Kionte, a Marine Veteran, lost his leg in an IED blast. During his recovery, he felt lost and regretted leaving his fellow Marines on the field. He finally found some relief when he opened up to his friend — and later, his therapist. Now, Kionte is motivated by his amputation and pushes himself to succeed, both physically and mentally.
View Video TranscriptKionte:
My name's Kionte. I served with the United States Marine Corps from 2007 to 2012. We were clearing out a building and there was an IED in the doorway and I think out of 13 people I was the last guy that walked into the building with my Junior Marine behind me. And I stepped on that IED. I awoke in a hospital where my left leg was fully wrapped, but my right leg was gone completely below the knee. And I was at Balboa Hospital where I was stationed and where I did my rehabilitation in there.
I felt regret because my guys were still out there and I was, you know, in the hospital and I couldn’t do anything.
Once I was pushed to being out-patient is where depression kind of kicked in a little bit more for me, where I felt a little not myself, I guess. I started abusing my, my medication, my pain meds. I didn’t really need it as much as I did before for the pain. It was very hard to find that glimmer of hope or light at that time.
One day, I was just in bed and just had to ask myself, you know, like, “What do I…?” like, “Why am I…?” Like, kind of asking myself, “Why am I here? Why am I still alive?” Talking to someone, I only had my one friend that I, I trusted, and it took awhile for us to kind of trust each other. I opened up to him, you know, every, like, vaguely, and slowly just continued to open up to him, and it felt good to be able to talk to someone and be able to have someone understand you to where, you know, if I talk to my friends, you know, they wouldn’t be able to understand where I’m coming from.
I didn’t really talk to a therapist until, like, the last year, to where I realized, you know, like maybe there’s things for me to talk that I should probably talk about. My therapist kind of just allowed me to talk and she would ask me questions here and there. And after a certain while, I would just open up and I would just talk and talk and talk. And she would just listen.
I guess, for me, I had to just keep asking myself, every morning I would wake up, you know, like, “Why am I still alive?” It’s like trying to find that purpose for me or myself at least.
Decided to ask myself, you know, like, “What makes me happy?” And I realized at that point, you know, making other people happy—making other people happy makes me happy. So I started to get into, like, Paralympic camps so that got me out of the room. It kind of started that mindset, or that slight change, of to where I’m, I could still do something with my life.
Being a part of, you know, active people encouraged me that to be more active. And when you see another amputee doing something that you thought you couldn’t do, you’re just like, “I want to do that, but better.” And I’ve always wanted to be better and better because it’s challenging myself because I thought I couldn’t do any of these things. And now I’m doing many things I probably would have never done if I wasn’t injured.
I’ve, you know, done motivational speaking, I’ve climbed the highest mountain in Antarctica. I’ve, you know, challenged myself, I’ve pushed myself, I’ve done all these things that I never would have thought have been possible, but making that first step of just from when I was in the hospital, making that step to where I was just like, “I don’t want to be this way,” and making that change, I’ve been able to grow in a more positive direction. But it doesn’t negate that I have my down days. I still have my depression days. But I know how to control them. You know, I know how to work with them rather than work against them. And I feel that’s why I still continue to seek therapy, because I’ve found that it does help.
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Learn what triggers episodes of noise or light irritation. Try making adjustments to computer and TV screens, and ensure you get the right amount of sleep. If you're taking medication and want to know if it could be affecting your sensitivity to noise or light, talk to your doctor. Certain drugs or medications may cause vision or hearing problems. Never stop taking a prescription without first consulting a medical professional. Learn more steps you can take on our Noise or Light Irritation page.
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To manage upsetting feelings after a nightmare, focus on what's real by touching and describing objects around you. If you're unable to sleep within 15 minutes, leave your bed briefly to wash your hands or drink water while avoiding any strenuous activity. Also, talk to your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're experiencing. They may be able to provide support and help you find solutions. Learn more steps you can take on our Nightmares page.
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There are many options for Veterans who want to cut down on or stop drinking alcohol or using drugs. One option is counseling, either one-on-one or in a group. Another involves medication to help reduce use. A third option is mutual-help groups. You can work with your doctor or counselor and try different types of treatment to find the one that's best for you. Learn more steps you can take on our Alcohol or Drug Misuse page.
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The first step in addressing your challenges is to acknowledge that gambling has become a problem in your life and recognize that it is possible to make a change. Practice relaxation exercises such as deep breathing to manage stress and urges to gamble. Spend time with supportive people who do not gamble, and talk with your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're experiencing. They may be able to provide support and help you find solutions that are right for you. Learn more steps you can take on our Gambling page.
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There are ways to prevent yourself from engaging in risky behavior. Plan to avoid situations that might lead to recklessness. For example, leave early or late to avoid rush-hour traffic, or arrange a ride home if you'll be drinking. Talking with your family members, close friends, or a health care provider may help you find support and resources to address your challenges. Learn more steps you can take on our Reckless Behavior page.
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