Dawn, an Army Veteran, served in Iraq, where she saw a lot of combat. When she came home, she became easily frustrated with her family. She had trouble sleeping, and driving left her on edge. Dawn decided to go to VA, and she tried out different counselors until she found the best fit. Now, she’s back in school and living well.
View Video TranscriptDawn:
Hi, my name is Dawn. I joined in May of 1996 when I was 17. My parents very reluctantly signed for me to join because Bosnia was going on at the time.
I’ve been a medic in the Mass National Guard since then. I had one deployment to Iraq from December 2003, and then we came home March 2005.
In 2004, we got hit with mortars a lot. We were in a very small area. We were low. We didn’t have a high ground point, so there were bridges and hills and we’d always get hit with mortars, rockets, small-arms fire. We had IEDs going off all over the place.
The worst one was December 21st, 2004. It was like 12:05 and a guy had dressed up in an Iraqi National Guard uniform, walked into our chow hall, and blew himself up. He killed about — I want to say it was 17 people that died instantly with the explosion.
While we were there, it didn’t affect us while we were there, or at least we didn’t think it did.
When I first came home, just happy to be home. I was very happy to see my family. And for whatever reason, I was fine with everyone else, but with my parents, I was very angry at them. No matter what they asked me, I’m like, “Really? We have to go through this again? I already told you this.” Or, I’d be telling a story and I’d use an acronym and my mom would be like, “What does that mean?” I’m like, “Are you kidding me? How many times do I have to tell you what that means? Just learn it!” And, anyone else I’d be like patient and explain, but I knew like I could blow up at my parents and they’re not going anywhere.
So, my biggest symptoms of PTSD, I didn’t sleep, or slept too much. I would be angry at things that made absolutely no sense to be angry — like, if I couldn’t tie my shoe the way I wanted to, I would start yelling at my shoe. So, irrational anger. Driving, because I did a lot of driving when I was overseas. And for the first, well, even once in a while even still now, almost 10 years later, if I go up to a bridge, I have a hard time going through the same lane that I came in. So I have the opportunity to switch a lane, I will switch a lane if I can.
Or if I see somebody walking on a bridge I kind of freeze up and have to try to pretend that I’m not going under a bridge.
So I actually ended up working for my National Guard unit doing medical records. I was in a little hole; I was by myself. Didn’t have to deal with anybody but military people, and I did pretty good. And that’s actually how I got offered the job to do the post-deployment health reassessments was through that.
I got to talk to hundreds of the guys and girls that had come back, and it was kind of funny because at the time, I hadn’t really gone to the VA for anything. And I knew I was having issues at that point. I didn’t sleep well; I was angry all the time.
And so finally I was like, “Well, I’ve been preaching this for a while. Maybe I should try it.” So that’s when I decided to go get screened by our OIF/OEF guy, who was always like, “You should come in. You should come in,” every time I saw him. I’m like, “Oh, I’m coming. I’ll be there. Don’t worry.” And so that was the first time I had gone to get treatment.
I had a really hard time with counselling at first because the first person I had was not a Veteran and never served. And she was very nice, but I just didn’t want to talk to her anymore. So, I probably sat down with three or four people before I found somebody that I liked and connected with. And my counsellor that I liked, suggested I went to go see a psychiatrist. So, I’m still with my psychiatrist. I’m still on medication. And I notice a huge difference in myself.
I am able to keep it together enough to finally go to nursing school. I’m in my second year of getting my associate’s RN. For a long time, I was not really afraid but kind of apprehensive about going back to school because of my memory issues.
The medication definitely has kept me moving in a good direction and I could see very easily how without it, I would not be where I am today because I wouldn’t go to firework shows with my son, who loves them, I wouldn’t take him to Patriots games or Red Sox games because I cannot stand crowds, and even though I’m uncomfortable when I’m in them, I can physically be there when I’m on my medication.
Keep with it. Even though it seems like it’s not working, it really is. And just because one thing didn’t work, don’t give up on it. Find a different counsellor. Find a different medication. Go to the Vet center. Go to the VA. Use TRICARE. Find somebody that you can connect with and get help, because it does make a huge difference.
No matter what you may be experiencing, there is support for getting your life on a better track. Many, many Veterans have found the strength to reach out and make the connection.
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If you find yourself living with guilt or remorse about a past action or inaction, try to set aside time to think about your feelings. Remember that everyone has things they would have done differently—but no one can change the past or predict the future. Sometimes the experience is worse if you keep your feelings to yourself. Telling someone, like a family member or friend, about your regrets or guilty feelings can be a good first step to overcoming them. Learn more steps you can take on our Guilt page.
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If you are experiencing loss of interest or pleasure, try to plan a pleasurable activity daily, even if it's something small. Physical activity can improve your mood and help you sleep better. Talking to your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're feeling can also be helpful. They may be able to provide support and help you discover what is causing you to lose interest in things you once enjoyed. Learn more steps you can take on our Loss of Interest or Pleasure page.
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Allowing social withdrawal or social isolation to continue unchecked will only make your situation more challenging. Consider reaching out to your family members, friends, or health care provider, even though it may be the last thing you feel like doing. Connect with Veterans' groups or participate in clubs or hobbies focused on something you like. Research shows that spending time talking with others improves your mood and has a positive effect on health. Learn more steps you can take on our Social Withdrawal and Isolation page.
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If you are experiencing eating problems, find healthy ways to manage stress, such as taking a walk, going for a run, practicing relaxation exercises like deep breathing or meditation, or doing something nice for yourself like watching a movie or reading. Also, talk to your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're experiencing. They may be able to provide support and help you find solutions. Learn more steps you can take on our Eating Problems page.
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If you are experiencing headaches, try to rest with your eyes closed and head supported. Getting enough sleep, eating regularly without skipping meals, staying hydrated, and maintaining good posture are simple lifestyle changes that can help you avoid or reduce headaches. Talk to your doctor if you experience frequent or recurring headaches, which can be a sign of a medical issue. Learn more steps you can take on our Headaches page.
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There are several ways to improve your sleep right away: (1) Make your bedroom a place just for sleeping—not for activities like watching TV, reading, working, or listening to the radio. (2) Avoid light exposure from screens at night, which can throw off your sleep cycle. (3) Avoid alcohol and large meals near bedtime. (4) Maintain a regular sleep schedule. In addition, talking with your family members, close friends, or a health care provider may help you find support and resources to address your challenges. Learn more steps you can take on our Trouble Sleeping page.
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If you are experiencing confusion, try to slow down and focus on the task at hand. Take regular breaks to avoid feeling tired and overwhelmed. Avoid drinking alcohol, which can make confusion worse. Talk to your health care provider to determine whether a medical condition such as TBI might be contributing to the problem. You can also talk to a pharmacist about the possible effects of medications you're taking. Learn more steps you can take on our Confusion page.
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If you are experiencing difficulty concentrating, avoid distractions like loud music or the television. Develop a routine and try to stick to a regular schedule. Additionally, take regular breaks to prevent feeling tired. Talk to your health care provider to determine whether a condition such as TBI, ADHD, or anxiety might be contributing to the problem. You can also talk to a pharmacist about the possible effects of medications you're taking. Learn more steps you can take on our Difficulty Concentrating page.
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If you are experiencing dizziness, lie down for a few minutes with your head slightly elevated. Lifestyle changes such as drinking more water, getting enough rest, and avoiding alcohol or drugs can help. Medications and medical conditions such as heart disease or ear issues can also cause dizziness; consult a medical provider if you get dizzy on a regular basis. If you suddenly lose function in part of your body (e.g., arm weakness, face drooping, difficulty speaking) along with experiencing vertigo, this can indicate a serious problem, such as a stroke. Call 911 and seek medical help immediately. Learn more steps you can take on our Dizziness page.
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Flashbacks
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A flashback can be distressing for you and those around you. Try grounding yourself by focusing on details of your surroundings or neutral physical sensations, such as the feeling of your feet on the floor. Call someone you trust and tell them what is happening. Your family, friends, or health care provider may be able to provide support and help you deal with your flashbacks. Learn more steps you can take on our Flashbacks page.
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Noise or Light Irritation
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If I'm experiencing noise or light irritation, what can I do about it right away?
Learn what triggers episodes of noise or light irritation. Try making adjustments to computer and TV screens, and ensure you get the right amount of sleep. If you're taking medication and want to know if it could be affecting your sensitivity to noise or light, talk to your doctor. Certain drugs or medications may cause vision or hearing problems. Never stop taking a prescription without first consulting a medical professional. Learn more steps you can take on our Noise or Light Irritation page.
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Nightmares
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If I’m having nightmares, what can I do about it right away?
To manage upsetting feelings after a nightmare, focus on what's real by touching and describing objects around you. If you're unable to sleep within 15 minutes, leave your bed briefly to wash your hands or drink water while avoiding any strenuous activity. Also, talk to your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're experiencing. They may be able to provide support and help you find solutions. Learn more steps you can take on our Nightmares page.
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High-Risk Activities
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Alcohol or Drug Misuse
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What can I do about drinking or drug use?
There are many options for Veterans who want to cut down on or stop drinking alcohol or using drugs. One option is counseling, either one-on-one or in a group. Another involves medication to help reduce use. A third option is mutual-help groups. You can work with your doctor or counselor and try different types of treatment to find the one that's best for you. Learn more steps you can take on our Alcohol or Drug Misuse page.
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Gambling
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If I’m experiencing a gambling problem, what can I do about it right away?
The first step in addressing your challenges is to acknowledge that gambling has become a problem in your life and recognize that it is possible to make a change. Practice relaxation exercises such as deep breathing to manage stress and urges to gamble. Spend time with supportive people who do not gamble, and talk with your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're experiencing. They may be able to provide support and help you find solutions that are right for you. Learn more steps you can take on our Gambling page.
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Reckless Behavior
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What can I do if I’ve noticed myself engaging in reckless behavior?
There are ways to prevent yourself from engaging in risky behavior. Plan to avoid situations that might lead to recklessness. For example, leave early or late to avoid rush-hour traffic, or arrange a ride home if you'll be drinking. Talking with your family members, close friends, or a health care provider may help you find support and resources to address your challenges. Learn more steps you can take on our Reckless Behavior page.
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