The more I talked about it, the easier it got

Becca:

My name is Becca and I was in the Navy from 2004 to 2009. Stationed in Lemoore, Afghanistan, I was deployed there, Whidbey Island. Day to day, I would just trouble shoot F-18, P-3, EA-6B Electronics.

So I was SAVI rep. Sexual Assault Victim Intervention and I was that designated rep in Afghanistan which basically meant if there were any incidences, I would be the person handling somebody throughout the process, and ironically, I had somebody break into my room, or my B hut and try to attack me. I remember it happened and I had shown up late to work and they said, “why are you late?” and I said, “well this happened.”

Even though I was a SAVI rep rep, when I was on the other side, it kind of unfortunately is a career killer, military sexual stuff, and still I was like, I have to come forward, I have to say it, and so I did. Because I came forward, a couple other people down the line, I found out a year and a half later had come forward and so they ended up busting him down. I knew that impacted me, but I didn’t really think much about it til after I got out of the Navy, and then somebody tried to break into my house.

It triggered everything that had happened before while I was in, and so I didn’t say anything, but this time because I have ADHD, I already have the monthly appointments or whatever, and I told my doctor, “hey, I’m having a hard time with this.” So, actually the set me up with a Counselor. I was able to talk with somebody the time when I really needed it and I was kind of like, “ah, I need help.” It was very quick.

Basically they try to find the best match for you. Like, do I want to talk to a female or a male? And for me I was like, I don’t care, just find me somebody that is good. Actuallly they set me up with a Counselor. I was able to talk to somebody off base and that person helped me go through it. Sometimes it is tough. People think because they can’t physically see something wrong, then nothing is, and that’s so frustrating.

You go in and meet the person, introduce themselves, and say who they are, a little bit about them and then they ask you about yourself and then just say, “so what do you want to talk about?”, or they’ll ask you questions that help you talk about it and then they’ll give you, not really homework, but coping tactics. They’ll say, “hey, if this is happening or you start to feel like this, this is what you can visualize.” I just remember them saying, “okay, so when you wake up in the middle of the night and you’re freaking out, just remind yourself that you’re in your house and it’s a safe space.”

It went from waking up in a panic and being like, “oh no,” to “okay, things are going to be okay. That happened then, it’s not happening now.” But the thing is the more I talked about it, the easier it got which is why I’m able to talk to you now and be pretty calm about it.

Through sharing a little bit, other people would ask me, “hey, I don’t feel so good, or things are going on, or did you really talk to your Navy doctor about that? They didn’t cut off your care?” I’m like, “no, actually go talk to them.”

These are people who have been trained and their committed to taking care of Veterans.