Sandra hid her sadness while she served in the Navy. After she separated from service, she had trouble finding her purpose. Sandra joined the National Guard, but she became homeless and felt depressed. She went to VA and received housing and therapy through the HUD/VASH program. Now she’s back on her feet and encourages other Veterans to reach out.
View Video TranscriptSandra:
Hi, my name is Sandra and I was in the Navy, U.S. Navy from 1981 to 1991 and then I joined the National Guard in 2008 and got out in January of 2013. I was a Ship Serviceman. We handled the ships' activities onboard ship and then offshore, the commissary and all of the activities for the sailors offshore. I got pregnant and so the kid's father was in the military. He got out and went back to Baltimore. And so, I was between a rock and a hard place to make that decision whether or not I would stay or go with him to become a family. After I told my Petty Officer that I wanted to get out, he said, “Well, you need to think about that.” He said, “I'm going to give you three days to think about it.” But finally, when I thought about it, I just asked, “I said, I want to get out.”
And then, I realized in hindsight, I was depressed often times, in the military, when you so busy doing what the military requires you to do, you lose yourself to some degree. You got rank; you this; you that; but on the other side of the coin, you got issues and you try to keep it under wrap. You don’t want them to know. You go home at night and cry. You don’t want them to know that because you have to put this uniform on and be so strong. I got out, went back to Baltimore, dealt with the children with the family and the family issue didn’t work out, but I stayed with the kids and everything and I still wasn’t satisfied with my life. I said, “Something is missing here.” And I left, going to Bible College to Louisiana. When the president of the school asked me, “Did I want to come out to California to finish the school, I came out here.
As soon as I got here, I joined the National Guard. Once I got here, I was homeless. I didn’t have a place to stay, and so I went to VA. My therapist ruled the PTSD out for in terms of me being on the ship, but he did as he took his diagnosis and took the intake, he found out that I was depressed. Looking back, things had fell in place as to why this, that and the other, X, Y, and Z. I began to understand. I said, “Wow.” That’s how I was making the certain choices that I was making from under the umbrella of being depressed. All I did was just work the program in terms of taking my medicine and going to therapy and talking to my therapist and doing the steps that we would do in our treatment plan and I got the housing through the HUD-VASH; that’s a partnership with Section 8 and a partnership with the military, the HUD-VASH, Housing Assisted Living Program. It’s for people that have mental health issues or that need to see a therapist. So, you have to have a therapist through this program to be able to be attached to the Section 8. So, it all goes together. Please, if you need help, do not hesitate. Give yourself a chance, just open up and go to the program. Don’t worry about the labels because that program is there to help you and, “Wow,” you know, the things that I learned from those years of getting therapy for my depression really helped me.
No matter what you may be experiencing, there is support for getting your life on a better track. Many, many Veterans have found the strength to reach out and make the connection.
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If you find yourself living with guilt or remorse about a past action or inaction, try to set aside time to think about your feelings. Remember that everyone has things they would have done differently—but no one can change the past or predict the future. Sometimes the experience is worse if you keep your feelings to yourself. Telling someone, like a family member or friend, about your regrets or guilty feelings can be a good first step to overcoming them. Learn more steps you can take on our Guilt page.
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There are several ways to improve your sleep right away: (1) Make your bedroom a place just for sleeping—not for activities like watching TV, reading, working, or listening to the radio. (2) Avoid light exposure from screens at night, which can throw off your sleep cycle. (3) Avoid alcohol and large meals near bedtime. (4) Maintain a regular sleep schedule. In addition, talking with your family members, close friends, or a health care provider may help you find support and resources to address your challenges. Learn more steps you can take on our Trouble Sleeping page.
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If you are experiencing confusion, try to slow down and focus on the task at hand. Take regular breaks to avoid feeling tired and overwhelmed. Avoid drinking alcohol, which can make confusion worse. Talk to your health care provider to determine whether a medical condition such as TBI might be contributing to the problem. You can also talk to a pharmacist about the possible effects of medications you're taking. Learn more steps you can take on our Confusion page.
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If you are experiencing difficulty concentrating, avoid distractions like loud music or the television. Develop a routine and try to stick to a regular schedule. Additionally, take regular breaks to prevent feeling tired. Talk to your health care provider to determine whether a condition such as TBI, ADHD, or anxiety might be contributing to the problem. You can also talk to a pharmacist about the possible effects of medications you're taking. Learn more steps you can take on our Difficulty Concentrating page.
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If you are experiencing dizziness, lie down for a few minutes with your head slightly elevated. Lifestyle changes such as drinking more water, getting enough rest, and avoiding alcohol or drugs can help. Medications and medical conditions such as heart disease or ear issues can also cause dizziness; consult a medical provider if you get dizzy on a regular basis. If you suddenly lose function in part of your body (e.g., arm weakness, face drooping, difficulty speaking) along with experiencing vertigo, this can indicate a serious problem, such as a stroke. Call 911 and seek medical help immediately. Learn more steps you can take on our Dizziness page.
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Flashbacks
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A flashback can be distressing for you and those around you. Try grounding yourself by focusing on details of your surroundings or neutral physical sensations, such as the feeling of your feet on the floor. Call someone you trust and tell them what is happening. Your family, friends, or health care provider may be able to provide support and help you deal with your flashbacks. Learn more steps you can take on our Flashbacks page.
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Noise or Light Irritation
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If I'm experiencing noise or light irritation, what can I do about it right away?
Learn what triggers episodes of noise or light irritation. Try making adjustments to computer and TV screens, and ensure you get the right amount of sleep. If you're taking medication and want to know if it could be affecting your sensitivity to noise or light, talk to your doctor. Certain drugs or medications may cause vision or hearing problems. Never stop taking a prescription without first consulting a medical professional. Learn more steps you can take on our Noise or Light Irritation page.
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Nightmares
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If I’m having nightmares, what can I do about it right away?
To manage upsetting feelings after a nightmare, focus on what's real by touching and describing objects around you. If you're unable to sleep within 15 minutes, leave your bed briefly to wash your hands or drink water while avoiding any strenuous activity. Also, talk to your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're experiencing. They may be able to provide support and help you find solutions. Learn more steps you can take on our Nightmares page.
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High-Risk Activities
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Alcohol or Drug Misuse
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What can I do about drinking or drug use?
There are many options for Veterans who want to cut down on or stop drinking alcohol or using drugs. One option is counseling, either one-on-one or in a group. Another involves medication to help reduce use. A third option is mutual-help groups. You can work with your doctor or counselor and try different types of treatment to find the one that's best for you. Learn more steps you can take on our Alcohol or Drug Misuse page.
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Gambling
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If I’m experiencing a gambling problem, what can I do about it right away?
The first step in addressing your challenges is to acknowledge that gambling has become a problem in your life and recognize that it is possible to make a change. Practice relaxation exercises such as deep breathing to manage stress and urges to gamble. Spend time with supportive people who do not gamble, and talk with your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're experiencing. They may be able to provide support and help you find solutions that are right for you. Learn more steps you can take on our Gambling page.
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Reckless Behavior
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What can I do if I’ve noticed myself engaging in reckless behavior?
There are ways to prevent yourself from engaging in risky behavior. Plan to avoid situations that might lead to recklessness. For example, leave early or late to avoid rush-hour traffic, or arrange a ride home if you'll be drinking. Talking with your family members, close friends, or a health care provider may help you find support and resources to address your challenges. Learn more steps you can take on our Reckless Behavior page.
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