A confrontation with a superior had a lasting impact on Cloyd. For years, he drank too much in an attempt to move on from his difficult past. Eventually, Cloyd found relief in VA group counseling, where he learned valuable coping skills. He quit drinking, and he now enjoys a strong relationship with his daughter.
View Video TranscriptCloyd:
I'm Cloyd and I was in The United States Army from October 1973 to October 1976. I was in combat support and as soon as I got there, I was eight months in service, they made me a platoon sergeant. I took care of them and I went TDY, teaching national guard and that sort of thing.
I had eight months left in the service; I had put all my equipment in the… Well, I had put it all in the shop. It had to be worked on and we had a major that was just out of Vietnam; he was right, fresh out of Vietnam and I went in to get my sitrep. He physically attacked me. When I told him that my equipment was in the shop and I believe, myself, that he had a flash back. So, anyways, he attacked me and I was screaming how I was putting the other guys in jeopardy. So, when we got back in out of the field I walked in and turned my stripes in and I told them I wasn’t fit to command and from then on… Well, my battalion commander sergeant major, he came over and gave me my strips back and just told me I was going to drive for the captain for my last eight months.
So, I went ahead and ETS; from then on, I would get a job and I’d quit and any time they tried to give me responsibility I would walk away. I kept trying to prove myself, that I wasn’t a coward. I started drinking. The problems don’t go away and drinking definitely didn’t help the problems that just complicated things. I had instances where I thought, well maybe if I just drive into that wall everything is over with; I don’t have to worry about it anymore. And I figured that the only way to deal with it was to just deal with it head on. I had to live life on life’s terms. There’s no easy way out.
It took quite a few years for finally one doctor, and I talked to him finally and told him what had happened in the service and he says, “Well, I think you have PTSD.” which was kind of a relief to find out really what was wrong after all those years and that everything in my life had followed through because of that. I joined what they called MHICM, which is a mental intensive care case management program. It’s a group of guys and women and we all just kind of go in we have lunch and then we have a session afterwards where we can all go in and we talk about how our week was. Then we discuss our problems with the group and they, kind of, give us feedback.
And it isn’t just PTSD, it’s also other mental illnesses and that sort of things and I feel really comfortable there. It’s given me safety and security. Learning the coping skills helps a lot and talking to the other guys and listening to what they’re doing helps me out 100% because if I had to do this completely by myself, I’d still be drunk and I wouldn’t be a very good father. I’ve been told I’m a real good father. I mean, she’s a great kid and she wouldn’t be that way if I wasn’t coping with these problems in a different manner than I was before she was born.
I really hope that me coming in here and talking will inspire maybe somebody else to think about what their life is like and what their experiences are and maybe they can relate to something I’ve said enough that they will go and talk to a counselor. I just hope I’ve said something that someone really needed to hear.
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If you find yourself living with guilt or remorse about a past action or inaction, try to set aside time to think about your feelings. Remember that everyone has things they would have done differently—but no one can change the past or predict the future. Sometimes the experience is worse if you keep your feelings to yourself. Telling someone, like a family member or friend, about your regrets or guilty feelings can be a good first step to overcoming them. Learn more steps you can take on our Guilt page.
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If you are experiencing dizziness, lie down for a few minutes with your head slightly elevated. Lifestyle changes such as drinking more water, getting enough rest, and avoiding alcohol or drugs can help. Medications and medical conditions such as heart disease or ear issues can also cause dizziness; consult a medical provider if you get dizzy on a regular basis. If you suddenly lose function in part of your body (e.g., arm weakness, face drooping, difficulty speaking) along with experiencing vertigo, this can indicate a serious problem, such as a stroke. Call 911 and seek medical help immediately. Learn more steps you can take on our Dizziness page.
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A flashback can be distressing for you and those around you. Try grounding yourself by focusing on details of your surroundings or neutral physical sensations, such as the feeling of your feet on the floor. Call someone you trust and tell them what is happening. Your family, friends, or health care provider may be able to provide support and help you deal with your flashbacks. Learn more steps you can take on our Flashbacks page.
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Learn what triggers episodes of noise or light irritation. Try making adjustments to computer and TV screens, and ensure you get the right amount of sleep. If you're taking medication and want to know if it could be affecting your sensitivity to noise or light, talk to your doctor. Certain drugs or medications may cause vision or hearing problems. Never stop taking a prescription without first consulting a medical professional. Learn more steps you can take on our Noise or Light Irritation page.
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Nightmares
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To manage upsetting feelings after a nightmare, focus on what's real by touching and describing objects around you. If you're unable to sleep within 15 minutes, leave your bed briefly to wash your hands or drink water while avoiding any strenuous activity. Also, talk to your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're experiencing. They may be able to provide support and help you find solutions. Learn more steps you can take on our Nightmares page.
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Video Title: “We’re stronger together.” Army Veteran Urges Women Veterans To Get Support
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What can I do about drinking or drug use?
There are many options for Veterans who want to cut down on or stop drinking alcohol or using drugs. One option is counseling, either one-on-one or in a group. Another involves medication to help reduce use. A third option is mutual-help groups. You can work with your doctor or counselor and try different types of treatment to find the one that's best for you. Learn more steps you can take on our Alcohol or Drug Misuse page.
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Gambling
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If I’m experiencing a gambling problem, what can I do about it right away?
The first step in addressing your challenges is to acknowledge that gambling has become a problem in your life and recognize that it is possible to make a change. Practice relaxation exercises such as deep breathing to manage stress and urges to gamble. Spend time with supportive people who do not gamble, and talk with your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're experiencing. They may be able to provide support and help you find solutions that are right for you. Learn more steps you can take on our Gambling page.
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Reckless Behavior
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Video Title: Veteran strength to reach recovery
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What can I do if I’ve noticed myself engaging in reckless behavior?
There are ways to prevent yourself from engaging in risky behavior. Plan to avoid situations that might lead to recklessness. For example, leave early or late to avoid rush-hour traffic, or arrange a ride home if you'll be drinking. Talking with your family members, close friends, or a health care provider may help you find support and resources to address your challenges. Learn more steps you can take on our Reckless Behavior page.
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