After serving in Iraq, Omar felt tense and anxious. He still had a go-go-go mentality, and he quickly became angry and impatient. After he had back surgery, he reached out to VA. He participated in Veteran Readiness and Employment and returned to school. Through therapy, Omar found ways to process his experiences, control his reactions, and move forward.
View Video TranscriptOmar:
My name is Omar and I served in Iraq from 2003 to 2004. I was in the Army. My job in the Army was Infantry. I started off as a machine gunner, dismount in a mounted mechanized unit. This one particular day I think we took like 22 casualties; that was pretty intense.
When I first got off the C-5 in Germany, when I first got out of Iraq and that door opened, I never thought I could smell clean air, but you can smell clean air and that was pretty amazing. The honeymoon didn’t last too long though. I mean, you know, if my girlfriend at the time had dropped some pan or something in the kitchen, I would kind of dive behind something. I still lived on a military post, so sometimes the artillery guys would be firing their rounds and that sounds a lot like, you know, mortar rounds. I did not like being there immediately coming back. I had hurt my back and it kept getting worse; it didn’t ever get better. I had this girlfriend, a German girl, who I kind of met, you know, before I deployed. The marriage was really nice at first, but I was still in a very go, go, go kind of mentality. I felt like I was doing it all for her, but she didn’t ever feel that that was the case. It was that I was always out doing stuff and I wouldn’t understand why she wouldn’t understand that, and so there was always a disconnect there.
I decided to get out school and go back into the military. It was easier. It was more structured. If my wife needed support, she would be able to have it. There would be other military wives there. I mean, it seemed like the perfect situation. So I went back in. Alaska was my next duty station. She took our son to Germany and kind of basically told me, “Look, I can’t do this anymore, not right now. I need to take a break and, you know, we’ll work things out.” That’s what she said and she never came back.
I reached out to the VA. I was like, “You know what? I just had this back surgery. I’m walking around with a cane right now and it’s pretty difficult for me to find work. What can I do?” And they were like, “Hey, why don’t you, you did get injured in the military. Why don’t you try vocational rehabilitation (now known as Veteran Readiness and Employment)?” So I started working with a VA counselor there, an education counselor, and slowly I got enrolled at the University of Alaska in Fairbanks, but in the back of my mind, you know, I still had to work through a lot of the issues that I had from before.
The times where I really started reaching out to the VA for mental health was actually when I moved down here to San Francisco. You really do have to hash out what has happened, go back, write about it, like write about it, write about it again and read it 30 times, like, yeah, it’s not fun, it’s not. But it has helped me not react to those stimuli, those memories the way that I used to. Probably the biggest symptom that I’ve noticed a change in would be my temperament. Before, I had no patience whatsoever, like no patience whatsoever. It’s supposed to happen, it’s supposed to happen now, and I think that’s an Army mentality. Slowing down, you know, not having as many anger issues, not letting things get to me. I have a lot of forward momentum, a lot of purpose and meaning. I always thought I could deal with whatever it was on my own, just go do your mission, go, go, go. You’re never alone and it helps so much when you can hear that from other people that have been in your shoes.
No matter what you may be experiencing, there is support for getting your life on a better track. Many, many Veterans have found the strength to reach out and make the connection.
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If you find yourself living with guilt or remorse about a past action or inaction, try to set aside time to think about your feelings. Remember that everyone has things they would have done differently—but no one can change the past or predict the future. Sometimes the experience is worse if you keep your feelings to yourself. Telling someone, like a family member or friend, about your regrets or guilty feelings can be a good first step to overcoming them. Learn more steps you can take on our Guilt page.
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If you are experiencing confusion, try to slow down and focus on the task at hand. Take regular breaks to avoid feeling tired and overwhelmed. Avoid drinking alcohol, which can make confusion worse. Talk to your health care provider to determine whether a medical condition such as TBI might be contributing to the problem. You can also talk to a pharmacist about the possible effects of medications you're taking. Learn more steps you can take on our Confusion page.
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If you are experiencing difficulty concentrating, avoid distractions like loud music or the television. Develop a routine and try to stick to a regular schedule. Additionally, take regular breaks to prevent feeling tired. Talk to your health care provider to determine whether a condition such as TBI, ADHD, or anxiety might be contributing to the problem. You can also talk to a pharmacist about the possible effects of medications you're taking. Learn more steps you can take on our Difficulty Concentrating page.
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If you are experiencing dizziness, lie down for a few minutes with your head slightly elevated. Lifestyle changes such as drinking more water, getting enough rest, and avoiding alcohol or drugs can help. Medications and medical conditions such as heart disease or ear issues can also cause dizziness; consult a medical provider if you get dizzy on a regular basis. If you suddenly lose function in part of your body (e.g., arm weakness, face drooping, difficulty speaking) along with experiencing vertigo, this can indicate a serious problem, such as a stroke. Call 911 and seek medical help immediately. Learn more steps you can take on our Dizziness page.
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Flashbacks
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A flashback can be distressing for you and those around you. Try grounding yourself by focusing on details of your surroundings or neutral physical sensations, such as the feeling of your feet on the floor. Call someone you trust and tell them what is happening. Your family, friends, or health care provider may be able to provide support and help you deal with your flashbacks. Learn more steps you can take on our Flashbacks page.
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Noise or Light Irritation
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If I'm experiencing noise or light irritation, what can I do about it right away?
Learn what triggers episodes of noise or light irritation. Try making adjustments to computer and TV screens, and ensure you get the right amount of sleep. If you're taking medication and want to know if it could be affecting your sensitivity to noise or light, talk to your doctor. Certain drugs or medications may cause vision or hearing problems. Never stop taking a prescription without first consulting a medical professional. Learn more steps you can take on our Noise or Light Irritation page.
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Nightmares
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To manage upsetting feelings after a nightmare, focus on what's real by touching and describing objects around you. If you're unable to sleep within 15 minutes, leave your bed briefly to wash your hands or drink water while avoiding any strenuous activity. Also, talk to your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're experiencing. They may be able to provide support and help you find solutions. Learn more steps you can take on our Nightmares page.
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High-Risk Activities
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What can I do about drinking or drug use?
There are many options for Veterans who want to cut down on or stop drinking alcohol or using drugs. One option is counseling, either one-on-one or in a group. Another involves medication to help reduce use. A third option is mutual-help groups. You can work with your doctor or counselor and try different types of treatment to find the one that's best for you. Learn more steps you can take on our Alcohol or Drug Misuse page.
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Gambling
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If I’m experiencing a gambling problem, what can I do about it right away?
The first step in addressing your challenges is to acknowledge that gambling has become a problem in your life and recognize that it is possible to make a change. Practice relaxation exercises such as deep breathing to manage stress and urges to gamble. Spend time with supportive people who do not gamble, and talk with your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're experiencing. They may be able to provide support and help you find solutions that are right for you. Learn more steps you can take on our Gambling page.
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Reckless Behavior
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What can I do if I’ve noticed myself engaging in reckless behavior?
There are ways to prevent yourself from engaging in risky behavior. Plan to avoid situations that might lead to recklessness. For example, leave early or late to avoid rush-hour traffic, or arrange a ride home if you'll be drinking. Talking with your family members, close friends, or a health care provider may help you find support and resources to address your challenges. Learn more steps you can take on our Reckless Behavior page.
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