David had a difficult time transitioning from service in Iraq to civilian life. Using alcohol and drugs to mask his symptoms, he spiraled out of control and ended up in the hospital. David resolved to change, for himself and for his family relationships, and began treatment at VA. Now, he’s able to be there for his kids and continue moving forward.
View Video TranscriptDavid:
Hi my name is David. I served in the US Army National Guard from 2001 to 2013. Being in downtown Baghdad you never knew who the enemy was. You never knew what the intent was of the person that you were walking through the crowd or the marketplace was. Very, very stressful times.
I developed a very healthy alcohol addiction. You’re expected to get back into Civilian life and just kind of be good to go and the military teaches you, trains you to be a Soldier. They don’t train you to be a Civilian and so transition was definitely a difficult task, it was very daunting. I actually started hanging out with the wrong folks and started getting into hallucinogens. Mixing that with alcohol and all kinds of stuff. Just not being who I should be, as number one, a father, a husband, a Soldier.
I ended up winding myself in the hospital, in the ER because I was so high. I was gone. Went back home after getting out of the ER and my wife gave me an ultimatum. She was like, “It’s either your family or that, what you’re doing. You need to pull your head out of your ass and start doing what you need to do.” It was kind of after that I made the determination, I really started doing some soul searching. I was like, I’m not gonna let myself be defined by my disabilities anymore. Even though I was just a National Guardsman at the time, I was still expected to maintain tact and bearing outside of the uniform as well, and I wasn’t doing that. I got pulled into our Medical Commander’s office and he was like “Sargeant Donaldson, where are you trying to go?” “Back to Iraq with my boys, sir.” And he was like, “That’s not gonna happen.”
He knew what he was doing by sending me to the VA. I went down there and got enrolled and everything else, and started seeing Therapists and started seeing different mental health practices, so started engaging in services, because I knew “I gotta beat this. I can’t live like this. I don’t want to live like this.” And I started helping the guys that had not been through it and kind of found out, I was like wow, so I can’t fight in the war anymore but there’s a new war. Battling with recovery. Battling through the symptoms. Battling through the addictions. That’s the new war. And that became my new mission.
I think my relationships have gotten a lot better. My relationships with my family now. My kids are my life. Everything I do is for them, everything. And I am a better man because of it, you know. I am so thankful that I didn’t lose them during that time and I was able to recover from that.
Don’t keep to yourself. Don’t isolate. You have to reach out. You have to reach out. So many of us military folk are bound by pride. We let pride get in the way of our recovery. The main issue is not being connected to those resources. They are out there. You have to have the willingness to accept the help.
No matter what you may be experiencing, there is support for getting your life on a better track. Many, many Veterans have found the strength to reach out and make the connection.
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To manage upsetting feelings after a nightmare, focus on what's real by touching and describing objects around you. If you're unable to sleep within 15 minutes, leave your bed briefly to wash your hands or drink water while avoiding any strenuous activity. Also, talk to your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're experiencing. They may be able to provide support and help you find solutions. Learn more steps you can take on our Nightmares page.
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There are many options for Veterans who want to cut down on or stop drinking alcohol or using drugs. One option is counseling, either one-on-one or in a group. Another involves medication to help reduce use. A third option is mutual-help groups. You can work with your doctor or counselor and try different types of treatment to find the one that's best for you. Learn more steps you can take on our Alcohol or Drug Misuse page.
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The first step in addressing your challenges is to acknowledge that gambling has become a problem in your life and recognize that it is possible to make a change. Practice relaxation exercises such as deep breathing to manage stress and urges to gamble. Spend time with supportive people who do not gamble, and talk with your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're experiencing. They may be able to provide support and help you find solutions that are right for you. Learn more steps you can take on our Gambling page.
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Reckless Behavior
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There are ways to prevent yourself from engaging in risky behavior. Plan to avoid situations that might lead to recklessness. For example, leave early or late to avoid rush-hour traffic, or arrange a ride home if you'll be drinking. Talking with your family members, close friends, or a health care provider may help you find support and resources to address your challenges. Learn more steps you can take on our Reckless Behavior page.
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