Francille, an Army Veteran, drank and used drugs after her divorce. She was arrested and lost custody of her children. After another arrest the police helped her connect with VA. She started counseling and received medication. After overcoming drug and alcohol use, she now enjoys a good relationship with her family.
View Video TranscriptFrancille:
My name is Francille. I originally enlisted for Germany. I was in the United States Army from September 1979 to October 1982. I got out for 15 years and went back in with the United States National Guard doing medical support for the Blackhawks during Bosnia.
My troubles began after my divorce. I was on my own raising 4 children. I started drinking, started using. At one point during my addiction, I lost my parental rights. I was busted for selling drugs, and I lost custody.
Through my drug addiction, 21 years of my life was just gone in one day. And my children were gone in one day. I had gotten to this point with my addiction that I weighed like 98 pounds. And I just knew I was going to die. I said this can’t be the way that this ends. I have to change things about myself so that I break this cycle for my children’s sake.
The last time that I was busted in Sacramento, the sheriffs actually have a program there. When they found out that I was a veteran they thought that it would be good for me to use my benefits, but one of the things that would help me the most would be to get out of the area, get away from people, places and things. All those things that kept me going down that same street and falling into that same rut.
The outreach team from the VA would come and look for veterans to see if they wanted assistance with mental health, and that’s how I ended up in Menlo Park. An $18 ticket put me on the bus, and I’ve been here since.
When I go to the clinic, I do have my meds that I take for my depression. Then the mental part is actually being able to speak to someone. Going into therapy, going to counseling and talking about the things, the traumas in your life and getting that off of your chest. A lot of times you carry around baggage that should have been dropped off a long time ago. Realizing where my weaknesses are, setting boundaries with that and just staying away from the things that tear me down versus build me up.
I’m an in-home care provider, CPR certified. It feels so good to have my children still love me because when I talk, I’ve talked to many vets who no longer are a part of their kids’ lives, so I know how fortunate I am to still have that piece in my life. So, I protect it with every breath that I take because I’m fortunate enough to have them all in my life. And there was a time that I didn’t have that, and it was devastating for me.
No matter what you find yourself up against, if you want it bad enough, you know, like basic training, you just have to hang on and climb over those walls and you have to tunnel through some things. Sometimes you get down and dirty, but you can get up and make it to the top.
You’re not alone. You’re not the only one that has made a mistake. You’ve earned the benefits that are provided through our military system. There are numbers to call. There are hotlines and crisis lines and there are clinics in most areas. Just tell somebody and get the help that you need.
No matter what you may be experiencing, there is support for getting your life on a better track. Many, many Veterans have found the strength to reach out and make the connection.
An online source of information for persons seeking treatment facilities in the United States or U.S. territories for substance abuse/addiction and/or mental health problems.
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If you find yourself living with guilt or remorse about a past action or inaction, try to set aside time to think about your feelings. Remember that everyone has things they would have done differently—but no one can change the past or predict the future. Sometimes the experience is worse if you keep your feelings to yourself. Telling someone, like a family member or friend, about your regrets or guilty feelings can be a good first step to overcoming them. Learn more steps you can take on our Guilt page.
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If you are experiencing loss of interest or pleasure, try to plan a pleasurable activity daily, even if it's something small. Physical activity can improve your mood and help you sleep better. Talking to your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're feeling can also be helpful. They may be able to provide support and help you discover what is causing you to lose interest in things you once enjoyed. Learn more steps you can take on our Loss of Interest or Pleasure page.
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Allowing social withdrawal or social isolation to continue unchecked will only make your situation more challenging. Consider reaching out to your family members, friends, or health care provider, even though it may be the last thing you feel like doing. Connect with Veterans' groups or participate in clubs or hobbies focused on something you like. Research shows that spending time talking with others improves your mood and has a positive effect on health. Learn more steps you can take on our Social Withdrawal and Isolation page.
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There are several ways to improve your sleep right away: (1) Make your bedroom a place just for sleeping—not for activities like watching TV, reading, working, or listening to the radio. (2) Avoid light exposure from screens at night, which can throw off your sleep cycle. (3) Avoid alcohol and large meals near bedtime. (4) Maintain a regular sleep schedule. In addition, talking with your family members, close friends, or a health care provider may help you find support and resources to address your challenges. Learn more steps you can take on our Trouble Sleeping page.
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If you are experiencing confusion, try to slow down and focus on the task at hand. Take regular breaks to avoid feeling tired and overwhelmed. Avoid drinking alcohol, which can make confusion worse. Talk to your health care provider to determine whether a medical condition such as TBI might be contributing to the problem. You can also talk to a pharmacist about the possible effects of medications you're taking. Learn more steps you can take on our Confusion page.
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If you are experiencing dizziness, lie down for a few minutes with your head slightly elevated. Lifestyle changes such as drinking more water, getting enough rest, and avoiding alcohol or drugs can help. Medications and medical conditions such as heart disease or ear issues can also cause dizziness; consult a medical provider if you get dizzy on a regular basis. If you suddenly lose function in part of your body (e.g., arm weakness, face drooping, difficulty speaking) along with experiencing vertigo, this can indicate a serious problem, such as a stroke. Call 911 and seek medical help immediately. Learn more steps you can take on our Dizziness page.
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Flashbacks
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A flashback can be distressing for you and those around you. Try grounding yourself by focusing on details of your surroundings or neutral physical sensations, such as the feeling of your feet on the floor. Call someone you trust and tell them what is happening. Your family, friends, or health care provider may be able to provide support and help you deal with your flashbacks. Learn more steps you can take on our Flashbacks page.
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Noise or Light Irritation
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Learn what triggers episodes of noise or light irritation. Try making adjustments to computer and TV screens, and ensure you get the right amount of sleep. If you're taking medication and want to know if it could be affecting your sensitivity to noise or light, talk to your doctor. Certain drugs or medications may cause vision or hearing problems. Never stop taking a prescription without first consulting a medical professional. Learn more steps you can take on our Noise or Light Irritation page.
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Nightmares
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To manage upsetting feelings after a nightmare, focus on what's real by touching and describing objects around you. If you're unable to sleep within 15 minutes, leave your bed briefly to wash your hands or drink water while avoiding any strenuous activity. Also, talk to your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're experiencing. They may be able to provide support and help you find solutions. Learn more steps you can take on our Nightmares page.
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High-Risk Activities
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Alcohol or Drug Misuse
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What can I do about drinking or drug use?
There are many options for Veterans who want to cut down on or stop drinking alcohol or using drugs. One option is counseling, either one-on-one or in a group. Another involves medication to help reduce use. A third option is mutual-help groups. You can work with your doctor or counselor and try different types of treatment to find the one that's best for you. Learn more steps you can take on our Alcohol or Drug Misuse page.
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Gambling
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Video Title: After Challenges With Gambling and Substance Use, Veteran Finds Tools To Recover
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If I’m experiencing a gambling problem, what can I do about it right away?
The first step in addressing your challenges is to acknowledge that gambling has become a problem in your life and recognize that it is possible to make a change. Practice relaxation exercises such as deep breathing to manage stress and urges to gamble. Spend time with supportive people who do not gamble, and talk with your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're experiencing. They may be able to provide support and help you find solutions that are right for you. Learn more steps you can take on our Gambling page.
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Reckless Behavior
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What can I do if I’ve noticed myself engaging in reckless behavior?
There are ways to prevent yourself from engaging in risky behavior. Plan to avoid situations that might lead to recklessness. For example, leave early or late to avoid rush-hour traffic, or arrange a ride home if you'll be drinking. Talking with your family members, close friends, or a health care provider may help you find support and resources to address your challenges. Learn more steps you can take on our Reckless Behavior page.
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