After Ken got out of the Army he started drinking. He didn’t feel comfortable at home and his anger and drinking led to time in prison. He started VA counseling and opened up. He stuck with counseling and his anger started to go away. Now, Ken isn’t angry and he finds the good even in little things.
View Video TranscriptKen:
My name's Ken. I served in the U.S. Army Reserves and U.S. Army and I was called up for Desert Storm/Desert Shield, and I was over there in Iraq and left in 1990.
I got out of the Army and I knew something was wrong, and I started drinking because that was the only way I could really feel right because I’m not around all those people anymore, around the people I shared this experience with. So, I went back to Kuwait as a contractor. The drinking got worse and the anger. I didn’t want to get along with anybody. I couldn’t talk to anybody. So, I just, for the next years I just crawled in a bottle.
And I got married over there and we stayed there for a while. I came back. She wanted to come back here. She joined the Air Force and I didn’t fit in the United States. My anger got the worst of me and I ended up in jail on Keesler Air Force Base. I never hit her or anything, but I just got drunk and finally she’d had enough. I drank because I was mad, and I couldn’t figure out why I was so mad. I just… and then, it amazes me to this day why I didn’t talk to somebody then, but I didn’t know how to deal with the feelings and emotions, so I dealt with it by drinking.
I got another DUI which was my third one and they sent me to prison for three years. That was it. I decided something needed to change and I knew drinking wasn’t going to be it. So, I went through the RSAT Program at the VA here in Boise. One-on-one with a counselor, that helped. They’d open me up and let me talk about things and weren’t judgmental, I guess a lot of it. They were very open and positive and then just, they helped me work through things and talk about them. I didn’t think I’d get anything out of it. I went in with a really closed mind. I figured it was just somebody just picking my brain and I wasn’t going to tell them anything, but got in there and at the first one-on-one with my counselor, it was just like talking to a friend and every day I’d feel better about myself instead of down on myself, and I found out that the anger was going away.
To this day, I got to surround myself with nothing but positive, great people that are going through the same things. I’ll always have it, but I have tools to manage it and I don’t have to drink or use. I learned how to give of myself, which made a tremendous difference in my life and I do a lot of volunteer work, and I go every Monday to my old SAT groups and I still have a counselor at the VA that I see every week.
Right now, I’m just taking life easy. I don’t have to… I can take it one day at a time. I like to ride my Harley. I get to laugh more, I didn’t laugh for a long time. If you got something going on inside, talk to somebody, reach out to somebody, because don’t go the path I went. It took me 20 years and time in prison, and it wasn’t a life. It was a big façade. Get the help reach out to somebody and say, “Hey I got issues. I got something going on. Can you help me?” And there’s people at the VA that’ll help you, fantastic people. Try and get the help you can get. It’ll save your life. It’ll change your life.
No matter what you may be experiencing, there is support for getting your life on a better track. Many, many Veterans have found the strength to reach out and make the connection.
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To manage upsetting feelings after a nightmare, focus on what's real by touching and describing objects around you. If you're unable to sleep within 15 minutes, leave your bed briefly to wash your hands or drink water while avoiding any strenuous activity. Also, talk to your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're experiencing. They may be able to provide support and help you find solutions. Learn more steps you can take on our Nightmares page.
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There are many options for Veterans who want to cut down on or stop drinking alcohol or using drugs. One option is counseling, either one-on-one or in a group. Another involves medication to help reduce use. A third option is mutual-help groups. You can work with your doctor or counselor and try different types of treatment to find the one that's best for you. Learn more steps you can take on our Alcohol or Drug Misuse page.
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The first step in addressing your challenges is to acknowledge that gambling has become a problem in your life and recognize that it is possible to make a change. Practice relaxation exercises such as deep breathing to manage stress and urges to gamble. Spend time with supportive people who do not gamble, and talk with your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're experiencing. They may be able to provide support and help you find solutions that are right for you. Learn more steps you can take on our Gambling page.
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Reckless Behavior
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There are ways to prevent yourself from engaging in risky behavior. Plan to avoid situations that might lead to recklessness. For example, leave early or late to avoid rush-hour traffic, or arrange a ride home if you'll be drinking. Talking with your family members, close friends, or a health care provider may help you find support and resources to address your challenges. Learn more steps you can take on our Reckless Behavior page.
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