Dan left the Army to fix his marriage. Returning to civilian life was hard. He had nightmares and didn’t feel comfortable going out without his wife. When he realized he was frequently fighting anyone he could find, Dan reached out. He started seeing a VA counselor and found support at a Vet Center. Now, Dan has found relief after treatment.
View Video TranscriptDan:
My name's Dan. I served in the Army, the United States Army. I was 13 Bravo Field Artillery. I served from 1987 to 1991. My whole tour was, I was stationed in Germany just outside of Frankfurt. I took it very serious and I really removed the civilian side of myself. I noticed that I wasn't relating to my friends and family. The whole reason I got out was to save my marriage. We weren't fighting, it's not like we weren't getting along, but I really did start loving the Army and the military more than my wife especially after Desert Storm. That was like the icing, that's what took the last little bit of civilian, you know the civilian Dan away. It was, that person was gone.
Coming back to the world just a shock of everybody has a different haircut now, everybody talks different, everybody dresses different. Nobody talks like me, nobody acts like me, nobody thinks like me. I short circuited, you know the severe nightmares, the severe social anxiety, not being able to be around crowds, I couldn't go to stores, things like that and over the years that got worse and worse to the point where I wouldn't go anywhere without my wife except maybe a couple, like a sporting goods store or something, anyplace that had weapons, guns, because I was comfortable, it was weird.
So, I became a recluse. I did drink, but I didn't do it all the time. You know, I would go out and drink, but what I would do was I would go out and go to a bar and try to find the biggest nastiest person in there I possibly could and I would do whatever I had to, to start a fight and one night I was in an alley and I was beating, fighting this guy and a friend of mine came out to look for me and he found me and he stopped it. I realized every time during one of these fights somebody had to stop me and what if somebody isn't there to stop me sometime and I actually, what if I kill somebody. I realized needed help and I went to the VA. I even told my wife, I said, "I need help." And it was hard, it was incredibly hard to admit that I needed help.
I started seeing a psychiatrist and the first one didn’t work. You have to find the right, the right one and I did finally find a good counselor there and then also the Vet Center. I started getting involved with the Vet Center. The VA referred me there. So, between the two I was able to start integrating myself back into society and if I hadn't gone to the VA I would not be sitting in this chair.
When I was diagnosed with PTSD it was, I did get some relief because now I have something to look at. I've been told what, why I act the way I act. Every Marine, soldier, airman, you give them a mission they're going to succeed, and my mission was to live with PTSD. What I could relay to another Veteran is, you know, we were there for each other on the field and now we're here for each other in the world. We are the only ones that understand each other. If you have an issue, if you're at the end of that road and it doesn't look like there's any way out, go to the VA because they have people there that understand and they have people there that care and they will do anything and everything they can to help you. We've sacrificed so much, sacrificing a life or your quality of life is unacceptable. Don't give up on yourself. Go get the help you need.
No matter what you may be experiencing, there is support for getting your life on a better track. Many, many Veterans have found the strength to reach out and make the connection.
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If you are experiencing dizziness, lie down for a few minutes with your head slightly elevated. Lifestyle changes such as drinking more water, getting enough rest, and avoiding alcohol or drugs can help. Medications and medical conditions such as heart disease or ear issues can also cause dizziness; consult a medical provider if you get dizzy on a regular basis. If you suddenly lose function in part of your body (e.g., arm weakness, face drooping, difficulty speaking) along with experiencing vertigo, this can indicate a serious problem, such as a stroke. Call 911 and seek medical help immediately. Learn more steps you can take on our Dizziness page.
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Flashbacks
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A flashback can be distressing for you and those around you. Try grounding yourself by focusing on details of your surroundings or neutral physical sensations, such as the feeling of your feet on the floor. Call someone you trust and tell them what is happening. Your family, friends, or health care provider may be able to provide support and help you deal with your flashbacks. Learn more steps you can take on our Flashbacks page.
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Noise or Light Irritation
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If I'm experiencing noise or light irritation, what can I do about it right away?
Learn what triggers episodes of noise or light irritation. Try making adjustments to computer and TV screens, and ensure you get the right amount of sleep. If you're taking medication and want to know if it could be affecting your sensitivity to noise or light, talk to your doctor. Certain drugs or medications may cause vision or hearing problems. Never stop taking a prescription without first consulting a medical professional. Learn more steps you can take on our Noise or Light Irritation page.
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Nightmares
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If I’m having nightmares, what can I do about it right away?
To manage upsetting feelings after a nightmare, focus on what's real by touching and describing objects around you. If you're unable to sleep within 15 minutes, leave your bed briefly to wash your hands or drink water while avoiding any strenuous activity. Also, talk to your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're experiencing. They may be able to provide support and help you find solutions. Learn more steps you can take on our Nightmares page.
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High-Risk Activities
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Alcohol or Drug Misuse
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What can I do about drinking or drug use?
There are many options for Veterans who want to cut down on or stop drinking alcohol or using drugs. One option is counseling, either one-on-one or in a group. Another involves medication to help reduce use. A third option is mutual-help groups. You can work with your doctor or counselor and try different types of treatment to find the one that's best for you. Learn more steps you can take on our Alcohol or Drug Misuse page.
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Gambling
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If I’m experiencing a gambling problem, what can I do about it right away?
The first step in addressing your challenges is to acknowledge that gambling has become a problem in your life and recognize that it is possible to make a change. Practice relaxation exercises such as deep breathing to manage stress and urges to gamble. Spend time with supportive people who do not gamble, and talk with your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're experiencing. They may be able to provide support and help you find solutions that are right for you. Learn more steps you can take on our Gambling page.
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Reckless Behavior
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What can I do if I’ve noticed myself engaging in reckless behavior?
There are ways to prevent yourself from engaging in risky behavior. Plan to avoid situations that might lead to recklessness. For example, leave early or late to avoid rush-hour traffic, or arrange a ride home if you'll be drinking. Talking with your family members, close friends, or a health care provider may help you find support and resources to address your challenges. Learn more steps you can take on our Reckless Behavior page.
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