situations that might lead to recklessness. For example, leave early or late to avoid rush-hour traffic, or arrange a ride home if you'll be drinking. Talking with your family members, close friends, or a health care provider may help you find support and resources to address your challenges. Learn more steps you can take on our Reckless Behavior page.
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