Finding Your Purpose
Michelle: My name is Michelle, and I'm a veteran of the United States Air Force. I serve from 1991 to 2002 as a 3S071 personnel technician. While I was stationed at Fort Hood, Texas, I was at on TDY to Dyess Air Force Base, and I was sexually assaulted by a security forces personnel. It went to trial and he got off on a technicality. When I came back to my duty station, I was recommended to go to a group therapy for other survivors of sexual assault.
My transition out of the military was not voluntary. It was due to weight control failure. By that point in time, it had been two years since I had actually been officially diagnosed with major depressive disorder. I had been on several different antidepressants and some of them that I was on actually caused me to gain weight.
My consult with the VA, actually it's been great so far and they've given me different homework assignments. I was diagnosed with having PTSD. Honestly, I'm not a group therapy person, and so I just opted to stick with just one-on-one therapy. I think that works best for me. I've had a lot of great counselors with the VA. It's helped my healing process in a way that having to one, establish boundaries, which I felt like this was the first time I've done this in my entire life. Two, begin my self-confidence. I used to always think that everything was my fault and I had to learn that it wasn't my fault. Having PTSD and being violated the way I was in the military, you lose a lot of trust. I feel that my counselor is maybe at least that one person that I can trust.
I volunteer a lot. Right now, I'm on the leadership team with the Mission Continues, and so we do a lot of community service events in our local area. It benefits my mental health because I feel like I still have a purpose. Instead of just curling up in front of the sofa and watching Netflix and letting the world pass me by, I want to do something better with my time. I want to be a productive member of society, and I want to give back to my community. I really think it's been transformative in my recovery. It's scary to know how many people, both men and women, have been assaulted while serving their country. But you can go to the Vet Center and you can get enrolled in services. It'll be the best thing that you ever do. It might be hard, but you have to take the first step
and you need to go and you just need to ask for the help and there's no shame in doing that.
