”Drinking was an outlet for me — that became too much of an outlet.“ Marcus shares his story of losing his leg to an IED and turning to alcohol to cope. He felt depressed and had problems in his marriage. Marcus reached out for support and started therapy and marriage counseling. He repaired his relationships and found new meaning in his life.
View Video TranscriptMarcus:
My name is Marcus. I'm in the Marine Corps, or was in the Marine Corps. And I served both in Iraq and Afghanistan. I joined the Marine Corps to do essentially one thing and that was to go fight. I joined at the age of 17, just out of high school. I went home and I told my mom that I wanted to join the Marine Corps, that I was going to become a Marine.
And so, within the Native American culture, I believe that or actually see that not a lot of them give the initial support of being in the military. And a lot of that might come from, you know, the pass down of historic events that Native Americans and the U.S. Government have had in the past.
So, to be a part of the Marine Corps in this day and age was definitely a big step for my family. I’ve done 3 deployments to Iraq. And so, that was 2006, 2007, 2008. I did reenlistment then and I went to a Marine unit in Camp Pendleton and did a deployment to Korea and Afghanistan.
On October 9th in 2010, I stepped on a 25-pound pressure plated IED. That resulted in the loss of my left leg above the knee. My life in every aspect had to be adapted. Now, I was no longer, you know, physically healthy. I was an amputee.
You know, there was a level of depression from when I initially got injured. And my thought process with depression was that it was because people just weren’t strong enough to handle, you know, trauma. And then I went through a depression and I could not help what my body was doing. I went to the mental healthcare professionals and I said, “Hey, this is what my daily lifestyle is looking like right now. And I need you to sort of help me figure out what I need to do to get out of this.”
For me, myself, it was difficult because I had never gone through therapy. I didn’t know exactly what it was we were supposed to talk about. There was definitely a lot of denial about the level of stress that I was going through in dealing with a lot of the things that I had endured while being a Marine. I mean, it was almost like a full-time second job trying to go back and not necessarily undo what happened to myself, but to try to just put it in a different perspective that, you know I wasn’t going to be able to change anything but I could live with it and have that progression of life.
It has been about seven years since I lost my leg in Afghanistan. And that transitional time, even seven years sounds like an ample amount of time, but seven years to me has been a series of moments in my transition. So, maintaining my marriage is definitely moments in my transition.
Being Native American, there’s sort of this taboo mindset that Native Americans couldn’t handle alcohol. There was a lot of people who would joke with me about it. Like, oh, he’s Native American. He can’t handle drinking. But I think there were a lot of things that I wasn’t being taught how to deal with internally about my experiences in the Marine Corps and a lot of the deployments that I had done. Drinking sort of was just like an outlet for me that became too much of an outlet.
I met my wife in the first year as a Marine. When it came to drinking, you know she was like, “Hey, if we live together, if we start a family, there’s a side of this that needs to stop or slow down a bit so you can pay attention to you know fulfilling the needs of being a dad, the needs of being a husband.”
So, there was a little bit of struggle there. But I went to the resources that were there and available and said that I had an issue. Those programs were put in place to try to catch people before they got to the point where they can’t take back some of the mistakes that they would make.
As my lifestyle changed and I became more involved in my marriage, as I became more involved at being a dad, she wanted me to understand how to improve that as well. Marriage counseling was definitely a good thing. I don’t push that on people like it’s something they need to do, but it’s a good resource. It’s a good outlet.
The change I think is a steady progress for myself. I’ve gone back a number of times to just try to you know get tune ups or get some realignments. All the stuff that I was given before through mental health, through substance abuse programs, through marital counseling, it had meaning. It had purpose in my life. You actually go through you know some type of reconstruction that help you take your experiences, your workplace, your marriage, your relationship with your kids and the rest of your family and your friends, all of those experiences help you just become better at those things.
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If you are experiencing confusion, try to slow down and focus on the task at hand. Take regular breaks to avoid feeling tired and overwhelmed. Avoid drinking alcohol, which can make confusion worse. Talk to your health care provider to determine whether a medical condition such as TBI might be contributing to the problem. You can also talk to a pharmacist about the possible effects of medications you're taking. Learn more steps you can take on our Confusion page.
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If you are experiencing dizziness, lie down for a few minutes with your head slightly elevated. Lifestyle changes such as drinking more water, getting enough rest, and avoiding alcohol or drugs can help. Medications and medical conditions such as heart disease or ear issues can also cause dizziness; consult a medical provider if you get dizzy on a regular basis. If you suddenly lose function in part of your body (e.g., arm weakness, face drooping, difficulty speaking) along with experiencing vertigo, this can indicate a serious problem, such as a stroke. Call 911 and seek medical help immediately. Learn more steps you can take on our Dizziness page.
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Flashbacks
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A flashback can be distressing for you and those around you. Try grounding yourself by focusing on details of your surroundings or neutral physical sensations, such as the feeling of your feet on the floor. Call someone you trust and tell them what is happening. Your family, friends, or health care provider may be able to provide support and help you deal with your flashbacks. Learn more steps you can take on our Flashbacks page.
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Noise or Light Irritation
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Learn what triggers episodes of noise or light irritation. Try making adjustments to computer and TV screens, and ensure you get the right amount of sleep. If you're taking medication and want to know if it could be affecting your sensitivity to noise or light, talk to your doctor. Certain drugs or medications may cause vision or hearing problems. Never stop taking a prescription without first consulting a medical professional. Learn more steps you can take on our Noise or Light Irritation page.
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Nightmares
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To manage upsetting feelings after a nightmare, focus on what's real by touching and describing objects around you. If you're unable to sleep within 15 minutes, leave your bed briefly to wash your hands or drink water while avoiding any strenuous activity. Also, talk to your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're experiencing. They may be able to provide support and help you find solutions. Learn more steps you can take on our Nightmares page.
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High-Risk Activities
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What can I do about drinking or drug use?
There are many options for Veterans who want to cut down on or stop drinking alcohol or using drugs. One option is counseling, either one-on-one or in a group. Another involves medication to help reduce use. A third option is mutual-help groups. You can work with your doctor or counselor and try different types of treatment to find the one that's best for you. Learn more steps you can take on our Alcohol or Drug Misuse page.
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Gambling
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If I’m experiencing a gambling problem, what can I do about it right away?
The first step in addressing your challenges is to acknowledge that gambling has become a problem in your life and recognize that it is possible to make a change. Practice relaxation exercises such as deep breathing to manage stress and urges to gamble. Spend time with supportive people who do not gamble, and talk with your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're experiencing. They may be able to provide support and help you find solutions that are right for you. Learn more steps you can take on our Gambling page.
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Reckless Behavior
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What can I do if I’ve noticed myself engaging in reckless behavior?
There are ways to prevent yourself from engaging in risky behavior. Plan to avoid situations that might lead to recklessness. For example, leave early or late to avoid rush-hour traffic, or arrange a ride home if you'll be drinking. Talking with your family members, close friends, or a health care provider may help you find support and resources to address your challenges. Learn more steps you can take on our Reckless Behavior page.
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