After returning from deployment, Brent’s battle had only just begun. He turned to drinking to deal with stress. He bounced between jobs and relationships while trying to cope with flashbacks, financial problems, and depression—until he finally reached out for help from VA and learned how to get his life on course to a better place.
View Video TranscriptBrent:
My name’s Brent. I served in the Army for six years, active, then I was in the reserves. When I got out, I had a hell of a time assimilating back in the civilian society. I drank a lot, every night, and I did it to numb myself or try to forget what I saw and what I did. I got deployed, called back, deployed and the night after I got back, I went out, got liquored up and got arrested for drunk driving. That was not a good… not proud of it. It was pretty bad situation, but I was fortunate that the people involved, my lawyer, pulled out, used my military record, excellent record, and he said we just got a guy here that needs help and I got substance abuse through the city and had to go on probation.
I was having a hard time. I was bouncing from job to job and relationships weren’t…I just wouldn’t let anybody in. I just told myself, I came from a family or generation that you don’t talk to people about your problems. You’re not allowed to have mental issues, and so that’s what I thought, and it went on for several years, just feeling lost — hopeless at times.
Just a few months ago, I was going on the highway and there was a terrible accident, a guy got killed and a big diesel RV rear ended the guy and — the median and then he was there, so I was 100 feet away watching this, and they brought a Medivac in, helicopter, and that night, I had flashbacks and nightmares. I was Medivacked out at one time. At that time, I’d been working with Veterans with PTSD and, and felt that I was recovering or recovered and I had about two, three weeks of that and I called a friend of mine that’s a psychiatrist at the VA that I work with and he’s always told me, everything, every time I see him, talking about other Veterans and he’d say, “But how are you?” and he said if I ever need to talk, to get a hold of him, so we talked and I understand all these things going through the classes, the training, and just picking it up while I’m doing it and I couldn’t figure out why I couldn’t stop it, and after talking to the VA doctor they kind of went away.
We had a tornado, that was 2008 in our area and I’d been out all weekend getting oxygen cylinders to people that were on concentrators because they had no electricity. I hurt my back again and two days later I was sitting at home kind of depressed cause it kind of hit me hard. I thought I was back on top and sheriff comes to the door with a foreclosure notice. I had to declare bankruptcy and I always thought people that declare bankruptcy — they’re bums and scumbags and so on. And so I’ve got that mentality. So I’m just lower and lower and then my dog died all in 30 days and that’s when I really really hit rock bottom, and I’d already been seeing the VA docs. And I just went in and we worked through it. I was depressed and I’ve always been, even with all the issues, I felt I was even keel. And then all of a sudden I just hit rock bottom.
Then when I went to the VA doc, I said, “I don’t know how to be depressed.” Which sounds kind of stupid. Who knows how to be depressed? I’d never had any experience with it, I’d probably been that way for a long time, but just didn’t realize it. So, last five years or so, I’d been seeing the docs at the VA. We got the greatest doctors and social workers and psychologists around. I’d put them up against anybody cause they really care. They’re there because they wanna be, cause let’s face it, they could be making a lot more money in private practice, but they’re there because they wanna be helping Veterans.
I have all these tools that I’ve gotten, I was given by the VA docs and now I can use them to help other Veterans and I can get these other Veterans to the doctors that they need to see. I’m in no way a counselor, I’m not doing therapy, I’m just a guy that’s been through it and I can see it in their eyes when I talk to them and I’d tell them, “I was there a year ago and I’m doing good now, so don’t give up, there’s light at the end of the tunnel.” There’s people out there that want to help us. I beg you, get some help. Regardless what it is, talk to anybody, go to the VA, go a county Veterans Affairs rep, they can get you into the VA system or they can get you to somebody. There’s no shame in asking for help. I learned that the hard way, and I don’t want anybody else to go through what I did to learn it no matter how tough, no matter how strong you think you are. If it’s there, go out and get some help.
No matter what you may be experiencing, there is support for getting your life on a better track. Many, many Veterans have found the strength to reach out and make the connection.
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If you are a Veteran or know a Veteran who is feeling hopeless or having thoughts of suicide, talk to someone right away. Consider sharing what you're feeling and thinking with your family, friends, or health care provider. In addition, you can call the Veterans Crisis Line: Dial 988 and then Press 1, chat online at VeteransCrisisLine.net, or send a text to 838255. The Veterans Crisis Line offers free, confidential support, 24/7. Learn more steps you can take on our Feelings of Hopelessness page.
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If you find yourself living with guilt or remorse about a past action or inaction, try to set aside time to think about your feelings. Remember that everyone has things they would have done differently—but no one can change the past or predict the future. Sometimes the experience is worse if you keep your feelings to yourself. Telling someone, like a family member or friend, about your regrets or guilty feelings can be a good first step to overcoming them. Learn more steps you can take on our Guilt page.
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Video Title: “I wasn't ready.” Army Veteran Discusses PTSD and Being Open to Healing
Video Title: Her father saw the signs and recommended help
Video Title: Recovering from a father’s death
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If you are experiencing loss of interest or pleasure, try to plan a pleasurable activity daily, even if it's something small. Physical activity can improve your mood and help you sleep better. Talking to your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're feeling can also be helpful. They may be able to provide support and help you discover what is causing you to lose interest in things you once enjoyed. Learn more steps you can take on our Loss of Interest or Pleasure page.
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Video Title: Getting back on track in civilian life
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Allowing social withdrawal or social isolation to continue unchecked will only make your situation more challenging. Consider reaching out to your family members, friends, or health care provider, even though it may be the last thing you feel like doing. Connect with Veterans' groups or participate in clubs or hobbies focused on something you like. Research shows that spending time talking with others improves your mood and has a positive effect on health. Learn more steps you can take on our Social Withdrawal and Isolation page.
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If you're experiencing stress and anxiety, try practicing relaxation techniques, such as deep breathing, to help you cope when things upset you or don't go according to plan. In addition, talk to your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're experiencing. They may be able to provide support and help you find solutions. Learn more steps you can take on our Stress and Anxiety page.
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If you are experiencing eating problems, find healthy ways to manage stress, such as taking a walk, going for a run, practicing relaxation exercises like deep breathing or meditation, or doing something nice for yourself like watching a movie or reading. Also, talk to your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're experiencing. They may be able to provide support and help you find solutions. Learn more steps you can take on our Eating Problems page.
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Video Title: A Veteran’s Journey From Homelessness to Hope
Video Title: Treatment for TBI improved David's life
Video Title: A Veteran reaches out for help with TBI symptoms
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If you are experiencing headaches, try to rest with your eyes closed and head supported. Getting enough sleep, eating regularly without skipping meals, staying hydrated, and maintaining good posture are simple lifestyle changes that can help you avoid or reduce headaches. Talk to your doctor if you experience frequent or recurring headaches, which can be a sign of a medical issue. Learn more steps you can take on our Headaches page.
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Video Title: Vietnam Veterans’ Voices on Managing PTSD
Video Title: Admitting she needed support was the first step
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There are several ways to improve your sleep right away: (1) Make your bedroom a place just for sleeping—not for activities like watching TV, reading, working, or listening to the radio. (2) Avoid light exposure from screens at night, which can throw off your sleep cycle. (3) Avoid alcohol and large meals near bedtime. (4) Maintain a regular sleep schedule. In addition, talking with your family members, close friends, or a health care provider may help you find support and resources to address your challenges. Learn more steps you can take on our Trouble Sleeping page.
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Cognitive Symptoms
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Video Title: Sometimes it's more than a physical injury
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Video Title: Everything seems like a potential threat
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If you are experiencing confusion, try to slow down and focus on the task at hand. Take regular breaks to avoid feeling tired and overwhelmed. Avoid drinking alcohol, which can make confusion worse. Talk to your health care provider to determine whether a medical condition such as TBI might be contributing to the problem. You can also talk to a pharmacist about the possible effects of medications you're taking. Learn more steps you can take on our Confusion page.
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If you are experiencing difficulty concentrating, avoid distractions like loud music or the television. Develop a routine and try to stick to a regular schedule. Additionally, take regular breaks to prevent feeling tired. Talk to your health care provider to determine whether a condition such as TBI, ADHD, or anxiety might be contributing to the problem. You can also talk to a pharmacist about the possible effects of medications you're taking. Learn more steps you can take on our Difficulty Concentrating page.
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Dizziness
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Video Title: I don't know what would've happened without VA
Video Title: Coping with TBI to improve quality of life
Video Title: Army Veteran learns to manage TBI symptoms
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If you are experiencing dizziness, lie down for a few minutes with your head slightly elevated. Lifestyle changes such as drinking more water, getting enough rest, and avoiding alcohol or drugs can help. Medications and medical conditions such as heart disease or ear issues can also cause dizziness; consult a medical provider if you get dizzy on a regular basis. If you suddenly lose function in part of your body (e.g., arm weakness, face drooping, difficulty speaking) along with experiencing vertigo, this can indicate a serious problem, such as a stroke. Call 911 and seek medical help immediately. Learn more steps you can take on our Dizziness page.
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Flashbacks
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Video Title: Triggers | Signs of a Mental Health Challenge
Video Title: Ending the grip of nightmares and flashbacks
Video Title: A science class causes a flashback for Tim
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If I’m experiencing a flashback, what can I do about it right away?
A flashback can be distressing for you and those around you. Try grounding yourself by focusing on details of your surroundings or neutral physical sensations, such as the feeling of your feet on the floor. Call someone you trust and tell them what is happening. Your family, friends, or health care provider may be able to provide support and help you deal with your flashbacks. Learn more steps you can take on our Flashbacks page.
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Noise or Light Irritation
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Video Title: I believe we're all in this together
Video Title: Counseling for PTSD leads to a work-study program
Video Title: Army Veteran Encourages Others To “Be Vulnerable” in Order To Heal
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If I'm experiencing noise or light irritation, what can I do about it right away?
Learn what triggers episodes of noise or light irritation. Try making adjustments to computer and TV screens, and ensure you get the right amount of sleep. If you're taking medication and want to know if it could be affecting your sensitivity to noise or light, talk to your doctor. Certain drugs or medications may cause vision or hearing problems. Never stop taking a prescription without first consulting a medical professional. Learn more steps you can take on our Noise or Light Irritation page.
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Nightmares
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Video Title: Recovering from flashbacks and nightmares
Video Title: Nightmares | Signs of a Mental Health Challenge
Video Title: The first thing I noticed was nightmares
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If I’m having nightmares, what can I do about it right away?
To manage upsetting feelings after a nightmare, focus on what's real by touching and describing objects around you. If you're unable to sleep within 15 minutes, leave your bed briefly to wash your hands or drink water while avoiding any strenuous activity. Also, talk to your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're experiencing. They may be able to provide support and help you find solutions. Learn more steps you can take on our Nightmares page.
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High-Risk Activities
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Alcohol or Drug Misuse
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Video Title: After Challenges With Gambling and Substance Use, Veteran Finds Tools To Recover
Video Title: Anything's Possible
Video Title: “We’re stronger together.” Army Veteran Urges Women Veterans To Get Support
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What can I do about drinking or drug use?
There are many options for Veterans who want to cut down on or stop drinking alcohol or using drugs. One option is counseling, either one-on-one or in a group. Another involves medication to help reduce use. A third option is mutual-help groups. You can work with your doctor or counselor and try different types of treatment to find the one that's best for you. Learn more steps you can take on our Alcohol or Drug Misuse page.
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Gambling
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Video Title: After Challenges With Gambling and Substance Use, Veteran Finds Tools To Recover
Video Title: Brenda found the support she needed to live well
Video Title: Gambling for the adrenaline rush
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If I’m experiencing a gambling problem, what can I do about it right away?
The first step in addressing your challenges is to acknowledge that gambling has become a problem in your life and recognize that it is possible to make a change. Practice relaxation exercises such as deep breathing to manage stress and urges to gamble. Spend time with supportive people who do not gamble, and talk with your family, friends, or health care provider about what you're experiencing. They may be able to provide support and help you find solutions that are right for you. Learn more steps you can take on our Gambling page.
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Reckless Behavior
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Video Title: “Each day was a new opportunity.” Veteran Reflects on Sobriety Journey
Video Title: I was carrying a heavy load
Video Title: Veteran strength to reach recovery
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What can I do if I’ve noticed myself engaging in reckless behavior?
There are ways to prevent yourself from engaging in risky behavior. Plan to avoid situations that might lead to recklessness. For example, leave early or late to avoid rush-hour traffic, or arrange a ride home if you'll be drinking. Talking with your family members, close friends, or a health care provider may help you find support and resources to address your challenges. Learn more steps you can take on our Reckless Behavior page.
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